Malibu Creek Tree
Malibu Creek Tree

Bachelor 2016: Episode 3 Recap

The Cocktail Party

We find out that two of Ben’s family friends died in a plane crash the previous night. He has tears in his eyes and most of the women look at him with blank faces as if to say, “Okay. But what does that have to do with me?”

Olivia immediately grabs him and I think we’re about to see Olivia’s compassionate side come out. Hahahaha. I’m an idiot.

She sits him down and starts talking about her hideous legs and cankles. She tears up as she talks about how strong she tries to be about it. *tear*

Does Olivia even recognize that there are other people in the world besides her?

Jubilee decides to try to make Ben feel better by giving him a massage and the other girls are up in arms about it. “She already has a rose! That’s not fair!” In this moment, I want them to all just have heart attacks and die.

Ben’s friends were killed in a plane crash and all they can think about is the time they’re not getting and the rose they might not get? They’re all horrible people unworthy of being Ben’s wife. Can we send them ALL home?

Jami gets elected to finally break up Jubilee’s monopoly of Ben’s time.

Queen mean, Amber, who ALSO has a rose, is annoyed with Jubilee’s behavior and decides to confront Jubilee about it. She insists on dragging Jubilee into a drama-fest which Jubilee wants no part in.

So Jubilee decides to run upstairs and hide. Ben follows her up to find out what’s going on. Jubilee doesn’t know what the hell is going on. I really don’t know what the hell is going on. What exactly did they need to say to her? You have a rose so don’t take our time with Ben? Where was Amber last week when Olivia did the same thing? This makes no sense.

Amber confronts Jubilee about her joke about giving her date to someone else. And Ben basically tells Amber to f*ck off in the most angelic way imaginable.

Just when Ben has plugged up that hole in the sinking ship, Lace pulls Ben outside for a one-on-one conversation.

The Redemption of Lace

Lace breaks down in tears and comes to terms with the fact that she’s not ready for a relationship and needs to go home and work on herself. So Lace is not actually crazy. She’s insecure but it takes tremendous courage and self-awareness to admit you’re not ready for a relationship and make a graceful exit knowing you’re simultaneously giving up your 15 minutes of fame. When all is said and done, I must conclude that Lace was there for “the right reasons.” (Writing those words made me throw up in my mouth a little.) That’s more than I can say for some of the other women whose antics are grating on my brain like fingernails on a chalkboard. How is it possible I now like Lace more than Amber? This season is throwing me for a loop.

The Rose Ceremony

Amber, Lauren B., and Jubilee have roses.

  1. Lauren H.
  2. Amanda
  3. Becca
  4. Haley
  5. Emily
  6. Rachel
  7. Caila
  8. JoJo
  9. Jennifer
  10. Leah
  11. Olivia

Lace, Shushanna, and Jami go home.

Jami doesn’t even know why she tries anymore. She’s learned from this experience not to expect anything from anyone ever and now she’s going to go adopt cats. Buh-bye. No one’s interested in attending your pity party. We barely even knew you were on the show and neither did Ben.

Olivia is convinced that she and Ben communicate through a secret language of touches. First, he touched her knee after not giving her the group date rose and then he squeezed her waist when he hugged her after making her sweat it out to get the last rose of the night. Uh… don’t all hugs involve squeezing someone’s waist?

I’ve gotta give her credit though for seeing the thinnest of silver linings (even the ones so thin they don’t even exist).

The ladies are headed for Vegas next week. Looks like lots of Olivia drama.

I’ll blog about After Bachelor later in the week. See you soon!

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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:

Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese. – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap. – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows. – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.
Chris Harrison’s Blog – I don’t think he actually writes it but his ghost writer is damn clever.


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