Don't cry for Derek, Argentina.
Don't cry for Derek, Argentina.
Cry for Derek, Argentina ©2016 ABC

Bachelorette 2016 Recap: Episode 6

The Group Date

Before the date begins, James discusses how he’s not going to blow anybody away with his looks or his abs. He’s right but his humility is excessive and annoying. I do not want another season of The Bachelor where the lead thinks he doesn’t deserve love. It was somewhat tolerable with Ben because he was so easy on the eyes but James does not have Ben’s looks to fall back on. There’s a huge difference between Ben saying he doesn’t know why 25 girls would want him and James saying it. One sounds like false modesty and the other just sounds like reality.

Jojo and the boys end up at a community basketball court which looks like it’s in a poor area. They have a random soccer match with some locals. Another truly inspired date idea. :I

The guys play a penalty kick off match to compete for a kiss from Jojo (I guess that’s where the “boca” part of the date comes into play). Aren’t there more interesting things to do in Buenos Aires? They’re in Argentina for goodness sake and they look like they’re in South Central. Come on, Bachelor producers! Show these boys a good time before they ship back to the motherland.

The Group Date Cocktail Party

Luke and Jojo have another crazy make out session and Jojo lets us know that her and Luke’s chemistry is off the charts as if we didn’t already know. He’s not going anywhere except to the fantasy suite.

The two-on-one date card arrives at the hotel: “Derek, Chase. It takes two.”

Derek: I wish it weren’t you who’s going home. LOL!

Chase: cat_filing_nails

Back at the cocktail party, James throws Jordan under the bus. I’m not exactly sure what he was complaining about. It was something about a card game and Jordan and making up new rules or something. I didn’t get it. It certainly wasn’t damning. I guess the gist of it was supposed to be that Jordan thinks he’s “entitled” ’cause he’s famous.

Jojo pulls Jordan aside for a chat to get to the bottom of this unintelligible nonsense.

So it turns out what REALLY happened between James and Jordan was a different perception of the rules of poker. I think it’s a little strange that James would consider that a big enough deal to report to Jojo. Sometimes people just disagree. I still don’t trust Jordan’s intentions but stating his belief about what the rules of poker are which run contrary to what James believes the rules of poker are isn’t exactly enough to condemn him.

Jordan claims he isn’t entitled and his mother didn’t raise him that way. Okay, sure. But the deck of life is definitely stacked in his favor. Does being entitled always mean acting entitled or are some people just naturally more entitled than others? Jordan is privileged at the very least as are most of the men on this show.

Jordan is not happy when he returns to the cocktail party. He and James quibble over the incident to no avail.

kitten-fight

Luke gets the date Rose.

Derek and Chase’s Two-On-One

Derek is really cocky about his chances. I’m not sure why he thinks his connection with Jojo is so strong. But I don’t like Derek so I don’t really care and I’m glad he’s going home.

Big surprise. The note on the date card, “it takes two,” referred to tango dancing. Another date where guys have to learn a dance. Dear God, this is boring.

Both guys seem to think they have a good connection with Jojo but at least Chase has the humility to recognize maybe it’s not what he thought it was. Derek is completely delusional about his connection with Jojo.

During the night portion of the date, Derek tells Jojo that he’s falling for her. And Jojo responds, “I appreciate that.”

friendzoned

We find out during her time with Chase that Jojo’s love language is words of affirmation. If you don’t know what that is, it would be worth your while to look into it, especially if you’re having relationship struggles. A lot of problems between couples come from not speaking each others’ love languages. Most people love their partner the way they feel loved instead of loving their partner the way he/she feels loved. My top love language is also words of affirmation but there are four others: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/faqs/love-languages/

All that is to say that Jojo doesn’t feel love from Chase because he’s not giving her words of affirmation. It’s probably not going to work out between them if they’re starting off this way. Generally, you don’t get into that until you have an established relationship. Luke and Jordan excel at giving words of affirmation (especially Luke) which is why Jojo is likely to pick one of them.

A lot of guys struggle with words of affirmation even though they’re the key to unlocking most women’s hearts. That’s why smooth talkers are often good at getting women into bed. They know what to say to get women to fall for them.

Chase gets the date rose despite his poor communication skills because Derek is a wanker.

I like Derek even less when he refers to himself in the third person during his exit interview which is full of self-pity.

Ironically, Derek cries while Chase and Jojo dance to a woman singing “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”. I’m sure they didn’t plan that AT ALL.

Cocktail Party

Jordan says he wants to “do life” with Jojo. Was he talking about marriage or prison? Same difference?

andy-and-red

Also, I didn’t know they made skinny suit slacks.

Alex flips out because he’s the only one who hasn’t had a one-on-one with Jojo.

Jojo doesn’t want Alex to feel like he’s behind but let’s be honest, he always has been and he’s never gonna catch up.

I really can’t wait for him to go home. If he gets the one-on-one next week, I don’t see him getting the rose unless the producers still need him for something.

Rose Ceremony

Luke and Chase already have roses. Robby and Jordan get the first two roses of the three that are left but then Jojo runs outside in the middle of the rose ceremony to tell Chris Harrison that she doesn’t want to give out the last rose.

Psych! She wants to give out two roses. Good one, ABC.

slow_clap

It’s a good thing Jojo wanted to conveniently spend more time with James and Alex before inevitably kicking them to the curb because ABC would have one less week of the show than they need to cover the standard season.

Both James and Alex believe they deserve fifth place over the other.

Alex is not happy that he and James got pity roses. Well, at least he’s consistent.

I wonder if all the talk about Jordan potentially being a fame whore was to clear the air for a potential Bachelor season for him. Because it needed to be addressed if he’s going to be the Bachelor but the problem is I don’t think anybody who’s a fan of the show is buying it. I don’t think there are that many Jordan fans out there. He hasn’t exactly done anything to convince me he IS a fame whore but he hasn’t done anything to convince me he isn’t either.

At the very tail end of the show, James and Robby quibble over the correct spelling of “margarita” in terms of the pizza. It’s Margherita. I looked it up and it turns out there really isn’t that much difference between a plain old cheese pizza and a Margherita pizza. Margherita pizza has fresh basil leaves on top and it’s named after an Italian queen. The colors on a Margherita pizza are red, white, and green like the Italian flag. Mystery solved.

Thanks for sticking with me guys. I really appreciate it. Thank you all again for your support.


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Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese.
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.

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19 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2016 Recap: Episode 6

  1. So happy to see your latest post!

    That squabble was amusing:
    Margarita = Mexican cocktail
    Margherita = Italian cuisine

    Given the lackluster bunch of suitors this season, ABC might have to dig into the archives to find a worthy leading man, or else introduce someone new.

    Jordan would be a contender if he doesn’t “win” and if he isn’t outed as a fame-whore; Luke mumbles in monotone; Chase is cute but seems dumb; Robby, with his large oblong toupee, fell in love on his first date (what a delusional sap… wait… maybe that’s the right combo for a Bachelor?); Alex is too angry about anything and everything; James is desperate and obnoxiously humble; and Wells is too good for this nonsense.

    • Hey, Marla.

      You made me LOL. I think your assessment of the possibilities for Bachelor are spot on. That thing about the Robby’s oblong toupee cracked me up.

      Are you a writer? Maybe you should consider it.

      Thank you for your comments and feedback. I really appreciate it 🙂

      • I’m not a writer, but that was a huge compliment (thank you!) as I’ve dabbled with the idea. Nope, I’m a former fine arts/graphic design major who never followed through.

        • You’re a good writer. You should consider it.

          I’m a former graphic design major too… but then I switched to a bunch of different science fields and never finished my bachelor’s due to my illness.

          If there is something you want to write about but don’t want to hassle with setting up your own blog, I can publish you on mine. I’m trying to run a one-woman Huffington Post here and it’s not working out because of the time it takes me to take care of myself. I need other writers to help fill in this blog.

          You can look at the other categories I have and if there’s nothing there you want to write about, I can add and subtract categories with ease.

          Let me know if you’re interested. That goes for anyone else who might happen to be reading this comment. I need writers.

          Thanks for your feedback and support! 🙂

  2. emily,

    male reader here – i love reading your thoughts each week. i don’t subscribe because i like the suspense of loading it 100x each week and hoping for a new post. thanks for your efforts!

  3. WHY are so many of the guys this season whiny? Even Alex, who is just ridiculous, is a whiny boy. I hate that Evan got sent home. He was at least a little comedic relied. And Wells, he of the protein shake ashes funeral, you would be my choice for Bachelor over any of them. Again, WHY WHINE? STOP! You are all worse than ten women!

    • LOL! They are really whiny. They make Ben’s women seem darn right mature by comparison.

      I was really sorry to see Wells go too. I don’t think he will get the Bachelor gig though. He got cut too soon.

      Thanks so much for your feedback and support! I really appreciate it! 🙂

  4. Hi Emily,
    I really loved your blog because i feel I share your feelings about the group of guys this season. Wells was my favorite and I felt bad for him that JoJo didn’t have much chemistry with him, but he stood out way above the others and I honestly don’t understand why he would want to be on this ridiculous show that we can’t not watch for some weird reason!
    Anyway, I also couldn’t stand Derek and was happy to see him leave, and his exit was pretty embarrassing and I do feel bad that he had to watch this at home on his device. Men are really delusional about how they are perceived by women! It never ceases to amaze me!
    I don’t think I would want to watch Bachelor if they cast any of the remaining guys, who do not impress me very much, but I said that about Juan Pablo’s season, and we did get to meet and love Sharleen Joynt, whose blog I also enjoy reading, so that was worth watching I guess. These shows are so addicting, but the best is reading about them, so thank you so much for blogging, and you are more entertaining to read than sitting through watching the actual show!!

    Hope you are feeling better!

    • Hi, Marianne.

      I’m glad you enjoy my blog. I really appreciate your comments and feedback! 🙂

      I think the only reason people go on this show is because they want to be on TV and they want to travel. I think a couple are truly interested in finding love but not the majority. It is a unique experience but it did seem that Wells was tiring of it by the end of his time on the show. Being on set 24 hours a day is exhausting and I’m sure a lot of the shenanigans seem ridiculous to people with half a brain cell in their heads.

      I don’t know why we keep watching this show either! I guess it’s like a train wreck and fantasy football combined: you can’t look away and yet you want to see who walks away with the ring (or gives it).

      Honestly, it’s sometimes hard for me to write about the show because it’s so contrived and insulting to my intelligence (and often just boring) but I do my best to find some tidbit of material to work with. It was hard this week.

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! It means the world to me. 🙂

  5. “Oh, did that gif seem disconnected from the context of my article? That was just performance art. It’s supposed to make you think but you don’t actually have a choice in the matter since you can’t help but think when something makes no f*cking sense. It’s like calling it charity when you give your wallet to a thief who’s holding a gun to your head.” Ha-ha-ha! That was awesome!

    These remaining men… I just don’t care for any of them. For some reason, I suddenly developed a violent dislike for Alex, and I can’t take the stationary, sculpted hair and jeggings any more. Your blog makes it all worthwhile! 🙂

    • Hey, Melissa.

      I’m glad you enjoyed my “performance art”. It was spur of the moment. I was looking up something that had nothing to do with that and that gif came up and I thought, “Perfect way to illustrate my point.”

      I don’t like the remaining men either. I kind of like Luke. I would definitely like Jordan if I weren’t so suspicious of his motives. He’s a sociable, attractive guy and there really isn’t anything not to like but there’s no way to avoid the reality that there is no reason for him to be on this show other than fame.

      I do think the final two will be Jordan and Luke.

      But Robby, Chase, Alex, and James T. are pretty generic. I still don’t get why James F. got let go. Am I the only one who found him attractive?

      I never noticed that Alex wore jeggings! I noticed Jordan dresses like a total hipster but not Alex. But Alex needs his hair cut by someone other than Vinny. It’s a shaggy mess when it’s not styled.

      I’m glad my blog makes this show more worth watching. Your comments and others’ comments make it worth writing about this show!

      Thank you so much for your continued feedback and support! 🙂

      • My fault for not being more clear… when I mentioned stationary, sculpted hair and jeggings I was thinking more about all the guys, not Alex. My violent dislike for Alex was just about his personality. Thankfully, he is now gone! 🙂 Thanks for recapping!

  6. I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

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