Bachelorette Premiere Part 2: Kaitlyn Bristowe Wins the Night

The season previews for this show are notoriously misleading so I have zero faith that any of what they showed in the clips happened in the order that they actually are going to happen or for the reasons they imply they’re going to happen.

Here are some quick things before I get into the meat of it:

Amy Schumer is going to be a guest on the show. I think that’s going to be a lot of fun because she and Kaitlyn share a similar sense of humor.

Ben H. (remember the one I told you will make it to the final four in my last recap?) is going to be around for a while. They show clips of him in multiple locations with Kaitlyn, one of which is sitting in the back of an old pickup truck next to a house. Looks like a hometown date to me but again, I’m not sure. I DON’T think Ben H. will be the one standing in the end but I do think he may very well be the next Bachelor. Time will tell.

Ian at some point laughably says, “I question your intentions. I feel like you’re here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV.” Thank you, Captain Obvious. That’s what she’s being PAID to do. Did you not know what show you were going on? My opinion of Ian is starting to slide.

So next are the two bombshells:

Nick Viall is coming back. How? What? Why? I am a huge Nick fan but this has shade written all over it. I thought he got a bad edit last summer and I didn’t understand what the fuss was about with the guys thinking he was just trying to win. Nick’s a confident guy and he goes after what he wants. I did see a little bit of a bad boy in him at times but he seemed absolutely devastated by Andi’s defection and I was floored that she didn’t pick him. I was also furious at the way she treated him at the ATFR. My heart broke for Nick. The feeling stayed with me for about a week after the show ended.

And then I saw all the spoilers Reality Steve posted, including the airplane video where Nick was trashing Josh, the guy who Andi picked, on the phone right after he was sent home. Anyone could look at that and say it was sour grapes but 1) he had no idea he was being filmed by a total stranger in the row behind him on a freaking airplane, 2) he’d just had his heart broken and was venting to someone he trusted, and 3) I didn’t disagree with him about anything he said about Josh. I disliked Josh from the beginning. He struck me as total jock douche-nozzle who was arrogant and completely full of himself. I couldn’t believe he made it past week 1 let alone to the finale.

So I really felt for Nick. Not only was he still trying to get over Andi but he was being trashed publicly throughout the process. I felt so bad for him I considered writing him a letter but ultimately decided it would be too creepy.

I really haven’t thought a lot about Nick since that week after he got dumped but I started following him on Twitter right after the show ended to see if he was okay. I’m not on Twitter a lot but I logged in a couple of times and I saw that he was rooting for Kaitlyn to be the next Bachelorette earlier this year.

So here’s my problem. Nick definitely is coming back this season. There’s no question about that from the preview. He and Kaitlyn are seen making out a couple of times (which I’ll talk more about in a minute) and he’s seen talking to the guys. Now, I don’t know how long Nick is going to be on the show. I’ve directed and produced a film so I know a little bit about movie magic. Some of those clips of him talking to the guys could have been taken from last season and spliced in just so to make it seem like he’s on the show for longer than he actually is. They’ve done it before.

But whatever the case may be, The Bachelor ended in December and started airing in January and Nick started rooting for Kaitlyn to be the next Bachelorette a couple weeks before the season stopped airing. So what I want to know is if Nick likes Kaitlyn SOOOOO much that he’s coming back to crash this season, why did he push for her to be the Bachelorette? Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to try to get her number from production and make sure she WASN’T going to be the Bachelorette by sweeping her off her feet before they offered it to her?

It’s possible that it was too late in the game and production’s options were limited for the next Bachelorette so even if Nick had tried to connect with her, he would have been shut down. But sheesh, Nick. Don’t publicly root for a girl to be on a show where she’s going to get engaged to someone else when you like her.

My guess is that Nick is coming back ASAP because the signs behind them when they’re making out are in English and they’re in what looks like a big city. They’re going to New York (obvious from the flyover of the Statue of Liberty) so it may be there that he crashes the party.

As for their making out, the preview makes it look like Nick greets her with a kiss. I very much doubt this is the case. The only way I see Kaitlyn and Nick making out without sending the other men running for the hills is if Nick shows up, asks for a chance to be on the show, and Kaitlyn accepts. Then he gets a date and they make out on the date.

People from previous seasons have shown up before and asked for a chance with the lead but they are usually rejected. If Nick shows up and Kaitlyn gives him a chance, it will be the first time in the show’s history and I know it will cause absolute chaos. It will certainly make for good television.

There is a point in the preview where Nick says, “Don’t make out with the girl I like before I do.” This has to have been taken out of context because obviously, Kaitlyn has already made out with two guys and will likely make out with more before Nick arrives. Nick is not a dumb guy so he’ll know this coming into the show so for him to say that makes absolutely no sense.

I guess we’ll have to wait and find out but for now, my eagle eyes are on Nick. I will be very annoyed if my compassion for him was misplaced. I am not very forgiving of people who I put my faith in and then blindside me with their shadiness, be it in real life or on TV (I’m talking to you, Emily Maynard).

Enough about Nick. The next big shocker is that it appears Kaitlyn has sex with one of the contestants. The edit is kind of trying to get us to lean toward it being Nick but I think it’s Shawn B.  Their chemistry is off the charts and I’m pretty sure if Chris Harrison had given Kaitlyn an invitation to take Shawn to the fantasy suite right after she gave him the first impression rose, she would have jumped at the chance.

I’m not saying she’s a slut. I don’t think in those terms. It’s just that when you’re young and full of hormones and someone you have overwhelming chemistry with comes along, saying no when an opportunity presents itself to screw that person’s brains out is nigh impossible. It happened to me. It could happen to any woman. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. The only problem is that in this scenario, it’s almost a game-ender.

Maybe if Kaitlyn had kept quiet about it, it would have been okay. I don’t think she needed to tell anyone else in the house but it APPEARS that she does from the promo. I think it’s really hard for anyone to keep seeing a person as a potential spouse when you know they’ve slept with someone else. However, she is probably going to bang three guys in the fantasy suites in about 5 or 6 weeks so does it really matter that much that she hit it a couple weeks early with one of them? I think it only really matters if you know about it which is why she shouldn’t have said anything.

However, the other side of this equation is the obvious double standard between men and women when it comes to promiscuity. When Juan Pablo “had sex” with Claire in the ocean, Claire got blamed and the word “SLUT!!!” was trumpeted throughout the land. Yeah, I saw that episode and she didn’t but all of America assumed she did and trashed her for it. Did anyone trash Juan Pablo for having sex with Claire in the ocean? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

No. He got trashed for being an overall douche but I didn’t hear anyone calling JP a slut. But are people going to call Kaitlyn a slut? You bet your ass they are and the only way she can redeem herself in the public eye is to confess her crime and seek forgiveness which is why she DIDN’T keep her mouth shut.

This is why I think Shawn B. might be leaving sooner than expected. A casualty of love. If she has sex with him, admits it was a mistake, and sends him packing, the other guys just might stick around. The only thing that would save him is if she truly does fall in love with him but my gut says no. Besides, the show would be over then wouldn’t it? No way ABC is gonna let that happen.

Or they completely mind-f*cked us in the promo and she didn’t have sex with anyone on the show. Maybe what she’s copping to is having had sex with Nick before the show started. Or that she slept with Chris Soules in the fantasy suite. Very doubtful though.

It’s hard with these twists for me to make predictions about who’s going to make it to the final four.

I say Ben H. definitely makes it and Chris probably does.

Here are my other possibles in order of likelihood. This list will likely change/shorten next week:

• Shawn B.
• Ben Z.
• Ryan B.
• Joshua
• Joe
• Justin

Nick is kind of a wild card. I didn’t see him at many locations in the promo. I think he may end up being just a device to stir up trouble for a minute and then be gone. But you never know.

At the tail end of the show, Brady approaches Britt’s hotel room but my Tivo cut off right as he got there. I don’t even know if he knocked. I’m sure in time all will be revealed.

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