Bachelor 2016 Episode 10: B*tch Week
(AKA The Women Tell All)
Hi, Bachelor Nation.
Thank you all for your patience and support while I’m battling this cursed kidney infection.
Also, so grateful for all the comments I received on my Fantasy Suite Week blog. I forgot to respond to a latecomer so I’ll do it now: Laci, you’re right. Auto-correct is a tool of the devil. I’m sorry you had to comment twice because of it. Thank you for your feedback! 🙂
FYI, you guys can check out my first Ask Emily post here. I posted it earlier to give you something to read while I was writing my recap.
And now, on to business.
This is what I was like in my head the whole time leading up to Olivia’s turn in the hot seat:
And this is what I looked like while Amber and Amber 2 Point OMG-I-don’t-care-about-anything-you’re-saying were talking:
And this is what Olivia was like the whole time leading up to her turn in the hot seat:
And the lady with the chicken was like…
Were Rose Hat and Miniature Horse Wrangler unavailable?
Chris and Ben’s Viewing Panty Raids (SIC – you know they got some)
- One of the women hosting a viewing party got into The Bachelor because of her husband… because you know, it’s like WAY better than fantasy football. Uh… okay. Did he get her interested in Project Runway too?
Just kidding! I know plenty of straight guys who watch The Bachelor. Plenty… 😉
- One viewing group made a “Hare for the Right Reasons” carrot cake with Chris Harrison as the “Hare”. Bachelor Nation is so punny. I like the abs they photoshopped on him… Wait a sec… did Chris pay one of the interns to whip up that cake and plant it at the party? I’m on to you Harrison…
- The last party they raid is full of cute 20-something girls.
Ben: “I’m surrounded by 40 screaming women.” Such a new experience for him.
The Bitchfest Begins
A couple of girls start in on Olivia right away but Sheila the chicken has got O’s back and interrupts them.
Next, Leah gets the spotlight. Becca’s annoyed because Leah lied to her face. *yawn*
Jubilee
The Ambers get on Jubilee’s case about her claiming to be the “real” black woman on the show.
Did Jubilee actually say that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Do I care?
Race warfare between black women about who’s the blackest is item #3672 on my list of petty bullsh*t (it’s a really long list – there are only about 20 items on my list of important sh*t. ACTUAL racism is one of them).
I will say this. There is no such thing as “full black” unless you go to Nairobi or something. Almost everyone born in this country who has enough black in them to be considered “black” is mixed race. And if you go back far enough, we all have black ancestors. So am I black? Should I be butt hurt about Jubilee’s comments too?
Maybe we should stop talking about how black a “black” person is (this is not the first instance I’ve heard people discussing this issue – just last week it was controversial that Zoe Saldana was cast to play Nina Simone because she had to alter her skin tone and put on a prosthetic nose – something white actors do all the time – in order to play the role. #OscarsSoWhite but God forbid a black woman play a historical black icon whose skin happened to be a few shades darker than hers) and start talking about the important societal issues that face the African American community as a general whole like institutional racism and systemic poverty. #PrioritiesPeople #F*ckThePCPolice
Jubilee gets put in the hot seat. The thing that actually bugs me about Jubilee is that she thinks she so damn complex. What happened to her as a child was really rough but she’s not complex. She’s insecure. Nothing a year of therapy couldn’t help alleviate. We all have scars that will never go away but they don’t have to remain open wounds.
List of ACTUAL complex women who have been on The Bachelor:
- Sharleen Joynt
Yep, that’s it. Sorry, ladies of the Bachelor franchise, but the rest of you have been downright ordinary (aside from those of you who are batsh*t but that list is far too long to publish here).
Lace
Good news! Lace has stopped using the word crazy to describe herself.
But you know who is DEFINITELY crazy? That dude who had Lace’s face tattooed on his side.
(True story: When I Googled “creeper” Shawn B.’s photo popped up in the results.)
Olivia
FINALLY!! Let’s get this party started!
I wanna talk smart things! Come at me, bro!
Ooooo… Olivia knows what the word “tumultuous” means. I know that may not seem like much of a accomplishment but compared to contestants like Emily who can’t identify a swan, Olivia might as well be Einstein.
Olivia says she owns up to a lot of the things she did wrong. Cut to a clip of Amanda looking at Emily and giggling like Queen Mean and I’m thinking…
NO ONE F*CKS WITH MY OLIVIA!!!
Amanda said Olivia said guys should be running the other way because Amanda has kids. I don’t remember her saying that. I remember her saying that kids are not what she thought Ben wanted but I don’t recall her saying anything remotely like guys should be running the other way. I don’t think Olivia remembers it either ’cause this was her face, literally:
Then Amanda gets all self-righteous about being a mom and mockingly says being a mom is “her jam” which is greeted by thunderous applause by the audience.
No offense to moms, but Olivia apologized multiple times for her teen mom comment, I don’t think she ever actually made a blanket statement that men should run away from Amanda because she’s a mother, and Amanda is taking what Olivia actually said way too much to heart. Why does Olivia’s opinion matter so much when Amanda obviously dislikes her so greatly?
Oh, hold the phone! Thing 2 has something to say. It’s sure to be epically interesting and important so let’s all quiet down and listen…
Haley: I’m so tired of you saying you didn’t bully us girls… I was wearing a low-cut short romper [romp·er ˈrämpər, noun 1. a young child’s one-piece outer garment. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! How appropriate!] ’cause, oh well, I look good in it… you were wearing this high-cut dress and saying you were wife material so you couldn’t wear low-cut things, basically calling me a slut…
Olivia’s face be like…
…’cause she doesn’t remember saying that sh*t either (probably ’cause she didn’t or we would have seen it)…
…and then Thing 1 chimes in: You said something about Amanda only being on the show because she had a sob story… that’s bullying…
And then LEAH, unlikely voice of reason, says: But you did it right back to her…
Emily interrupts: That’s beyond the point!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh, the hypocrisy! (BTW, it’s “beside the point”, Emily, not “beyond the point”… twit.)
Amanda, Twins, I regret to inform you but:
- You’re not smart.
- You’re not different.
- You’re not special.
- You’re just mean.
But that was a pretty entertaining exchange, I have to admit.
Next, Olivia gives a very reasonable explanation as to why she didn’t perceive herself as sabotaging anyone else but tried to get time with Ben when she could because her relationship with Ben was her priority over allowing others to get time with him (the heinous – HEINOUS I TELL YOU! – crime committed by all Bachelor/ette villains).
Then Jennifer tells Olivia that if she had just gotten off her high horse and tried to make friends with them, she would have realized that they all like to read books and talk smart things too.
Speak for yourself, Jennifer. Your IQ is probably higher than the twins’ combined.
Sorry, but I just don’t see a lot of readers in this group of women.
And, now, the moment I’ve been waiting for. The true Olivia is revealed, the one I told you about weeks ago, the introvert, the girl who was bullied her whole childhood for not fitting in, the girl you think has everything but actually has been through hell. How did I know? Because I AM Olivia. I’m older and wiser and was probably more mature than she is at her age but I GET Olivia because she is my kindred. But let’s hear it in her own words:
Olivia: I was not comfortable in that setting. That was not the right setting for my personality type at all. And people say, “How can you be a public figure and be an introvert?” And I just… I am. I was severely bullied as a child. Severely. I was bullied really badly and there were so many moments where it took me back to being in elementary school and walking into a room and just silence. I felt like everyone was staring at me.
And then Olivia breaks down in tears and feels compelled to apologize to the morons in the room and at home who think ill of her for doing virtually nothing compared to what was done to her. Yes, she WAS bullied. Not just by the other women on the show but by the producers and the editors who took advantage of her social ineptitude to turn her into this season’s villain. This quote is dedicated to Olivia and to all of you reading this now. Even if the whole world tells you you’re wrong, it doesn’t make it true:
Next Up: Everyone Else I Don’t Care About and Ben
Caila is way too immature to be the next Bachelorette. Why can’t the cast be older, since some of these early 20-somethings can’t possibly want to get married right now? Is it me or was the Chicken Enthusiast one of the prettiest girls there? Make her the B’ette.
:Olivia redeemed herself in my eyes, and the twins came off as mean. One of them (probably both) doesn’t like vegetables b/c they are ugly. Unbelievable I could tell them apart. I could barely hear the race argument b/c I couldn’t help staring at Jami & Amber’s cleavages. Pull those dresses up, ladies, though I actually liked those 2, even though they are also a pair of mean girls.
There were a lot of people missing: LB, Samantha, Manda, and the girl who brought Huey the horse. Izzy was there, I forgot about her. And I was reminded it was Jojo who came out of the limo in the stupid unicorn mask. Usually the girls who do the corny entrances don’t make it (right?) Looking at you, Izzy. Great recap, hope you’re feeling better.
Hey, Jennifer.
I didn’t notice the chicken lady too much because the chicken was making too much of a spectacle of herself. I assume she didn’t get much airtime because she doesn’t have much of a personality. Now we know who the B’ette is going to be so we don’t have to worry about a Caila season. Thank the sweet baby Jesus.
I think Jami was trying to get a spot on BIP with that shirt and stirring the pot about race. I think Amber may want back on too but I don’t know if she’ll get selected. Amber came off a bit desperate to me the whole season. I completely agree that Amber and Jami were a couple of mean girls.
I was surprised at some of the people who weren’t there as well. I was surprised about Izzy. I was surprised they even let her speak that much. I barely remember her.
Thanks for your well-wishes. I am doing better now. It seems to have passed.
Thanks for your comments as always. You should really consider writing your own Bachelor blog. I think you would enjoy it. 🙂
I never comment on these blogs yet I felt compelled to say THANK YOU for your synopsis of Olivia and trying to understand the who Jubilee issue.
Olivia was downright bullied by everyone on that show and everyone having anything to do with that show. It just got worse and worse as the season wore on. Those women were immature brats. I respect Olivia for how she handled herself at the WTA, and trying to explain herself while honoring the horrendous editing of that show. She owed not one apology to anyone. Maybe the silly comment about Teen Mom, but even that was edited and made more than it was. The women looked like absolute immature fools on the show in how they reacted to her. And not one person apologized to her.
Same can be said for Jubilee. Wonderfully accomplished young woman who has had a tough go of it, yet has risen above it all. Amber and the other biracial woman looked like complete bullies and immature teenagers at a high school dance. It was horrid watching Jubilee think she had to defend herself or apologize for anything. And no one apologized to her either.
Olivia and Amber .. if you are reading this .. stand tall, girls. Both of you are beautiful in and out and very accomplished women. The Bachelor is a TV show for entertainment and unfortunately you were played. I’m very sorry both of you have had to endure bullying on the show and on social media all through the season.
I wish you both the very best!
Hey, Pat.
You’re welcome for my analysis of Olivia and trying to talk about the Jubilee situation. At first, I wasn’t team Olivia. Then I started to think she was just weird. And, finally, I came to realize that she was being victimized by the show and the other contestants and she truly was just an introvert who has a hard time communicating with other women. I can definitely relate to that. I’ve put my foot in my mouth so many times just because I wasn’t raised to obey social convention.
I agree that Jubilee was misunderstood. I had no issue with anything she did the entire season. Her jokes were taken as serious comments which they weren’t and if she did say anything about being the “real” black woman on the show, that was probably a joke too. Even if it wasn’t, why did Amber and Jami wait til the WTA to talk about it? Maybe because they’re hoping to go to BIP?
But like I said, arguing about racial makeup is dumb to me. It makes racism seem petty when it’s a really serious problem that needs to be addressed in a serious way. The only way it’s going to end is if we can ALL talk about it in an open way and that includes white people. It shouldn’t be looked upon as just an issue that affects minority groups. It affects everyone and we should all feel like we have a place at the table when trying to find solutions. No one group is going to be able to overcome racism on its own.
I think you meant to address your “stand tall” comment to Olivia and Jubilee (not Amber). They’re both awesome. They’re just different than the typical hive-minded women who are on this show.
Thank you for commenting. I really appreciate your feedback. It’s scary as a white woman to talk about race but my principles demand I talk about it when I have something to say about it. So I’m glad what I said was well-received by someone.
🙂