Bachelorette 2016 Recap: Episode 9 and 10

The MTA

I’m watching the beginning and so far it’s blah blah blah something about Marines but I don’t care about any of it, not even Wells’ not-so-brilliant attempt to psychoanalyze his fellow contestants (that always goes over big in any situation) and then Daniel perhaps delivers the line of the night: “You guys are all a bunch of insecure bitches all you did was complain about Chad and talk about how you were in love with Jojo after knowing her for five minutes.”

Could they have been more dramatic introducing Chad? He’s being held in a camper outside and has to be let in by security while the guys inside cross themselves? Whatever, ABC.

 

How did I miss Chad saying how much he liked milk? That was pretty hilarious.

It seems Chad decided to pussy out on chasing all the guys down and kicking their asses after the show and date their ex-girlfriend’s instead. Chad dated Grant and Robby’s ex-girlfriends. I guess Jordan’s wasn’t desperate enough to date another a**hole?

The most embarrassing moment of the MTA was when St. Nick, who barely played a role on the show, got up and challenged Chad to step outside. Oy.

I’m not sure why Chad decided to let Derek know that his pocket square didn’t match his shirt but it was kind of funny.

They rehash the incident where Evan supposedly pushed Chad and they reviewed the footage to see if Evan actually did push Chad. Really? Who cares. I’m never getting those two minutes back.

Luke’s interview about how shocked he was at having to say goodbye to Jojo and what he went through afterwards was kind of heartbreaking. I think we were all shocked that Luke went home the way that he did. I do think that there was some producer manipulation involved. It’s very possible that the producers deliberately steered Jojo away from Luke and that’s pretty f*cking horrific if you ask me. ABC has no soul.

But, fortunately, Luke has plenty of soul to spare and if we’re lucky, he’ll be our next bachelor.

Chase’s interview is boring as is his talk with Jojo. I really have no idea why he needed to sit on the couch with her to have that conversation. Maybe he’s trying to edge out Luke for Bachelor who’s definitely the frontrunner right now from what I can tell based on viewer feedback.

Chad throws his two cents in and reminds Jojo that one of her final two broke up with his girlfriend to go on the show and the other is a cheating fame whore whose brother doesn’t even talk to him anymore. Thanks, Chad!

I generally give the villains on these shows a little bit of the benefit of the doubt but I think Chad is sincerely a complete and total douche nozzle. He’s probably a psychopath, or as the kids are calling it these days, a sociopath.

The thing with Vinny’s mom was totally staged. She had a mic on. If that was totally spontaneous, they would’ve had to bring a microphone to her in order for her to be heard. Thanks for insulting our intelligence for the millionth time this season, ABC.

They show us a preview at the end of tomorrow night’s episode. I really don’t care anymore who Jojo chooses. It’s probably not going to last so what difference does it make?

I can’t remember which episode it was on but I do remember that there was a preview of Bachelor in Paradise. Nick Viall was shown talking about how he had fallen in love with Amanda (f*cking Amanda??? Are you sh*tting me right now?) and there was footage of him looking at engagement rings.

If Nick the falls in love and gets engaged to Amanda, I will have zero respect left for him. I will not give a damn what he says or does or thinks ever again. Amanda is at 23-year-old woman (and the only thing that makes her a woman in my mind rather than a girl is the fact that she’s a single mother) with the IQ of a dormouse.

What the hell does Nick have in common with Amanda?

Sorry this post wasn’t rosier, guys. I’m just over this season. Tomorrow this pathetic train wreck comes to an end and a new (and improved!) train wreck begins on Tuesday. I hope BIP will be more tolerable than this season of The Bachelorette.

I’ll talk to you guys next week. I probably won’t cover much about the finale unless something really interesting happens. I’ll combine any thoughts I have with my BIP post.

Thank you all for your continued patience and support. You’re all awesome. 🙂

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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:

Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese.
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.

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