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Bachelorette 2017 Finale

Hi, everyone.

I’m writing right after watching the finale because I want to get everything out while I’m still in the throes of the emotion that seeing the ending caused.

I have never said this before about a lead’s choice in the end but I genuinely believe that Rachel chose the wrong person. Most of the time if I don’t agree with the choice, I think to myself, “Well, there just must have been something we didn’t see.”

Not this time.

Bryan and Rachel may have been all smiles tonight but let’s not forget that they still don’t know each other that well. Rachel got her ring but did she get it from the person she’s supposed to spend the rest of her life with? Whether she’s meant to be with Peter or someone else, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t think Bryan is the one.

Rachel says that in the past she has chosen complicated relationships for herself. Maybe she feels like her relationship with Bryan isn’t complicated but the only reason it feels that way is because they’re still in the honeymoon phase.

All relationships are complicated. Talking things through and going through the hard part of having to be honest with ourselves and our partner about who we are and what we need is difficult but also a key part of being in an adult relationship.

I never saw any inkling of an adult relationship between Bryan and Rachel. I would rather have seen Rachel end up with Eric (who impressed the sh*t out of me in the end and completely changed my opinion of him) than see her end up with a guy who she’s never faced a challenge with and is so infatuated with the idea of her and the ridiculous fairy tale he’s built up in his head of meeting his true love on TV (because destiny) that he can’t seem to see that he will have to face hardships in this or any other relationship. I’m not even sure if he can handle hardship in relationships.

Someone wise once said that when you are deciding who to marry, don’t marry the person who things are great with when things are great. Marry the person you want to be in the trenches with when sh*t gets real.

The relationship with Peter was real from the beginning. He was honest and genuine. He didn’t bullsh*t her. Yes, the relationship was complicated but it was also something that had the potential to go the distance.

Their “breakup” was the most genuine emotional moment I have ever seen on this franchise and I would bet any amount of money that if Peter had WANTED to get down on one knee the way that Rachel required, they would be together.

In my opinion, Rachel demanded too much. Peter loved Rachel enough that he was willing to violate his principles and overlook his doubts and fears in order to have the chance to love her and see where they could go together in life. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make because losing her was NOT a sacrifice he wanted to make.

But she wanted the impossible. She wanted him to know after spending a handful of hours with her that she was the one he was meant to be with for the rest of his life. She mentioned a previous relationship that had lasted 5 years that she thought was leading to marriage and ended up not and she didn’t want to go through that again.

Yeah, after 5 years of hemming and hawing, I could see not wanting to go through that again. But Peter only had maybe 48 hours of alone time with her and couldn’t possibly know that Rachel was the person he wanted to commit to forever. That’s why so many of the engagements on this show end well before marriage is really on the table. It’s as if she was forcing him to make up for what her ex had done and that isn’t fair.

Does she honestly think Bryan knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? He doesn’t. He’s just so self-deluded that he has blind faith that she is the woman of his dreams without really looking inward to see if that’s realistic. His track record on this front isn’t great considering that the last relationship he got involved in too quickly ended just as quickly. Bryan is impulsive and his judgment is questionable.

Regrettably, I think Rachel is going to find out the hard way that while it may be a bad idea to wait too long to get engaged, it’s also a bad idea to force an engagement too quickly.

I know Peter took back his words but I don’t think he was wrong when he implied that Rachel would have an amazing life with him and a mediocre life with Bryan. Actually, I think she won’t have much of a life with Bryan at all because I think they’ll break up within a year.

I cried watching Peter and Rachel decide to break up over something so petty. In different ways, they were both looking for certainty. Peter wanted to be certain that Rachel was the one and Rachel wanted to be certain that Peter was willing to commit to her forever.

After countless heartbreaks and setbacks in my life, I can say there is no such thing as certainty and an engagement on this show is about as far from certain as one can get. All you can do is love someone and hope for the best. The majority of relationships don’t last forever and that’s okay. Relationships teach us who we are and help us cope with the difficulties we face in life. I don’t view them as an end goal in and of themselves as so many do in our culture.

I want to address a couple of things that showed up in the comments over the past couple of days. (I will respond to all the comments. I just haven’t been able to take the time to respond yet but I read them all and appreciate all of the feedback I’ve received.)

Jaime said that she didn’t know if Peter could realistically be The Bachelor given the fact that this process is very quick. I meant to address that in my last blog post but forgot. Yes, I agree. I don’t think Peter can be The Bachelor if he’s going to have the same qualms he did on Rachel’s season about getting engaged quickly. I also think Peter is still in love with Rachel.

Melissa mentioned that there are two schools of thought about Peter: 1) That he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread or 2) He’s conniving and manipulative and pretended to be into Rachel to get The Bachelor gig.

To anyone in the second group, do you really believe what you saw last night was all an act? That the split between Peter and Rachel wasn’t agonizing for both of them and that there wasn’t real love between them?

People don’t have tears streaming down their faces whispering to each other “I love you” while kissing each other as if their lives depended on it as they’re saying goodbye when it’s not real. If Peter was acting, give that man an Emmy. That’s the best f*cking performance I’ve ever seen on television.

AND Peter is so well-liked by Bachelor Nation that the role of Bachelor is his if he wants it. But Chris Harrison has said they’re going to see how BIP goes before deciding who will be the next Bachelor. If Peter was super interested in the gig, why would the producers be hedging their bets? And why would Peter have tried to reach out to Rachel after the season was over if he didn’t have real feelings for her?

I personally don’t think any of the castoffs from previous seasons is going to deliver the kind of soulful, authentic beauty that Peter gave us last night. I called him a cheap Nick knock-off in the beginning of the season but now I think Nick can’t hold a candle to him. I still think Nick is more interesting but I think Peter is more genuine and loving.

I can’t imagine anyone from previous seasons living up to the bar that Peter set in the finale.

My guess is that the producers are waiting to see if Peter gets over Rachel and if he thinks he can get to the end of a season and propose to someone he doesn’t know very well yet.

You can think I’m horrible if you want but what I hope is that Rachel sees through Bryan quickly and realizes she made a mistake in letting Peter go and they get together. I sometimes get a feeling that two people are ultimate soulmates on this show. It doesn’t happen often but it has happened. I felt it with Chris and Desiree the minute he got out of the limo, I felt it with Ashley H. and J.P. (once she ditched Bentley), and I felt it with Jade and Tanner.

I’ve felt it pretty consistently between Rachel and Peter throughout this season. It would not surprise me if they’re together in a year or two but Rachel is also very stubborn and may have shut him out of her heart as a possibility. IMO, she needs the complicated relationship that Peter offered her, not the ring and the hollow fairytale Bryan offered.

I guess time will tell.

Thank you all for reading and commenting over the seasons. I will post an announcement if I decide to cover future seasons of the franchise.

I love all of you and hope all of your wildest dreams come true.

heart_on_fire

 

 

 

 

20 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2017 Finale

  1. After watching last night, I don’t see how anyone could think Peter was faking it! What you said: “It’s as if she was forcing him to make up for what her ex had done and that isn’t fair.” EXACTLY.
    Also, did you notice how Rachel made a point several times during the live part of the show on the couch with Peter, to tell him that she thought that the whole process just wasn’t for him? It’s as if she doesn’t want him to get the Bachelor gig. I could be wrong, but it felt to me that there were still strong feelings there, on both sides. There just wasn’t the indifference that I often see from the lead to the runner-up on ATFR. I think they both still care.

    • Hi, Melissa.

      I didn’t view Rachel’s comment about Peter not being right for the show as sabotage at the time because I would tend to agree with her that this format may not be right for him. But she did keep hammering him about it.

      She was generally pretty mean to Peter which is why he had the feeling of being attacked but couldn’t express exactly why. There’s no reason for her to be mean unless she still cares. If you have to push someone away, it generally means you feel too close to them.

      I think Peter was hoping for amicable closure and it’s not what he got at all. He openly admitted he was still in love with her and she was still mean. No reason for it unless it affects you.

      So I basically agree with you about everything you said.

      Thank you for the feedback and support. Always appreciated! πŸ™‚

    • Hey, Tom.

      It feels like that a little bit. I just hope Rachel figures it out quickly so she can find someone to be a real partner to her.

      Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it! πŸ™‚

  2. I always read your recaps, but have never commented. I just finished watching the finale and I could not agree more with your feelings about the whole thing, Emily. I kept expecting some kind of twist, like Peter declaring his undying love live on the stage or something.
    Rachel says she wasn’t pressuring him to propose, but her reaction to him not being ready was definitely pressure. For sure she would’ve picked him over Bryan. Why would she try so hard with him, otherwise? I hope they do end up together. How could she go for Bryan at all? Especially when she had someone like Peter around? There’s no comparison.

    • Hi, Nima.

      Thank you for commenting for the first time. It really makes my day to get comments on my blog and I like to get to know my readers.

      I never liked Bryan but I’m trying to see the good in him for Rachel’s sake. I like her a lot and want her to be happy. I felt she was a little cruel towards Peter at the ATFR but sometimes it’s easier to get over people we love if we hate them.

      I don’t hate Bryan but I do feel he would have fallen for any Bachelorette. He has a track record of falling for people too quickly which is a red flag for me.

      I also trust Peter’s opinion. He didn’t openly dislike anyone except Bryan and Lee. That says a lot to me. The contestants get to see a lot more than we do of who they’re living with.

      Nick Viall was caught on video in an airplane trashing Josh and we found out last year on BIP that his opinion of Josh was dead on even if it wasn’t kind.

      So I think Peter knows Bryan isn’t right for Rachel. I don’t think he would have been as upset if Eric was the other guy in the final two.

      This felt like dejavu from Andi’s season.

      Thank you for your feedback and support! πŸ™‚

  3. Oh Emily you are so wrong I cannot even read your blog!
    The relationship with Peter was difficult, so much that they couldn’t even break up properly, it was a total struggle! Peter is so stand offish, not even into Rachel whatsoever, he walked into the fantasy suite first, he doesnt lean into her, she has to ask him to kiss her!
    Peter is a total player who in the end got played! I love it how Rachel told him ATFR and I hope he is NOT the Bachelor!
    The relationship with Bryan is effortless it just works! He gets her, he is into her, they worked out the weird vibes on their date! It is a real relationship
    It is shocking you don’t get it!
    I hope Eric is the Bachelor! Peter is a drag!

    • Annette, I’m going to respond to your comment first because it’s the most disconcerting in a couple of ways.

      First, you tell me I am so wrong. I’m not offended but think about what you’re saying. You assume that something that is strictly a matter of opinion must be false if that opinion is not your own.

      We don’t have to have the same opinion to both be justified in our opinions. We could have a different set of values when it comes to relationships and those values are inform our opinion of this situation.

      Second, you say you can’t read my blog the implication being that it’s because I don’t agree with your perspective on this matter. Well, no one is forcing you to read it but if you generally like my blog, there’s no reason you have to stop reading because we disagree on this one point.

      No one is going to agree with you 100% of the time. Maybe you feel a kinship with me because you read my blog and generally agree with what I write and now you feel like we don’t have that kinship because we don’t agree. We are separate people with separate values and separate minds. I have many friends who disagree with me on a variety of issues but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel a kinship with them. I accept that people think differently and view the world from different perspectives. This is a reality that we all must live with.

      As an aside I’d like to say that this country and maybe even the world is becoming more and more polarized because people simply cannot accept that disagreement is a natural state of affairs. It’s as natural as agreement. But somehow it feels safer to agree. It makes us feel like another person is like us and is on our “team”.

      I’m not not on your team because you don’t share my opinion. I respect that you have your own beliefs and your own mind that has led you to draw the conclusions you have about this situation. I don’t need or want everyone in the world to agree with me.

      Different perspectives make the world richer. I’m happy you shared your thoughts with me.

      If we don’t learn to accept that other perspectives are as valid as our own, we are doomed to hate and war. This is a critical problem I see in the world today.

      I respect your opinion and I’m not going to try to persuade you to change your mind so you think the same way about this as I do. I couldn’t even if I did want to. We’d just end up in an argument about a silly reality show which is not something I consider worth the aggravation.

      I bear you no ill will and wish you the best. Thank you for reading my blog and sharing your thoughts. I always appreciate feedback. πŸ™‚

  4. I have only seen love like what is between Rachel and Peter very few times on this show, both Bach and Bach’ette. They loved each other. Peter wasn’t faking it. I think that Peter may have held himself back more than the others because he was trying to be realistic and protect himself as well. Peter is a real man who is reserved and cautious, but I guarantee when he gives himself to someone, he gives his whole heart and soul. I think Rachel was terrified of the love she felt for him and him not being willing to propose was her way to protect herself from being broken by him on the off chance that would happen. I truly, genuinely hope that they end up together in the future, and if they do, it will be a beautiful relationship.

    • Hi, Jaime.

      I agree that the “breakup ” with Peter was a special moment in Bachelor history. For me, it was probably the most real I’ve ever seen on this franchise. People seem to forget that behind all the smiles in love there are also a lot of tears because love hurts as much as it heals. That’s the nature of growth and love forces us to grow. It’s sad that Rachel didn’t see that.

      I don’t think Bryan is a bad guy. I just think he’s not very particular. I think he would have fallen for whoever the Bachelorette was because he thinks love is all a fairy tale. He just doesn’t seem very realistic to me.

      Thanks for your comment!

  5. As far as Brian, I don’t personally have anything against him. I don’t think he is disingenuous either. I think he got caught up in the drama of the show, and let the whole “fairy tale” thing take over his brain. I don’t think they are meant to be. She is too different for him. But I think he will one day make a good husband, just not to Rachel.
    DAMN IT Rachel, who cares about a freaking RING….. you got one from Brian and whoopdeedoo… Peter would have loved you and cherished you and given you everything you could ever have wanted and that ring, when it came, would only be a piece of jewelry, nothing more.
    And Eric… you did get on my nerves, but you grew into a man over the course of this season. You are kind and genuine and funny and intelligent… and hot. You will find your one, and you will cherish her and make her the happiest girl on the planet!
    Gonna miss ya, Emily! ADIOS HOT, HOT, HOT PETER!!!!!!
    Sorry for the second comment. Apparently I talk too much and the comment thing doesn’t like it!

    • I guess I answered this comment with my first comment. Eric did get on my nerves too but was a different person by the end. It was shocking the transformation.

      I will miss you too! I’m watching Paradise but the first week was lame and I really have nothing to say about it. I’m hoping some more interesting people show up but I am skeptical.

      I thought they might try to make one of these guys the Bachelor but so far I hope not. I know Dean has a big fan base but he’s also a bit of a basket case. I don’t think he’s mature enough for the role.

      I’m still hoping Peter is going to be it. I really don’t care if he gets engaged at the end. I’d just be happy to watch his season.

      Take care Jaime. I’ll miss you!

      Thanks for all your feedback and support! πŸ™‚

      • Any time and every time, Emily! I will definitely miss ya. I haven’t started BIP yet, but I am interested to see if it is blah or awesome crazy stupidness! Need anything, you let me know, please!

        • Hey, Jaime.

          Well, I hope you’ve started BIP. I’m totally bored by it and can’t stand anyone. I’m glad I decided not to recap the season.

          I miss you too. I heard it through the grapevine (AKA Reality Steve) that Peter is the next Bachelor so I will be back to cover The Bachelor in January if that is the case.

          I’m here for you anytime too! You have my email so feel free to shoot me a line.

          Thanks for all your support! πŸ™‚

          • Well, I am happy to hear that you will be back! And definitely happy that Peter is the Bachelor. Hopefully, he can shake some things up in the Bachelor world. And I have to admit, it will be nice to see his face every Monday again!

            BIP has been interesting, but I am not as into it as I have been previously. Everyone drives me crazy, except Wells. Precious, he is!

            Looking forward to more Awesome Emily Recaps soon!

  6. Thanks for recapping this season. I agreed with above that I thought Peter was the “winner”, even after that heartfelt breakup, until he came out on stage and Rachel was cold to him. Maybe she did still have feelings but that was not cool.

    That being said (ug, I hate that expression now) I don’t think P will make a good bachelor.

    BiP is OK, too much on the scandal and Carly & Evan. I think they are seeing what happens down in Mexico before deciding on the next bachelor. I say Diggy!!!

    • Hey, Jennifer.

      Thanks for the comment. I’m not enjoying BIP at all. I don’t like the cast except for Wells.

      It “seems” like Peter will be the Bachelor. So we’ll see how he does. I’m happy about it because he’s the only person I’d want to see as a lead at this point. I don’t give a damn whether there’s ever a proposal on this show again. I’ve always thought it was ridiculous to get married after so short a period of time.

      So if Peter doesn’t propose and leaves the show with a girlfriend, I’m fine with it.

      Thanks so much for your feedback and support! πŸ™‚

  7. Me again, I just disagree with the thought and the comments that Peter was into Rachel, he even said on the Ellen show that he had not thought of having sex with Rachel! He was just not into her! He may have wanted to be…but he wasn’t, plain and simple. It looked to me like he wanted to “win” and that is why he was changing his attitude. And Rachel deserves someone who is into her, and that is Bryan, now they may not last, like most of the other couples, but they have the best chance of lasting as a couple over Peter and Rachel ever would have! Their breakup was awful and I would have liked for Rachel to have handled it in a different way, but hindsite is always 20/20. And the way she handled the after the final rose was not mean in any way, there were way worse in my opinion!

    • Hey, Annette.

      I hear that you disagree with me and the majority of the people who’ve commented. Everyone has their own perception and it’s perfectly normal to disagree about things. I don’t think anyone’s mind is going to be changed by going back and forth on this issue though.

      I hope you are right that Rachel and Bryan are right for each other because I want her to be happy. But the season is over and this is just a reality show. I don’t know about you but I’ve moved on to other things.

      I hope to hear from you again in January. Thank you for your comments. Always appreciated!

      πŸ™‚

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