Bachelorette 2016 Recap: Episode 6
Hi Bachelor Nation.
I’m so grateful to you guys for your comments on my blog that I put out last Sunday. It really means the world to me. I can understand why some people don’t comment on blogs about silly shows like this because it’s it’s embarrassing. People seem to take you a little less seriously when they find out you watch bad reality television.
It’s funny because on Facebook all I write about is super intellectual stuff but I’m more well-known for writing about this show which would definitely get my nerd card revoked if there were actually such a thing as a nerd society. But don’t be embarrassed, guys. We all have our guilty pleasures.
You guys are all awesome regardless of whether or not you comment.
I answered all of your comments so if you’re not subscribed to the comments, you can go back and visit last week’s recap.
My DVR didn’t record Monday night because there was a huge power outage in the San Fernando Valley where I live. But the power came back on to catch the last 15 minutes of the show. So I watched it and my mind was blown to see that just six guys remained and that Wells, someone I thought was definitely going to the final final four, was gone. My heart sank when I saw Wells was gone because that probably means the next Bachelor is going to be a dead bore or Jordan whose motivations for being on this show I continue to question. Do we really want to watch his season when it seems likely that he went on the show just to get his own season? I’m not sure that I want to.
But I definitely don’t want to watch a Chase season or a James Taylor season. There is just nothing sexy about James Taylor. He’s a very nice guy and I like him a lot but I do not want to see a bunch of girls competing over him when that’s not a feasible scenario in the real world. It would just never happen. And he’s too nice. It’s boring. He’s boring.
So now I’m gonna have to watch the show online to see what I missed.
Jojo and her band of bro-jos fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I’m jealous.
Chris Harrison announces there’s going to be a second two-on-one date. I wonder who it’s going to be. Obviously, at least Wells or Derek is going home on the two-on-one because they certainly weren’t at the rose ceremony.
A one-on-one date card arrives: “Wells, Besame muchacho.” Translation: Kiss Me Boy.
Watching Jojo and Wells walk around the streets of Buenos Aires is painful. These two are so obviously not a match. I’m guessing he’s getting the axe at the end of the date or before. Too bad. Wells is much more interesting than any of the other guys left. But he and Jojo just have so little chemistry that they couldn’t fake it another 3 episodes to get Wells to the final four.
Or maybe ABC didn’t want him in the final four. I have a feeling Wells was over the shenanigans of reality TV around day 2 of filming. It’s really challenging to be smart and take this way of meeting one’s soulmate seriously despite some success in recent years.
Wells and Jojo go to a theater where a show called Fuerza Bruta is playing (Brute Force). I don’t understand the appeal of the show. But I also don’t get performance “art” in general. How is watching people slide around in water on Plexiglas and then watching them get fake shot at while running on a conveyor belt, art or even remotely entertaining?
Oh, did that gif seem disconnected from the context of my article? That was just performance art. It’s supposed to make you think but you don’t actually have a choice in the matter since you can’t help but think when something makes no f*cking sense. It’s like calling it charity when you give your wallet to a thief who’s holding a gun to your head.
Wells says he wants his kiss with Jojo to be “once-in-a-lifetime” and I think there’s more truth to that than he realizes. It’s literally the only time in their lives Jojo and Wells are going to kiss.
Poor Wells’ only option to kiss Jojo is while they’re sloshing around on the Plexiglas platform because getting fake shot while running on a conveyor belt doesn’t exactly scream “romance”. I feel like the producers set Wells up to fail. I don’t know why but I don’t have another explanation. The date was simply not conducive to kissing.
Back at the hotel, a date card arrives (“Living the Vida Boca” – the “mouth” life???)
So Chase and Derek will be on the two-on-one.
On the night portion of Jojo and Wells’ date, Wells seems skeptical of the idea of finding fairy-tale love and Jojo is 100% on board for the fantasy. Jojo is unimpressed by Wells’ realistic attitude toward relationships.
Pro-tip for dudes: Don’t tell a girl on your first date that you think all romantic relationships devolve into friendship over time or you won’t get a second one. Be pragmatic on your own time.
I do believe in true love but I don’t believe it’s easy. The happily ever after part is really the beginning of the story, not the end. But we’ve been conned by society into believing that our lives will fall magically into place once we meet the person of our dreams and we’ll never have to deal with hardship again. Being with someone you love and who loves you back just makes it easier to deal with hardship whether it’s external to your relationship or internal.
I don’t think either Wells or Jojo is completely realistic about love. The truth lies somewhere in the middle of their perspectives. But whatever the case may be, Wells is headed back to the northern hemisphere.
Next: The Group Date, The Two-On-One, and The Rose Ceremony