The Two-On-One
I was surprised that there was another two-on-one but I had a feeling both girls were going home. There’s a shock-and-awe moment every season and this was it. It was obvious that Whitney was definitely going home. She hadn’t spent any time bonding with Nick and I think the only reason she got this far in the season is because she’s drop dead gorgeous.
Nick’s conversation with Whitney is predictably lackluster. Whitney doesn’t have much to talk about. I don’t think she’s unintelligent but she’s definitely an introvert. I expect we’ll see her on Paradise this summer and we’ll get to know her a little better.
We find out that Vanessa and Danielle M. don’t see Nick and “D-Lo” together even though they seem to like her. I trust their judgment more than anyone else’s on the show but I question Vanessa’s nicknaming abilities. However, I do like the nickname I would get using her rules: “E-Co” 😆 Sounds like a grocery store.
What does Nick think?
Thanks, buddy.
After Nick sends Whitney home (another girl left stranded on an island after being rejected on a two-on-one. Why is this necessary?), he and D-Lo go to dinner in an old prison. Because nothing says romance like the ghosts of dead murderers and rapists.
He hasn’t given her the rose yet which is the big tip-off that he probably isn’t going to give it to her.
The conversation at dinner is tense. You can tell Nick has something weighing on his mind. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see if Nick does the adult thing and cuts Danielle. It will blow my final four prediction but restore a little bit of my faith in Nick.
Nick: What kind of relationship are you looking for because even though I really want to marry your cleavage, I have to admit that I need you to have a brain too.
Danielle: I want honesty and communication and whatever you say YOU want in a relationship.
Nick: Okay but if you take out honesty and communication which are generic words all people say they want in a relationship without really knowing what they mean given, what are a couple of words you would use to describe the kind of relationship you’re looking for? Please, God, please let her have the vocabulary to express something compelling so I don’t have to say goodbye to those lovely tatas.
Danielle: Love, trust. What about you?
Nick: Dammit, there’s no getting around the fact that you’re an airhead Adventurous, raw words you don’t understand in the context of a relationship because you don’t have the depth or intellect to understand what I’m talking about. We love everything about each other the good and the bad. The person you feel you can be your full self around.
Danielle: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. I totally don’t get what you’re saying. I can see myself taking selfies with my new $50k engagement ring and doing press events with you falling in love with you.
Nick: If there was someone whose tits I wanted it to be, it would definitely be yours. I wanted to be able to give you this rose but I can’t because you answer every question I ask based on what you think I want to hear. It’s like talking to a beauty pageant contestant. The furthest I’ve gotten to wanting to get engaged, I realize now that maybe [what I was looking for] was more the idea of something than something real. And maybe that’s what’s holding me back.
Danielle: I don’t know what to say because you’re a sphinx. I said all the right things and I have amazing boobs. What else do you want from me?
Nick sends Danielle away in the f*ck-off van with a heavy heart.
Nick: I feel nothing. This is the second time someone’s told me that they’re falling in love with me and I don’t feel it. You’re not supposed to say goodbye to someone who has a bust heart as good as Danielle’s. Maybe there’s just something wrong with me am I gay? that I can’t reciprocate that kind of love. It’s hard not to wonder if all the other women I’m attracted to are as shallow as Danielle the same thing’s going to happen with my other strong relationships.
Danielle: I don’t know what his concerns can be that he doesn’t think this will work out. Maybe I just wasn’t perfect.
That’s the exact opposite of the response he was hoping for, honey. You were too perfect and that was the problem. He wanted to know if there was anything under the perfect eyebrows and perfect breasts and there isn’t. You’re not a bad person but you need to figure out who the hell you are before you can have a real relationship.
I’m hoping since Danielle went home in 7th place that we won’t have to sit through a season of her being Bachelorette. I would be happy to watch the seasons of any of the remaining contestants except for Kristina and Corinne but I don’t think either of them have a shot at it so I’m not worried.
Nick visits the hotel room of the remaining women unexpectedly. He’s crying and tells them he’s not sure if this is gonna work out. He doesn’t know if he can keep doing this.
In case any of you are worried, he’s going to keep doing this because he’s getting paid a boatload of money to keep doing it and he signed a contract.
To be continued…
I got a lot of requests for Tarot readings after I offered to do free ones last week. I was only able to do two last week. They take about 4 hours of my time and I did readings based on which ones I felt needed immediate attention. To all of you who asked for a reading, please keep your questions in your mind. It’s hard for me to be able to read for you if you don’t have a clear focus. But I’ve gotten good feedback on the readings I’ve done so far so I look forward to future readings.
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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:
Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese. (She has a new site. This is the updated link: foolishwatcher.com)
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.
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