The Reign of Lee

Bachelorette 2017 – Episode 4 5 6 Recap

Episode 6

…results in exactly f*cking nothing as it usually does.

The Lee and Kenny drama comes to an end without the bloodshed we’ve been teased with all season. Well, that’s a shock.

Rachel says she isn’t ready to give Kenny the rose but she’s definitely ready to give Lee the boot. She and Kenny walk to the helicopter to leave Lee stranded in the icy woods but it’s not enough for Kenny. He needs to have the last word.

He leaves Rachel in the helicopter and goes back to talk to Lee.

Face desk - when face palm just don't cut it

Rachel is not amused.

And what exactly was this monumental message Kenny needed to impart to Lee? That somewhere deep inside of Lee, there’s a decent Lee and someday it will come out?

No, Kenny. There is no decent Lee. He doesn’t even care that Rachel cut him. He just wanted to get on TV and f*ck with people and that’s exactly what he got. So Lee wins despite losing and you lose despite winning.

head_bang_desk_why

It was all so unnecessary.

Despite Rachel’s frustration with Kenny, she likes him and trusts him enough to give him another chance. He eventually gets the date rose.

Rose Ceremony

Kenny, Bryan, and Will have roses.

  1. Dean
  2. Eric
  3. Peter
  4. Alex
  5. Adam
  6. Matt

Josiah and Anthony go home. Josiah’s exit speech is hilarious and actually pretty accurate in questioning how Rachel thinks she’s ever gonna make it with Adam or Matt. I knew he was going home though after his bizarre interaction with Rachel on the group date.

What really mystifies me is how the hell Anthony went home before Adam or Matt. Adam and Matt are filler. They’ve had no airtime and have played no roles in the season’s storylines. And not only do they make it to the final 9, unseating Anthony who was actually a respectable option for Rachel, but they also make it to final 6, unseating Kenny, Alex, and Will. Seriously, WILL? Will was probably the best option Rachel had and HE goes home before Matt and Adam???

I seriously question Rachel’s judgment when it comes to men.

Copenhagen

Rachel does an advertisement for the hotel they’re staying in in Copenhagen by letting us know that it has a view of the castle that inspired Shakespeare to write Hamlet.

Fascinating. I just booked my reservation. 🙄

Eric’s One-On-One
(AKA You can quit your bitching.)

“I’m cOPEN to love. – Rachel”

Eric’s insecurities magically dissipate when he is finally granted the one-on-one he’s been complaining about not getting since he set foot in the Bachelor mansion. Insecurities like his will never go away permanently though. He will always need more and more and more acknowledgement and reassurance until he grows the f*ck up and seeks therapy.

Literally, the only interesting thing that happens on the date is that Eric and Rachel get flashed by a Danish streaker while hot tubbing on the main canal that runs through Copenhagen.

I have nothing else to report about this date other than that I have no idea what Rachel sees in Eric. He is “nice” but nothing more.

Next Up: Episode 6 part 2

6 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2017 – Episode 4 5 6 Recap

  1. BEST RECAP EVER!!!! I laughed so hard reading this that I had to read it a second time and I am still laughing. Emily, your sense of humor is priceless!! This was so worth the wait. I’m grateful you took the time to write it. Thanks for providing me with my laughter therapy!

    • Hi, Marla.

      Thanks so much for your feedback and support. I’m glad I could provide you with laughter therapy!

      🙂

  2. I agree with Maria! This recap was one of your very BEST!!! Thanks for continuing to write. I don’t mind waiting to be entertained! Actually recapping a couple episodes at once makes a lot of sense, especially this season when there have been more than a couple episodes with not much happening! You had some great lines in there Emily. Your take on Lee had me laughing. His hair was way too much. I’m not certain that Bryan is as sincere & invested as Rachel but I’m hoping I’m wrong. She really didn’t have the most interesting group of guys but I’m still curious to see how it all plays out.

    • Hey, Julie.

      Sorry for the delayed response. I hope you subscribe to the comments or you’ll never see this.

      I guess we know now how the season turned out. I still don’t trust Bryan but I’m hoping I’m wrong since I want Rachel to be happy.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the recap. Thank you so much for your continued feedback and support! I really appreciate it.

      🙂

  3. I am pretty sure you covered it all and for the first time in weeks I enjoyed this very boring season, love Rachel, but I agree that she has lousy taste in men. Just like Marla and Julie I love your humor. You brought on the laughter. So worth the wait. Thank you!

    • Hey, Vicki.

      I’m glad the recap was worth the wait. Sorry for the delayed response. I’ve been running out of time every day for the last couple of months.

      I’m glad I could make the season a little better for you. For me, the most fascinating part was the last episode. If only the whole season had been that compelling.

      Thank you for your feedback and support!

      🙂

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