Bryan Meets the Family
Bryan and Rachel are wearing their matching Breitling watches as they leave the hotel to meet her family.
Peter doesn’t mince words once Bryan is gone. He he says Bryan has Miami swagger and Miami is the city of “fake boobs, fake asses, and fake cheeks.”
Burn! I wondered if Bryan’s cheekbones were real because they’re ridiculous (not in a good way) but I figured he was just a freak. Now I want to know what he looked like before.
First, Rachel introduces Bryan to her friends who convinced her to go on The Bachelor. Rachel tells them she thought Bryan was a douche bag on night one because of his charm.
I won’t say Bryan is the douchiest d-bag in the world but he’s definitely on the douche bag spectrum. I’m not sure what he’s done since night one that should convince anyone otherwise.
Next, Rachel’s family interrogates Bryan for a couple of hours after he says things like “I felt like she was my girlfriend on night one” and “I love your family already”. No one but Rachel is buying what Bryan is selling.
Mrs. Lindsay asks where his loyalty will lie if his wife and his mother butt heads.
What Rachel hears is: With my wife. Of course.
What everyone else hears is: Uhhh… I’d like to phone a friend. *pulls out his phone and dials*… Hello? Mom? Yeah, I need to know where my loyalty should lie if you and my future wife have an argument. *unintelligible string of Spanish expletives issues forth from the phone while Bryan cowers in terror*
Which is why Mrs. Lindsay asks the question again at lunch. I can’t for the life of me figure out why Bryan got up from the table. My guess is that, at some point, he had to use the restroom and the editors pieced it together so it looked like he was rude and openly dodged the question.
In spite of Bryan’s sketchiness, Rachel’s mother ultimately gives him permission to propose to Rachel because she trusts Rachel
not to throw her life away on a fast-talking, silver-tongued white devil.
Spain – Fantasy Suites
Eric’s date is first. It’s boring.
Rachel tells him she needs someone who’s self-aware and secure. So… not Eric?
She says she learned a lot about him from meeting his family and asks what he learned about her from meeting her family.
That answer plus his admission that he’s in love with Rachel earns Eric a ticket to the fantasy suite.
I can’t believe how low the bar’s been set this season.
Peter’s Fantasy Suite Date
Raquel and Pedro visit a vineyard and are gifted their own wine cellar by the owner. Cool.
Okay, now onto the juicy stuff.
Rachel and Peter are at odds over getting engaged. Rachel doesn’t want to leave the show without bling on her finger and Peter doesn’t want to propose unless he’s certain he wants to marry her.
She doesn’t want to leave the show with a boyfriend and he considers engagement to be synonymous with marriage.
On the one hand, I respect Peter for sticking to his principles. On the other, what did he think would happen if he went on the show and was the last man standing? Did he not know there was an engagement at the end of it?
I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow night but I pray that Peter and Rachel work it out because Eric and Bryan just aren’t good enough for her. But if she doesn’t choose Peter, he’ll probably be the next Bachelor.
I saw some of the guys who will be on BIP this summer and I noticed Ben Z. from Jojo’s season is going to be on. He was someone I thought would go much further than he did and I could see him potentially transitioning from Paradise to The Bachelor if Peter and Rachel are together.
I don’t think anyone else on Rachel’s season is well-liked enough to be The Bachelor. Anthony and Will are cool but I don’t know if anyone else but me would be interested in seeing them as a Bachelor. They didn’t get enough airtime.
The Men Tell All
This was probably the most entertaining episode of the season but I’m not going to cover it because it was funny and it’s hard to make something that’s already funny funnier.
I will talk about the racist Tweet that Lee put out though.
This is what he tweeted: “What’s the difference between the NAACP and the KKK? One has a sense of shame to cover their racist a— faces.”
There is no excuse for that shit and I don’t buy his apology for one second. Lee is a conniving little sociopath and I have no patience for his bullsh*t. I hope we never have to see his face again.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for today. I may put out a brief statement about the finale but I probably won’t cover it unless something unexpected happens.
I am probably not going to cover BIP this year unless it’s interesting. Covering Rachel’s season has been torture because there just hasn’t been that much material to work with.
I haven’t decided whether to cover The Bachelor yet because I don’t know who it is. I think Nick may have ruined me for all future seasons of this franchise.
If this does turn out to be my last post, I just want to let you all know how much I’ve appreciated all of your feedback and support. I’ve met a lot of cool people through this blog and for that I am grateful.
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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:
All the Pretty Pandas – Sharleen maintains two blogs. This one is more in-depth than the Flare blog and also gives you an inside look at the fashion on the show. If you’re interested in the looks the women wear on the show, definitely check it out.
Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese.
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.