Ben and Caila's special bnch
Ben and Caila's Special Bench

Bachelor 2016: Episode 8 Recap

Bachelor 2016 Episode 8: Hometowns

I was super excited to get 4 comments on my recap last week. And I got two Ask Emily questions! I’m feeling the love.

Feeling loved emoji

I promised to post the first Ask Emily question last week but I ran out of time so I’ll publish both of them this week.

I accidentally read a spoiler last week and now I feel icky like I have a Bachelor STD. I don’t know who is going to be the one left standing but I know something else and so I feel I can no longer make untainted predictions. My final prediction after last night’s episode is that Caila and Lauren will be the final two which is not affected by the spoiler I saw. I didn’t see Caila making it as far as she has. I have no idea what Ben sees in her but I guess I’ve been willfully ignoring the fact that she and Ben have a lot of chemistry because I just don’t like her.

Sorry, Caila:

I don't like you, Caila

I was not surprised to see Amanda go home but it was kind of f*cked up to bring her to hometowns if Ben wasn’t really serious about her. I know these leads know by the time they get to hometowns who just isn’t it for them. It was totally unnecessary to drag Amanda’s kids into the situation just to create the drama of watching Ben deal with screaming children.

Alright, let’s get to the recap.

Amanda’s Hometown: Laguna Beach, CA

Amanda and Ben meet on the beach.

Amanda is wearing something that I think is supposed to be a shirt but it looks more like someone took a pair of scissors to a turtleneck to try to sexy it up and just went way too far. As a result, Amanda spends the majority of the day yanking the damn thing up to prevent a wardrobe malfunction.

I don’t know what she was thinking wearing that top. Maybe she was hoping showing off her boobs would distract Ben from the potentiality of becoming an insta-dad? Unfortunately, Amanda doesn’t have enough going on in the chestal region to accomplish such a feat.

The kids arrive on the beach. Both girls are super shy to meet Ben. I mistook them for twins in the preview a couple weeks back because they’re wearing the same clothes and hairstyle and the clip they showed of them was from the back.

Unsurprisingly, the girls take to Ben like ducks to water. Anyone else find watching Ben and Amanda’s kids playing with streamers and making sand octopi tedious? And for Ben, it’s only day one.

Annoying kids

Ben: “After seeing Amanda with her kids, my feelings for her are stronger than ever.”

Obviously, not strong enough to knock boots with her in a fantasy suite. Maybe the Bachelor producers had an attack of conscience and decided to cut the single mom before Ben had the chance to ruin her reputation on national TV and cut her afterward? Mmmm… Nahhhhh. The producers don’t have consciences (or souls or hearts).

We’re treated to Amanda’s kids screaming their heads off in the car on the way to Amanda’s house due to a very likely long and exhausting day for them. Ben is a good sport about it but screaming children are a serious boner killer.

We meet Amanda’s parents and sister. Dad is very protective. Mom wonders if Ben is too young to take on the responsibility of raising two kids. Uh… last time I checked, Ben was 26 and Amanda was 24. So Amanda isn’t too young but Ben is? What kind of new fangled math are they doing?

How do you make 10 by adding 8 +5?
Actual Common Core Math Question

Ben and Amanda put screaming daughter one to bed. Ben’s looking a little piqued. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

I’m not going to cover the rest of the boring details of Amanda’s hometown. If you watched the show, you saw it. I’ll sum it up in a few words:

Amanda’s parents: We’re really protective of our daughter. Are you ready to be a dad even though it will suck the life out of you and you’ll probably never be able to do anything you want with your life for the next 18 years?

Amanda: I can definitely see myself falling in love with Ben after he met my kids. He has to love my kids. I don’t even care if he loves me. I just really need someone to help me change diapers.

Ben: Yeah, the kids are great. Amanda’s great. If I see a future with Amanda, I’d definitely want to take over the role of stepdad (but I don’t so peace out, muthaf*ckas!).

I saw the Bachelor reaper coming for Amanda after her goodbye kiss with Ben though. What the hell was that? It seemed like Ben forgot he was supposed to be really into her and then remembered right before he was about to hop in the getaway van to run as fast and as far away from fatherhood as he possibly could.

Lauren’s Hometown: Portland, Oregon

Lauren’s already in love with Ben but she hasn’t told him yet. She’s waiting til Ben meets her family.

Fun (according to Lauren) fact! Portland is the city of roses. I don’t think Lauren knows what fun is.

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Lauren takes Ben to eat junkie catering truck food and then to a “whiskey library”.

Points Amanda: -2

Points Lauren: +100

Lauren and Ben go to meet Lauren’s “fam” which includes Lauren’s parents, hot sister, and two brothers.

Hot sister pulls Ben aside and grills him (paraphrased): “How do I know you’re not saying the same sappy BS to every one of your other girlfriends’ families to get their approval to bang their precious daughters in the fantasy suites next week?”

Ben (tears up): “There’s something about your sister… I feel really lucky.”

Bravo, Ben! I didn’t even see you take the Visine out of your pocket. Hot sister is completely buying this.

Hot sister pulls Lauren aside: “What makes Ben different?”

Lauren: “I feel like Ben is my person. I feel like I was meant to meet Ben.”

Lauren is as good at sneaking Visine as Ben is. More waterworks.

I’m kidding. Ben and Lauren obviously have a very strong connection to have both been brought to tears at the thought of having found each other. Having recently found true love, I can say this is one of the signs. It’s humbling and very emotional.

I’m still not sure who Lauren is but she may very well be Ben’s person. She’s definitely getting the true love edit. Three more weeks til we find out.

Lauren’s father is worried about his baby “LoLo” getting hurt. He grills Ben and Lauren about the short amount of time they’ve known each other and the fact that Ben is still involved with three other women. As a result, LoLo chickens out on telling Ben she loves him.

Caila’s Hometown Date: Hudson, Ohio

Ben feels like his relationship with Caila is the deepest of all of his relationships.

Jon Stewart Double Take

WHAT?!?!

How is Caila and Ben’s relationship the “deepest”? We are talking about the same girl who’s afraid she won’t be able to fall in love with Ben and might break his heart but is simultaneously really into him, right? The same girl who admitted she’s a really confusing person? Oy, Ben. You’ve fallen victim to one of the classic blunders of youth: mistaking the angst you feel over not being able to attain the unattainable for love.

Alright, if this relationship is SOOOO deep, let’s see some evidence.

Caila and Ben meet up in a park where Caila takes Ben to a special bench. Yup. A special bench. That’s the extent of Caila’s roots.

Caila’s dad is the CEO of a toy company so the pair leaves the magical bench to go to a factory to design and build a toy home. Amanda’s kids would have LOVED this date. Ben is a good sport but he was probably thinking, “Really? First I had to spend a day at the beach chasing Amanda’s non-verbal children around and now I have to build a Barbie dream house with you? It’s a good thing you’re so confusing to keep me distracted from how dumb this date is.”

After Ben and Caila put the final touches on their PVC saturated dream house, they reenact the following scene from An Officer and a Gentleman:

Way to go, Bachelor producers! Way to go! I think some of the younger members of Bachelor Nation may not have caught the reference. You’re welcome, kids.

Next, Ben and Caila go to meet her family.

Caila’s mom is Filipino and introduces Ben to the culture through food. Caila’s father let’s Ben know that marrying a Filipino woman comes with a whole Filipino community which he claims has been one of the best parts of his marriage to Caila’s mom.

So basically if Ben marries Caila, there’s gonna be a whole lot of people all up in their bidness the rest of their lives.

That's so great!

The rest of the hometown is pretty similar to the others. Caila’s mom grills Ben about what he thinks is special about Caila. Caila’s dad grills Caila about not being the only woman in the situation. Yada, yada, yada…

Caila, like Lauren, believes Ben is the one.

Eek! Who’s right? Who’s delusional? It’s going to be a nail biter. However, Ben didn’t talk about Caila the way he talked about Lauren. No tears. But are we being led down the primrose path? Everything points to Lauren being the final girl but we’ve been misled before.

And I still have yet to see sufficient evidence to back up Ben’s claim that his relationship with Caila is the deepest.

Next up: JoJo’s Hometown and The Rose Ceremony

[jetpack-related-posts]

16 thoughts on “Bachelor 2016: Episode 8 Recap

  1. Very funny blog Emily! I especially loved the cat pictures getting increasingly larger during the discussion of the brothers!

  2. Grr.. I hate spoilers! Found your link at Sharleen’s Flare recap… some funny stuff there. Nice of you to post links to other recaps too.

    As a guy, I can definitely understand Ben’s attraction to Caila. She’s too smart (and rich) for him though, it’ll never work. But she’s going to blow her audition for Bachelorette if she ends up in final two — there won’t be time enough to film the season if she makes it that far.

    • Hi, Max.

      I hate spoilers too! It takes all the fun out of the show.

      I post links to other blogs because I know a lot of people will read more than one blog so having the links in a central location makes it convenient for my readers and it also helps my search engine rankings.

      I can see why a guy might like Caila. She’s very cute and bubbly. But I’m at a loss as to why you think Caila is too smart and too rich for Ben. I don’t view her as being particularly bright (though, admittedly, my standards are very high. Sharleen Joynt = bright in my book). Her family seems to be well off based on the fact that her dad owns a toy factory but she works in software sales, same as Ben.

      As a guy, you might pick up on things that I don’t though.

      I really do not want to see her as the next Bachelorette and I really haven’t seen her doing much auditioning for the role. So far, from the edit, JoJo seems to be doing all the auditioning. That Chad stunt wasn’t for nothing 😉

      We’ll see what happens though.

      Thanks for the comment and the feedback! 🙂

  3. Emily – I’m SO glad I found your blog (I read reality steve and saw your link in the comments a while back.) I really only read him, Sharleen and now you.
    Thanks for the laughs this morning!

    • Hey, Kim!

      I’m honored that I’m lumped in with Steve and Sharleen. I enjoy them both.

      You’re welcome for the laughs! Thank you for reading my blog! 🙂

  4. Oh my goodness, I laughed my a** off, you have some wit gurl. Unfortunately I find myself wondering how much of this entire episode is a put-up job. I say half. The look on Joelle’s face mid ex-letter is classic, but not as much as her Mom going bottom’s up, no pun intended. Yeah the creepy, weird, angry brothers were a hoot, but hey….they love them some Ben too. Oh this is gonna be good……………

    • Hi, Chad Just Kiddin’.

      I’m glad I made you laugh. I aim to entertain 😀

      I’m with you. At least half the episode was completely staged.

      I must have looked down at my computer when the mom took a swig of wine. Everyone is talking about it and it didn’t register with me. Maybe ’cause the brothers’ antics had me captivated.

      Thank you for the comment! It’s very much appreciated. 🙂

  5. Hilarious episode and recap!

    Amanda: that shirt? What the hell? We’ve all seen half-sleeves but none that start at the elbow. And the back was completely open. From the start of the season I expected the producers would want squeaky-voiced Amanda to make it to hometowns for the drama of meeting little kids, though I think he genuinely liked her. However, I did not think at any point he was ready to become an insta-dad. As for why he didn’t let her go before the rose ceremony – um, because he isn’t allowed to?

    Lauren: he really does look at her a different way than the others. They’d make a great couple. Thought his tears with hot sister were genuine. Was she drinking wine at the whiskey library or whiskey in a wine glass?

    Caila: at first I thought she had a normal shirt on until I saw it was 6″ shorter in the front. Their date was cute – it gave them something to do other than force conversation and make out. This girl has some gorgeous hair! And her mom was so cute! If she is next B’ette maybe her Filipino family/community can be part of her journey.

    Jojo: My hubby watched from this point on (rare for him) but must have a sense of humor similar to yours because he noted all Chads were douches. And come on that she didn’t recognize Chad’s handwriting (she’s prob never seen Ben’s but still…) Imagine if she took him back and sent Ben away? We thought for sure she’d be going home this week. Her mom chugging straight from the bottle was gold! Hubby noticed that and her plastic surgery, noting “Jojo had a boob job – plastic surgery runs in their family.” And the younger of the 2 older brothers looked so familiar to me! I still can’t stop thinking about where I have seen him before. How funny one your commenters listed his name was “Chad (just kiddin’)”.

    The bit at the end was hilariously awkward. Ben should have just laughed Lauren’s little brothers off. When he said he wouldn’t degrade her my hubby immediately said “so, not doggie-style”. See, you have the same minds 🙂

    Lauren FTW and Caila and Jojo for B’ette. Have them both for the entire season: the sweet, giggly too-young-to-get-married girl and the slutty-dressing, probably still not over Chad lady.

    I’ve used my real name on this site but I also write recaps under the name Little Lisa at http://www.trashtalktv.com/. Someone else does the Bachelor, but I’m on my third show (The Amazing Race) and enjoy writing them. I see no harm with recappers sharing their sites – I found you through Pretty Pandas and found IHGB and the Austin guy through you.

    Can’t wait for the finale – I am spoiler free and loving it!

    • Hey, Jennifer.

      I wondered if you were a writer based on some of your previous comments. You should start your own blog about The Bachelor since you obviously have a lot to say about it. It’s real easy to set one up through WordPress or Tumblr but I recommend Tumblr since you’ll be able to monetize if you get popular enough. You can monetize a WordPress blog too but it’s a little more complicated.

      WordPress.com is the easiest to use but you can’t monetize it. I have a WordPress.org site which means I have my own host and have installed WordPress myself. I have a background in web programming and know a lot about the internet though so it was pretty easy for me to set this site up.

      LMK if you start a Bachelor/ette blog and I’ll do a link exchange with you. (You link to me and I link back to you – it helps us both.) I can also give you guidance on how to set it up if you need it.

      Yeah, Amanda’s shirt was ridiculous. I did not understand the construction at all.

      I assumed Lauren was drinking whiskey at the whiskey bar but it could have been water or apple juice if they were just staging the scene. Drinking the amount of whiskey required to make it through the number of takes they probably took would likely have rendered her unconscious by the time they got to her parents’ house.

      I didn’t notice Caila’s shirt. I usually don’t notice what anyone is wearing because I’m not very fashion-conscious but Amanda’s shirt just looked so uncomfortable and weird that it was one of the rare times I did notice.

      Caila has Disney princess hair. She always looks ready to star in a Pantene commercial. I wish I had hair like that.

      Well, if Caila does become B’ette I pray there are a bunch of nosy people getting up in her business because I find Caila utterly un-fascinating. The show’s going to have to make up for it by being a train wreck in order for me to not be bored out of my mind!

      I have kind of a guy’s sense of humor sometimes ’cause I was raised by my dad so I can be very Beavis-and-Butthead. That could be why your hubby and I had similar reactions to those moments in the show. But also, great minds, right? 😛

      You recognized the brother because he was on a show called “Ready for Love”. http://www.vulture.com/2016/02/bachelor-jojo-brother-ben-patton-ready-for-love.html

      I’m not sure I could handle another 2 B’ette season. The only person who doesn’t completely annoy me is JoJo so my vote is for her. I think the Chad thing was part of her audition tape. She showed healthy behavior in the midst of a f*cked up situation which all B’ettes need to display. Think about it: why did they set all that up if it wasn’t to cast JoJo in a certain light? And her super over-protective yet thoroughly entertaining family? Think Andi and Des.

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with recappers sharing their sites either as long as they’re linking to related content. It’s actually beneficial for the search engine rankings of the blogs you post your links on. You write for The Amazing Race so it would benefit you to post your links on other blogs that cover it and to link back to them. It’s a search engine thing.

      I’m glad you found me! I always appreciate your comments. Also glad I was able to point you to IHGB and SGIA.

      What I saw was a glimpse of a spoiler and I have reason to believe now that I might have misinterpreted what I saw so I now feel in the dark again which is where I like to be when it comes to this show.

      Thanks for your great comment! 🙂

    • Hey, Cynthia.

      It might have been Amanda’s ex that was abusive. I get JoJo and Amanda mixed up because they look very similar to me. All I know is one of them had a one-on-one one week and said their ex was a cheater and the next week, the other said their ex was a cheater AND an abuser. I can’t remember if the abuse was physical or verbal. Being a survivor of domestic violence, I consider both to be forms of abuse.

      I’m glad you like my blog so much you want me to write more. Usually I do write more but now that the weirdos are gone, there’s not enough material to work with to make the blog my standard length.

      Hopefully, the fantasy suites will provide more blog fodder.

      Thank you for your comment! I really appreciate it! 🙂

  6. Great recap of this week. I also do not find Caila attractive, something about her rubs me as she is fake. reminds me of the last season girl Brit. puke so glad Brit did not become the b-ette and I hope I never see Calia again after this season, dont even want to see her in paradise. fake fake fake.
    Jo Jo seems the most mature of the bunch and the best of the remainders. I didnt some research and found out Lauren is a party animal and loves to drink booze and live it up… If he picks her I dont see it lasting she still has to go through about 10 more men before she is ready to settle down… Like a M. Money… will likely find a bum at age 36 and call it the day

    • Hey, Cy.

      Yeah, Caila seems too peppy to be real. I’m not a fan of people who are always peppy. It makes me think they have no sense of reality. Life is good and bad, not just good all the time. I don’t see Caila going to Paradise but you never know.

      I agree with you about JoJo.

      That’s funny about Lauren. She doesn’t seem like the type at all. I didn’t get a bad vibe from her but I also am not sure she or Ben is ready for marriage. They’re both really young.

      Hey, now! You can find a decent guy after 36. You just have to be a decent gal. Life doesn’t end in your 30s. I hadn’t heard Michelle Money got together with someone. Last I heard, she was dating Cody. They’re not still a thing are they?

      Thanks for your comment! Always appreciated! 🙂

Leave a Comment

captcha

Please enter the CAPTCHA text