I’m writing right after watching the finale because I want to get everything out while I’m still in the throes of the emotion that seeing the ending caused.
I have never said this before about a lead’s choice in the end but I genuinely believe that Rachel chose the wrong person. Most of the time if I don’t agree with the choice, I think to myself, “Well, there just must have been something we didn’t see.”
Not this time.
Bryan and Rachel may have been all smiles tonight but let’s not forget that they still don’t know each other that well. Rachel got her ring but did she get it from the person she’s supposed to spend the rest of her life with? Whether she’s meant to be with Peter or someone else, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t think Bryan is the one.
Rachel says that in the past she has chosen complicated relationships for herself. Maybe she feels like her relationship with Bryan isn’t complicated but the only reason it feels that way is because they’re still in the honeymoon phase.
All relationships are complicated. Talking things through and going through the hard part of having to be honest with ourselves and our partner about who we are and what we need is difficult but also a key part of being in an adult relationship.
I never saw any inkling of an adult relationship between Bryan and Rachel. I would rather have seen Rachel end up with Eric (who impressed the sh*t out of me in the end and completely changed my opinion of him) than see her end up with a guy who she’s never faced a challenge with and is so infatuated with the idea of her and the ridiculous fairy tale he’s built up in his head of meeting his true love on TV (because destiny) that he can’t seem to see that he will have to face hardships in this or any other relationship. I’m not even sure if he can handle hardship in relationships.
Someone wise once said that when you are deciding who to marry, don’t marry the person who things are great with when things are great. Marry the person you want to be in the trenches with when sh*t gets real.
The relationship with Peter was real from the beginning. He was honest and genuine. He didn’t bullsh*t her. Yes, the relationship was complicated but it was also something that had the potential to go the distance.
Their “breakup” was the most genuine emotional moment I have ever seen on this franchise and I would bet any amount of money that if Peter had WANTED to get down on one knee the way that Rachel required, they would be together.
In my opinion, Rachel demanded too much. Peter loved Rachel enough that he was willing to violate his principles and overlook his doubts and fears in order to have the chance to love her and see where they could go together in life. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make because losing her was NOT a sacrifice he wanted to make.
But she wanted the impossible. She wanted him to know after spending a handful of hours with her that she was the one he was meant to be with for the rest of his life. She mentioned a previous relationship that had lasted 5 years that she thought was leading to marriage and ended up not and she didn’t want to go through that again.
Yeah, after 5 years of hemming and hawing, I could see not wanting to go through that again. But Peter only had maybe 48 hours of alone time with her and couldn’t possibly know that Rachel was the person he wanted to commit to forever. That’s why so many of the engagements on this show end well before marriage is really on the table. It’s as if she was forcing him to make up for what her ex had done and that isn’t fair.
Does she honestly think Bryan knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? He doesn’t. He’s just so self-deluded that he has blind faith that she is the woman of his dreams without really looking inward to see if that’s realistic. His track record on this front isn’t great considering that the last relationship he got involved in too quickly ended just as quickly. Bryan is impulsive and his judgment is questionable.
Regrettably, I think Rachel is going to find out the hard way that while it may be a bad idea to wait too long to get engaged, it’s also a bad idea to force an engagement too quickly.
I know Peter took back his words but I don’t think he was wrong when he implied that Rachel would have an amazing life with him and a mediocre life with Bryan. Actually, I think she won’t have much of a life with Bryan at all because I think they’ll break up within a year.
I cried watching Peter and Rachel decide to break up over something so petty. In different ways, they were both looking for certainty. Peter wanted to be certain that Rachel was the one and Rachel wanted to be certain that Peter was willing to commit to her forever.
After countless heartbreaks and setbacks in my life, I can say there is no such thing as certainty and an engagement on this show is about as far from certain as one can get. All you can do is love someone and hope for the best. The majority of relationships don’t last forever and that’s okay. Relationships teach us who we are and help us cope with the difficulties we face in life. I don’t view them as an end goal in and of themselves as so many do in our culture.
I want to address a couple of things that showed up in the comments over the past couple of days. (I will respond to all the comments. I just haven’t been able to take the time to respond yet but I read them all and appreciate all of the feedback I’ve received.)
Jaime said that she didn’t know if Peter could realistically be The Bachelor given the fact that this process is very quick. I meant to address that in my last blog post but forgot. Yes, I agree. I don’t think Peter can be The Bachelor if he’s going to have the same qualms he did on Rachel’s season about getting engaged quickly. I also think Peter is still in love with Rachel.
Melissa mentioned that there are two schools of thought about Peter: 1) That he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread or 2) He’s conniving and manipulative and pretended to be into Rachel to get The Bachelor gig.
To anyone in the second group, do you really believe what you saw last night was all an act? That the split between Peter and Rachel wasn’t agonizing for both of them and that there wasn’t real love between them?
People don’t have tears streaming down their faces whispering to each other “I love you” while kissing each other as if their lives depended on it as they’re saying goodbye when it’s not real. If Peter was acting, give that man an Emmy. That’s the best f*cking performance I’ve ever seen on television.
AND Peter is so well-liked by Bachelor Nation that the role of Bachelor is his if he wants it. But Chris Harrison has said they’re going to see how BIP goes before deciding who will be the next Bachelor. If Peter was super interested in the gig, why would the producers be hedging their bets? And why would Peter have tried to reach out to Rachel after the season was over if he didn’t have real feelings for her?
I personally don’t think any of the castoffs from previous seasons is going to deliver the kind of soulful, authentic beauty that Peter gave us last night. I called him a cheap Nick knock-off in the beginning of the season but now I think Nick can’t hold a candle to him. I still think Nick is more interesting but I think Peter is more genuine and loving.
I can’t imagine anyone from previous seasons living up to the bar that Peter set in the finale.
My guess is that the producers are waiting to see if Peter gets over Rachel and if he thinks he can get to the end of a season and propose to someone he doesn’t know very well yet.
You can think I’m horrible if you want but what I hope is that Rachel sees through Bryan quickly and realizes she made a mistake in letting Peter go and they get together. I sometimes get a feeling that two people are ultimate soulmates on this show. It doesn’t happen often but it has happened. I felt it with Chris and Desiree the minute he got out of the limo, I felt it with Ashley H. and J.P. (once she ditched Bentley), and I felt it with Jade and Tanner.
I’ve felt it pretty consistently between Rachel and Peter throughout this season. It would not surprise me if they’re together in a year or two but Rachel is also very stubborn and may have shut him out of her heart as a possibility. IMO, she needs the complicated relationship that Peter offered her, not the ring and the hollow fairytale Bryan offered.
I guess time will tell.
Thank you all for reading and commenting over the seasons. I will post an announcement if I decide to cover future seasons of the franchise.
I love all of you and hope all of your wildest dreams come true.