Nick and Kaitlyn's Big Bang
Nick and Kaitlyn's Big Bang
Nick and Kaitlyn's Big Bang By Takashi Hososhima, mods by Café Emily

Bachelorette 2015 Recap: The Big Big Bang

The Irish Wake Date

This might be one of the weirdest dates ever on the show. Apparently, Irish wakes are celebrations of departed loved ones rather than the somber affairs they are here in the states.

So the producers thought it would be a good idea to have Kaitlyn lie down in a casket and pretend to be dead while the guys eulogize her. What?

The guys enter the funeral parlor and Kaitlyn is lying in the casket with a whiskey flask clutched to her chest rather than the typical bouquet of lilies. Shout out to my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure this is how he wants to be buried.

Kaitlyn can’t keep her composure though. She starts giggling the moment the guys walk in the room and doesn’t stop til the fake wake is over.

Chris Harrison: “You’re the worst dead person ever.”

The guys say some words over Kaitlyn’s “corpse”.

The best comes from Tanner surprisingly:

“I once dated a girl with 25 men,
Beautiful, her name was Kait-lyn.
But all we ever did was date in groups
They made me dress up and jump through hoops.
How I’m still here nobody knows
Hell, I’m even surprised that I got a rose.
But I like you and want time tonight so put it in your planner
And don’t forget, my name is Tanner.”

THAT, Ian, is self-awareness.

Chris sings an Irish-style song about Kaitlyn’s life.

Ben H. tells a really bizarre story about her dying from being attacked by pigeons due to wearing a dress made out of bread that he gave her for their 50th wedding anniversary. WTF? Well, he’s still cute so whatever.

Shawn: “I feel really bad that you took your own life but I probably would have done the same thing if I had to spend the entire day with Nick yesterday.”

Uh, yeah. It’s not gonna go over well if/when Shawn finds out Kaitlyn and Nick spent the majority of the time in her hotel room doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

The night portion of the date takes place at the Guinness House. So beer.

Jared and Kaitlyn get some one-on-one time and he makes fun of her laugh which she thinks is funny. I think it’s messed up but whatever floats her boat. She has a great laugh in my opinion but Jared calls it “obnoxious”.

Next, Shawn gets some one-on-one time and claims in an ITM that he feels secure again in their connection…

…Then Jared gets the group date rose. Shawn not happy.

Shawn: “Kaitlyn just told me a few days ago I’m the one… I looked for that validation and I didn’t get it tonight.”

Whoa. Kaitlyn, bad move. No wonder Shawn is flipping out. He’s basically in love with you and you gave him every reason to believe he was going to be the one standing in the end? There’s a reason the leads keep their cards close to the vest. Minds and hearts can change unexpectedly in this situation and then a poor sap who got his hopes up because a Bachelorette told him he was it for her ends up devastated. If you don’t want to hurt people, wait til you’ve REALLY made up your mind who your guy is.

Jared and Kaitlyn go to a church where The Cranberries give them a private concert. I guess The Cranberries aren’t as popular as they used to be?

Meanwhile, back at the Guinness House, Shawn is about to buckle. He goes to talk to one of the guys on the production staff who he claims to trust more than anyone else there.

Shawn: “Do you know what we have? It’s insane…”

So that was a manipulative edit last week. In the promo for this week, they showed Shawn approaching Kaitlyn in her hotel room with that voice over to make it look like he’d found out about Nick and Kaitlyn having sex. He didn’t say it to her though. He said it to some dude in production and he doesn’t yet know that Nick and Kaitlyn have had sex. Eek.

Shawn: “She came to my room and we stayed up all night. We didn’t even sleep. She said ‘you’re the one’. I can’t do this anymore and then what? We get to the fantasy suites and she bangs 2 other dudes?” Uhhh… well, she already banged one. This does not bode well. “…Not a chance. I can’t do that. I’m about to cry right now. I can’t do this.”

I predicted Shawn might crack a couple of weeks ago but now it seems inevitable. Even if she ended up with Shawn at the end of filming, he would know she f*cked Nick, the guy he absolutely despises, weeks before the fantasy suite dates. So if Shawn can’t hang and he’s the one, Kaitlyn may very well be single again.

Shawn goes to talk to Kaitlyn in her room and she’s freaked out because she thinks Nick let the pussy out of the bag. She cries in her ITM, stating that what happened with Nick was a mistake. I love you, K, but it’s not like Nick was the one who suggested sleeping together on the first date so forgive me if I’m not going to attend your pity party. You say you’re not ashamed of what happened then own it. You didn’t do anything wrong other than to tell one guy he was the one before you had all the information you needed to make that determination. If Shawn can’t deal, that’s his problem. He knew what show he was going on.

The show cuts off there. We didn’t even get to see the two-on-one between Joe and J.J. This is highly unusual. Is the Nick thing gonna blow up the show in some unforeseen way? He already has a rose. Is Kaitlyn going to revoke it if Shawn says he wants to leave?

I don’t see ABC cutting their season short so I have no idea what’s going to happen. This is uncharted territory.

At the tail end of the show, we get an update on Britt and Brady. She introduces him to her mom after two months. Her mom refers to Brady as Britt’s new “friend” multiple times which makes Britt a little uncomfortable. I think this relationship is doomed. It’s a good thing I don’t care.

See you next week!







One thought on “Bachelorette 2015 Recap: The Big Big Bang

  1. It took me almost 10 minutes to get through your opener about Ian. SO hilarious -kept laughing non-stop! I may be missing the point of the show, but if I had to whittle down to a choice from 25 girls down to one, I would refrain from telling anyone I thought they were the one until the last reasonable moment. And be doing as much time for making out as I was taking time for talking. It’s all part of the package and you gotta do some test driving. She shouldn’t back track off she slept with Nick – and no one would say ‘Boo’ about it if she were a guy. I can relate to Shawn being afraid of losing her if he is that invested. But better to accept that some things you want aren’t meant for you and not make a jealous ass of yourself. If she isn’t the one for him, letting go will make way for him to see the one who is. Plus it clears the path for Nick. Bwa ha ha ha!

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