Bachelor 2016 Episode 6: The Bahamas
Welcome, Bachelor Nation. Time for another Bachelor 2016 recap!
Thanks to the meddling producers, my top 6 is blown but I’ll get to that in a bit. My final 4 is still intact for the moment though so yay me!
We return to Mexico where the cocktail party was interrupted last week so Ben could have a tete-a-tete with Olivia to find out if there’s any truth to the rumors that she isn’t the person Ben thinks she is.
The other women are left to contemplate the outcome of the meeting between their mortal enemy and the man of their dreams. Most are convinced Olivia is going to have her rose taken away.
Really? Based on the meager testimony of crybaby Emily and a joke made in poor taste at Amanda’s expense? As I said last week, not happening.
Sherlock Higgins confronts his prime suspect directly with the allegations against her of not getting along with the other women. Olivia very rationally explains that she just doesn’t have that much in common with the other girls. She’s bookish and likes to talk “smart”. She also thinks that she has a target on her back because she got the first impression rose and she’s really confident about her connection with Ben.
All of that makes perfect sense to me. Like I said, Olivia is weird. She’s not typically girly and the bubbleheads that comprise most of the cast on The Bachelor really have no way to connect with someone like Olivia. She’s an introvert and maybe a little self-centered but this woman is not crazy or evil. Olivia is actually pretty smart compared to typical contestants.
I also read on Reality Steve (I don’t read much because of the spoilers but I saw this on his Thursday column last week) that Olivia has been in communication with Sharleen Joynt. Sharleen allegedly posted text messages between her and Olivia on her blog last week in which Olivia stated that the editors are making things seem like they went down much differently than they actually did.
Supposedly, Olivia was not given the last rose at the rose ceremony two weeks in a row. It was just edited to look like she did. Also, according to Olivia, she was much less hated by the other women in the house than the show is making it appear she was and has been in contact with several of her former co-contestants since the show ended. Caila for sure. I can’t remember the other names Steve listed.
Steve also claimed Sharleen was forced to take the texts down. By whom, I’m not sure. She writes for Flare magazine which, to my knowledge, is not owned by ABC. But ABC could have easily pressured her into taking the texts down anyway since you kind of have to play by their rules to remain part of the Bachelor royal family.
I’m surprised they even allow her to communicate with Reality Steve since he’s definitely a persona-non-grata with them for spoiling their show every season. But the two do have contact occasionally.
Hey, Olivia. If you’re out there and reading this, contact me and tell me your story. I’ll spill it all. No one can pay me enough to keep my mouth shut about the truth and I have no ties to anyone.
After the interrogation, which Olivia passes with flying colors, Ben and Olivia return to the cocktail party.
The other women are shocked, SHOCKED, to see Olivia return with her rose. I’m not. I hate to say I told you so… okay, no I don’t. 😛
Emily is downright livid and can’t understand why Ben doesn’t view Olivia as the monster she sees. She feels disrespected by Olivia. For what? Interrupting her while she was throwing Olivia under the bus last week? That seems like a reasonable response to me.
I seriously cannot stand Emily. I want to say all kinds of horrible, nasty things about this twit but I really shouldn’t. She’s just young, immature, and ignorant. I know there are a lot of people out there who think Emily is some kind of hero for having the guts to let Ben know how horrible Olivia is but she is NOT. I’m not going to say any more about her other than every time she speaks, I want to punch her in the face.
In an ITM, Olivia is visibly distraught over having been forced to defend herself to Ben against the accusations of the other women. Her eyes are swollen with tears. She seems like she’s on the verge of bursting into a fresh bout of tears when she says to the camera: “Come at me, bro. Everyone else can suck it.”
More anti-Olivia propaganda. It’s really pissing me off because I can see through the editing to the real Olivia and she didn’t deserve what the producers did to her. She’s not right for Ben but she’s not the villain the franchise is making her out to be.
But next I see an ITM where Becca says that no one can stand Olivia. I can write off comments made by Amanda and Emily easily since neither is the brightest bulb but Becca saying it has more weight. I’d like to know what exactly it is Olivia is doing that is upsetting the other women.
I’m having flashbacks to Nick Viall on Andi’s season though he seemed much more aggressive than Olivia so I could see why the other men might not like him. I haven’t seen Olivia do anything directly to the women that would make them dislike her so much.
If you take away all of Olivia’s ITMs where she expresses her delusional confidence in her connection with Ben, her misstep in talking to Ben about her cankles right after his friends died, stealing Ben away at every opportunity, and putting her foot in her mouth with the Teen Mom comment, what is left to vilify her with?
The other women weren’t privy to Olivia’s ITMs or the cankles commentary which means all she’s really done in their eyes is steal Ben away a lot and make a bad joke about how listening to Amanda feels like watching an episode of Teen Mom. I don’t get how those two things make her a monster.
First Rose Ceremony
Olivia, Lauren H., and Amanda have roses.
- Lauren B.
- Leah (huh? I have no idea how she survived another rose ceremony.)
Jubilee and Jennifer are gone. Jennifer exits as gracefully as she entered. I was surprised to see her go over Leah. Jennifer and Ben had a really strong connection on night one and then it just never went anywhere. I think that was a missed opportunity for Ben but it’s a really fast process. If he had more time to get to know his women, she might have gone a lot further and riffraff like Emily and Leah would have been long gone.
Although, Ben definitely seems to prefer blondes. Maybe that was the deal breaker.
Ben announces to his final 8 that they’re off to the Bahamas. Finally! A real destination. Chris Soules’ destinations were pretty sad. It seemed like they spent most of their time in Iowa. *Yawn*
The women are understandably excited. They finally get to wear the 800+ bikinis they packed to show off their beach-ready bods which, let’s be honest, is the primary asset most of them bring to the table.
Chris H. announces that there will be a one-on-one, a group date, and a two-on-one. He leaves a date card.
Caila gets a second one-on-one?
I was really surprised by this. I can understand Leah and Emily not getting a one-on-one but Olivia got the first impression rose. Whatever the women may have thought of her up to that point, she should have gotten a one-on-one in week two or three. It just makes no sense unless 1) The producers were in Ben’s ear telling him she wasn’t right for him which poisoned him against her or 2) Her breath was really as bad as everyone said it was.
I know it may seem like a silly thing but I almost broke up with someone for having bad breath in my early 30s. That’s when I found out about a miracle product called Therabreath. If you or a loved one is suffering from bad breath, use Therabreath. It’s a toothpaste and mouthwash combination. It’s a miracle cure for halitosis. You can buy it at most pharmacies. (No, I don’t work for them and yes, it really is a miracle cure.)
It works by targeting bad bacteria in your mouth and encouraging good bacteria to grow which kills off bad bacteria and yeast that makes your breath smell like death and sweaty feet. Mouthwashes like Listerine kill off ALL bacteria which gives bad bacteria and yeast the opportunity to take hold and edge out the good bacteria that’s needed to maintain healthy flora in your mouth.
Another thing that causes bad breath is being dehydrated. Water only hydrates you so much. You need to eat too. Most of your hydration comes from food. You go into ketosis when you don’t eat and it may be great for staying thin but awful for inspiring people to kiss you.
My guess is that Olivia wasn’t eating much and probably using something like Listerine.
Sorry. Tangent. But a lot of people have bad breath and do the opposite of what they should to fix it.
Ben and Caila’s One-On-One
Ben’s explanation for why he chose Caila for a second one-on-one is that half of their first date was spent with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart. That actually makes sense though I’m sure it was also a tactic on the part of the producers to put pressure on the women who’d hadn’t had one-on-one dates so they would crack. Well, mission f*cking accomplished.
Footage of Ben and Caila’s deep sea fishing date is interspersed with footage of Leah having a complete meltdown while Lauren H. tries unsuccessfully to comfort her.
Leah (sobbing): “There’s no reason I should be here…” You’ll get no argument from me. I have no idea why you’re still here. “…I look like a fool.” Well, I don’t know about THAT. I mean you did get a free trip to the Bahamas after all which is the most the majority of contestants can hope to get out of being on The Bachelor.
For someone who hasn’t said or done much the entire season, I think Leah’s done pretty well for herself.
On the night-time portion of Ben and Caila’s date, Ben is worried about Caila being so bubbly all the time and wonders if there’s anything beneath the surface. Translation: He thinks she might be just a peppy ditz with no substance.
Their conversation goes something like this:
Ben: You smile a lot. Do you ever feel any remotely human emotions?
Caila: You’re putting me on the spot. I’m not in a place to open up. I want to but I can’t.
Caila: I feel like I love you.
Caila: But I’m afraid I might break your heart.
Caila: Sorry. I’m a really confusing person.
Ben: That’s HOT. Have a rose. This has been one of the best dates of my life.
Yes, Ben is turned on by the fact that Caila is utterly confused about her feelings for him. I’m beginning to understand why Ben hasn’t been very successful in the love department.
Back at the Bahama Harem, the group date card arrives. The two women not on it go on the two-on-one.
On the group date:
- Lauren B.
- Lauren H.
!!!!!!!!!!!!! Olivia and Emily are on the two-on-one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here is where the damned producers screwed me out of my top 6. In order to create drama, they decided to put two arch enemies on a two-on-one which means one of them had to go to the top 6 which bumped Lauren H. out of contention because if you look at the remaining contestants not on the date at this point, you have Becca, Lauren B., Amanda, Caila, JoJo, Lauren H., and Leah.
Two of them have to go. Caila already has a rose and all but Lauren H. and Leah are solid. So I knew that if Ben didn’t send both Olivia and Emily home (which I wish he had) Lauren H. would be going home. She would have gone home next week so it’s not that big of a deal but still, despite her movie-Fargo accent, she’s at least a decent prospect for Ben.
The Group Date
Whose brilliant idea was it to send a bunch of bikini-clad 20-somethings to Swine Island to feed hot dogs to a bunch of hungry pigs? And do the pigs actually live there or were they carted out there? If they were carted out there, why couldn’t the producers have sprung for the hot tub too? At least there would have been something salvageable about the situation if there’d been a hot tub.
I think this date could easily have turned into the female version of Lord of the Flies within an hour if it weren’t for the crew and the promise of a safe return to civilization offered by the boat.
Worst. Date. Ever.
Thank God Ben clarified the hot dogs were chicken dogs. I’m not sure the “I” states are ready to embrace cannibalism, even among sub-human species.
JoJo: “This is like a bar in Dallas. Pigs everywhere.” Just wait until you’re The Bachelorette.
Becca: “I crossed my arms across my chest like Ben said to make the pigs go away but it didn’t work!” When she said that, I instantly flashed on the scene from The Parent Trap where the twins tell their would-be stepmother to bang two sticks together on their camping trip to keep the mountain lions at bay. Here’s someone reenacting that scene:
I’m pretty sure crossing your arms across your chest to get hungry pigs to go away is about as effective and that the producers knew it.
Lauren H. complains that she quit her job to meet Ben and he thinks it fine to not hang out with her just because the other girls are hotter. STFU, please. First, you ARE hot. Second, you’re saying all this on your free trip to the Bahamas that’s simultaneously making you a household name. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to decline the invitation to your pity party.
JoJo gives her second audition for next Bachelorette when she and Ben discuss how awkward the group date is. Ben tells her she just gets it. How awkward it is for him and for all the women on group dates. ‘Cause she’s gonna need to be able to understand that when she’s The Bachelorette.
I think the pigs are what really made the date awkward though. I’m pretty sure the women would have been fine hot tubbing with Ben on a yacht with an endless supply of margaritas.
Leah finally gets some alone time with Ben and she complains to him about how she hasn’t had a one-on-one. It’s just not fair! He gives her a hug and asks her to just make the most of the day.
Then Leah runs off to complain to one of the other women: “He doesn’t even know who I am or how amazing I can be! He’s an idiot.”
None of us knows who she is but I think it’s safe to say that any woman who calls the man she’s interested in an idiot in the same whiny breath she claims to be amazing probably isn’t.
Next up: Leah’s Dumbassery, Emily Vs. Olivia, and the Rose Ceremony