See and Say: What does the swan say?
Emily displays her inability to identify water fowl

Bachelor 2016: Episode 7 Recap

Ben and Amanda’s “One-On-One”

For the night time portion of the date, Ben takes Amanda to McDonald’s. One of my friends posted on either Facebook or Twitter that The Bachelor was filming a date inside her McDonald’s last fall. I commented that it must be the princess date.

Seriously? McDonald’s? I can’t remember the last time I went into a McDonald’s to sit down and eat that wasn’t just a pit stop on my way to somewhere more interesting. McDonald’s is a human refueling station and nothing more.

But Ben wants to do something “normal”. So he takes over a McDonald’s in a tiny town in Indiana with a camera crew and a miniature woman who could easily be the lovechild of Minnie Mouse and Tinkerbell and hands out quarter-pounders at the drive-thru. Yeah, nothing strange about that.

After they finish up playing Mr. and Mrs. Ronald McDonald, Amanda and Ben are treated to their own personal carnival in the middle of Warsaw. More normalcy.

If you think about it, the whole date was like an acid trip. I could easily see one or both of them waking up the next morning and wondering if any of it was real.

Btw, Ben screams like a little girl on roller coasters.

Emily and Ben’s One-On-One

This was hands down the most entertaining part of the episode.

We open with this line from Emily as she’s looking at two white, long-necked, feathered creatures (AKA swans) swimming in the lake near the dock: “Don’t laugh. Are those swans?”

I guess Emily forgot her See-and-Say at home. Oh, Emily. How you take me back to my early years. My VERY early years. I thank you for inspiring my featured image this week.

Ben wonders if Emily is ready to be a wife. Oh, you think? No one else is wondering that, Sherlock Higgins. We all KNOW she isn’t ready to be a wife.

Back at the hotel, the other women suspect Emily is going to meet Ben’s parents. My question is why? Why on Earth would they think that Ben would choose Emily, who they all know is about as much threat to Ben’s heart as a blind, armless cupid who’s run out of arrows, to introduce to his parents? (Don’t ask me how an armless cupid could run out of arrows. You’re not supposed to be paying that close attention to my dumb jokes.)

The only reasonable answer is that the producers told them Emily was going to meet Ben’s parents.

If this was an attempt to get us to think for two seconds that Emily had a snowball’s shot in hell of making it to the final four, it failed miserably. Her fate was pretty much sealed for me when she asked about the swans.

And then when she talked Ben’s mom’s ear off about her aspirations to be a Denver Broncos cheerleader and her belief that she was pretty average at everything but was convinced she’d be an above-average mom, I could almost see the blood drain from poor Mrs. Higgins’ face. (I’m also convinced Emily’s bar for average is probably significantly below average. If her IQ tops 90, I’d be very surprised.)

Then when Ben’s mom was in tears when she questioned Ben whether or not he thought Emily was too young to be a wife, that was just classic. I wouldn’t want to meet any of Ben’s other love interests from the show after meeting Emily.

Both Ben and his parents question Emily’s suitability. I think it’s funny that the show is actually posing this as a serious question. As if Ben didn’t already know based on his deep conversations with Emily about such engrossing topics as her skittles and cheeseburger diet that she wasn’t wife material.

The whole thing was just an intelligence-insulting show put on by producers to convince us Ben was actually considering Emily as a serious candidate to be his future wife so imagine my complete lack of surprise when Ben sits her down and let’s her know he doesn’t see her as his wife and it’s time to go home to Mommy and Haley.

Marilyn Monroe Waving Goodbye

Yes, I was thrilled. I cannot tell a lie.

Emily returns to the hotel to let the others know she’s been cut loose and bizarrely, everyone erupts into tears. Um… why? I understand not wanting to jump for joy over another girl’s loss but how did they manage tears? All but one of them is going home in the end. It’s not a perpetual slumber party.

I will say this for Emily. Her exit was graceful. But that’s all I will say for her.

The Rose Ceremony

Ben is conflicted. I think he forgot he was going to have to cut one of the remaining 5 women tonight. It looks like he hasn’t given it much thought. Chris Harrison sits down with Ben to try to help him come to a quick decision. Our host has been on the clock for 5 minutes without someone handing him a paycheck for hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on coke and hookers and he wants to go home ASAP. (I’m kidding… about the coke and hookers. But, hey, it’s Hollywood, people. You never know. There are plenty of people here who aren’t rich and famous who partake of coke and hookers. It’s called Saturday.)

We see shots of Caila feeling like something is wrong and questioning whether she’s going to move on. So this is when I know Becca’s fate has been sealed. Because if Caila was going to get cut, we’d be hearing all of Becca’s fears about whether Ben is really into her or not. This show is so obvious.

Ben says there’s one woman with whom his relationship isn’t quite at the level the others are at and he returns to the rose ceremony to deliver the blow.

Amanda already has a rose.

  1. Lauren
  2. JoJo
  3. Caila

And with that, Becca is blindsided. As Ben walks her away from the rest of the women, she asks him why he did that after she asked him not to. Defensively, Ben says he didn’t know what he was going to do until the last minute.

So was he telling the truth? And did the decision really come down to Caila or Becca? He seemed really out of sorts so I think he was being honest. If Caila got the 4th spot in the final four by a photo finish, does that mean she’ll be going home next week?

I’m very unnerved by Ben’s final four. Something about it seems off. The more I think about it, the less convinced I am that any of them are wife material for Ben. Caila’s confused. JoJo and Ben just don’t seem like a match. She’s a little too strong and too mature for him. Amanda is cute and sweet but strikes me as too young for Ben. And Lauren is an enigma. All I know is that Ben is way more into her than anyone else but I know nothing about her other than that she’s a flight attendant.

And the preview of the final episode definitely leads me to believe that he struggles between his final two. We already know he tells both of them he loves them. So who besides Lauren is Ben in love with? Because I’ve seen zero evidence that Ben has close to the feelings he has for Lauren for anyone else based on the footage presented this season.

Do you guys have any ideas?

See you next week!


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IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.
Chris Harrison’s Blog – I don’t think he actually writes it but his ghost writer is damn clever.

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8 thoughts on “Bachelor 2016: Episode 7 Recap

  1. Your recap was far more interesting than this episode. Yawn, yawn, yawn… because, BORING. I miss Olivia. 😉
    Also– stupid, dumb, obvious McDonalds plug. First, Ben was in a bunch of McDonalds commercials, and now this. Poor Amanda. What an amazing date. I’m sure as a mother of two young children, she’s NEVER been in a McDonalds before.
    Lastly, I’m as flummoxed by the Becca thing as you. Something is indeed “off” with these final four.

    • Hi, Melissa.

      I miss Olivia too. The product placement stuff with McDonald’s went right over my head but I read about it on other blogs after I wrote mine. I forgot Ben had been doing commercials for McDonald’s all season. It makes sense now why they were there. It’s just lame. Amanda went from hanging out in the Bahamas with a shirtless Ben to hanging out in a McDonald’s in Indiana working the drive-thru with him fully-clothed. Not cool.

      And the makeshift carnival did not make up for it. I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in fast food but you get that grease in your clothes and hair. It’s gross. I’m pretty sure Amanda was more interested in taking a shower than going to a carnival.

      It was an amazing date for Amanda’s kids, just not for Amanda.

      I agree this episode was super boring. I had trouble writing about it because there was so very little to sink my teeth into. A couple of the other bloggers had off weeks too. I suspect it was from lack of material.

      I don’t see Ben marrying any of the girls left. I also accidentally read a spoiler when I was posting my links on Reality Steve’s site. It’s okay. Something I predicted early on but I still hate knowing. I feel like I have a Bachelor STD now that I know something is going to happen. I won’t say anything though until the finale.

      I think Ben should bring Becca back. I know she doesn’t open up as easily as the other girls but that should be a good thing. In the real world, we’d call it sane if a woman wasn’t ready to get engaged to a man they’d only spoken to for under 24 hours total over the course of 7 weeks.

      I would be fine with Lauren being the final girl if I knew more about her but I’m not sure if there’s anything TO know about her. Maybe she just doesn’t have much of a personality.

      Thanks for your comment. It’s very much appreciated as always! 🙂

  2. Caila is too young and giggly to be the next Bachelorette, (though I guess they’re all young, even for this franchise.) Please not baby voiced Amanda either (and part of me cynically thinks he was asked to keep her for the drama of a child for hometowns). I guess Becca would be good (3rd time’s a charm?) As for Vanilla Ben (aka Sherlock Higgins – hilarious): Jojo is too extroverted to be with him – also, she dresses kinda slutty IMO. She reminds me a lot of Andi & Kaitlyn: funny chicks you’d want to befriend at a bar. So she’s be a fun B’ette that we’ve seen before.

    I saw chemistry during Lauren B-now-just-Lauren’s 1st date, and thought they would be a great couple (though I doubted she knew any of those Indiana pro bball players any more than we did). Speaking of Laurens: I wasn’t a huge Lauren H fan until her retainer talking head. As much as I’d love to see her on BiP, I hope she finds real love in the real world.

    Count me in for liking the “No, we don’t have WiFi. Talk to each other.” sign at the Warsaw coffee shop. I once saw a date where the guy was playing solitaire under the table. Not nice. I wonder why Vanilla didn’t bring each of that week’s date to his local bar, so his friends could meet all of them.

    I agree there was no way was Emily was even close to “winning”. Imagine taking her out to dinner and she asks for the kids’ menu!?!

    Great post and pic of the See-and-Say! Especially funny was the blind, armless cupid out of arrows.

    • Hi, Jennifer.

      Thanks for the comment.

      I agree with you about Caila and Amanda. I don’t want to see either of their turns as The Bachelorette. JoJo is very much what we’re used to in a Bachelorette. A B’ette needs to be sexy, fun, outgoing, and be willing to kiss a bunch of dudes on national TV. I’d be happy to watch Becca’s season but her virginity presents a stumbling block to her playing tonsil hockey with multiple men she barely knows. I’m fine with the lead not kissing a lot of people but most of Bachelor Nation likes a little soft core porn (VERY soft core) with their biannual viewing of the franchise. (Triannual I guess if you count Paradise which seems like a hotbed for STDs to me.)

      Aren’t the women supposed to dress slutty on this show? I thought it was in their contract. 😛

      How bad does a date have to go that you’d rather play Solitaire on your phone than actually talk to your date? I’m going to go out on a limb and say those two didn’t make it.

      I definitely see chemistry between Ben and Lauren. I just don’t know enough about her to be able to say, “They’re a match made in heaven.” Right now, their relationship seems strictly hormone-based.

      “Lauren B-now-just-Lauren’s” <-Funny! I'm glad you enjoyed my recap and my silly armless cupid joke! 🙂 Thanks for your feedback! Always appreciated!

  3. Nice summary! Is it just me or was Emily flirting with Ben’s dad? Maybe it’s just reflexive for her (and obviously she wasn’t *actually* trying to get with him) but I found it a little gross.
    Keep up the nice work!

    • Hi, Stacy.

      I didn’t notice Emily trying to flirt with Ben’s dad. I was too busy laughing at the fact that Emily’s lack of mental prowess and maturity actually brought his mother to tears.

      Thank you for the compliments! Feedback is always appreciated. 🙂

  4. Becca + Ben. Honestly, I never see this working out. While they talked about the no-sex deal and Ben was “ok” with it. In real life, Ben living without it – I can’t see that working. I read some article about Ben trying to pick up a girl at the bar prior to the Bachelorette where his pick-up line was he studied/minored in human sexuality.

    Caila for Bachelorette. Yeah, I’m not on that bandwagon either, even though she is getting the bubbly, sex panther edit/press. She is confusing and seems too young/naive on camera. I would like to see more of JoJo finding love.

    • Hey, Leilani.

      Thanks for the comment.

      I hadn’t heard the story of Ben trying to pick up a girl at a bar using that line. There is a lot of gossip floating around about the people on these shows so I have to take it with a grain of salt but if he said it, it seems kind of sleazy. I guess it depends on the delivery but I probably wouldn’t be amused by such a pickup line.

      As for Becca and Ben, I guess I just thought she was the only one who was possibly ready for the kind of commitment Ben seems to be looking for. I didn’t see a lot of intense passion between them either but Becca seemed to really like him and with the editing, I could see their connection being hidden from us. But I guess there really wasn’t anything there.

      I’m much more interested in seeing a season with JoJo than with Caila. Caila is too ditzy for my tastes. I want to see someone with some common sense as a lead.

      I appreciate your feedback! Thank you! 🙂

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