ATFR
Chris Harrison teased all night that there was going to possibly be a wedding for the first time in Bachelor history on After the Final Rose. I almost thought it was going to happen because why else would they go to the trouble of flying out Ben’s pastor and the women’s families?
JoJo’s family must have felt like it was a waste of time. There’s no way they didn’t know she wasn’t the one Ben chose in the end. They could have just said that the family of the woman Ben chose was waiting in the wings and not shown them on camera. But I guess when The Bachelor says jump, everyone asks, “how high?”
I’m sure the fact that JoJo’s family undoubtedly also knew JoJo was going to be The Bachelorette was extra incentive to get them to show up.
It was also kind of a waste of time for Lauren’s family and Ben’s pastor too since they ultimately decided not to get married right then and there. Hopefully, they got to do some fun stuff while they were in L.A.
I don’t blame Ben and Lauren for not getting married on the ATFR. It’d not be much better than a Vegas wedding. That floral arch they set up was pretty cheesy and they didn’t have their friends there to celebrate with them. You have to have at least one grand wedding in your life so you know why Vegas-style weddings are better. Grand weddings cost too damn much, you’re too busy the whole time getting your picture taken to enjoy them, and there’s a high likelihood you’ll get divorced and you’ll have wasted the money.
But I wouldn’t know anything about that or anything…
The best part of the ATFR for me was when Chris Harrison said they were going to announce who the next Bachelorette was and it might not be who we thought it was. I suddenly had hope again that we were going to be spared a Caila season because the rumor has been floating around the blogosphere that Caila got the gig.
When JoJo and Ben were sitting on the couch together and they were both making it seem like they’d both moved on and were practically strangers now, my hopes grew even higher. And when Chris Harrison announced that JoJo was going to be The Bachelorette my reaction went a little something like this:
And then this:
And then this:
And, finally, this:
Because it just had to be JoJo. All is right with the universe again.
Alright, dear readers. Another season of The Bachelor franchise has come to an end and with that I must bid you adieu. But before I do, it’s time to take off my b*tch cap and perform the seasonal releasing ritual of the cast from their prescribed roles as the good, the bad, and the batsh*t:
Cast of Bachelor Season 20,
I hereby release you from your reality TV personas. Whether you were loved or hated on your season of the diabolical Bachelor franchise, reality TV is not reality. I’m sure you’re all fine people with something better than your 15 minutes of fame to contribute to the world. Take comfort in your friends and family because they are the ones that truly know you and love you for who you really are. Get therapy if you need to. May you be wise and return to the shadows of ordinary life where you are judged on the content of your character rather than the context of your edit. Should you choose to remain in the limelight, do it for the money and never forget who you really are when the cameras and microphones aren’t recording your every word and gesture. Live long and prosper.
See you next season, readers! I love you all!
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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:
Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese.
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.
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