See and Say: What does the swan say?
Emily displays her inability to identify water fowl

Bachelor 2016: Episode 7 Recap

Bachelor 2016 Episode 7: Warsaw

Before I get into the episode, I’m very happy to report I got my first “Ask Emily” question on Monday. I’ll be posting it in the next couple of days. If you have any relationship or life questions you need help with, feel free to contact me.

Alright, so on night one, I predicted that the final 4 would be Amanda, JoJo, Lauren B. and the 4th person would be one of these 4: Becca, Jennifer, Caila, or Olivia. Well, that prediction turned out to be correct but a couple of weeks ago I decided Becca would be the 4th person and that she would make it to final two with Lauren.

Now that Becca is gone, I have had to rethink everything.

It’s true that they haven’t had an amazing connection but there is something very much wife material about Becca, especially for Ben. So I thought we just weren’t being shown the juicy parts between Ben and Becca to throw us off.

I am convinced Lauren  will be one of the final two women. But it’s hard to say who the other one will be.

The second strongest connection that Ben seems to have is with JoJo but if she makes it to the final two, that means she likely won’t be the next Bachelorette which I predicted pretty early on. There has been word around the campfire that ABC is considering going with a more diverse Bachelorette next season but the only possible candidates are Caila and Jubilee and Jubilee pretty much threw that opportunity away with her antics this season.

If Caila becomes The Bachelorette, I might die of boredom. She’s not exactly Bachelorette material being as “confusing” as she is and not sure if she can actually fall in love. Does anyone really want to watch Caila’s Bachelorette season? I sure don’t.

But if JoJo only makes it to final three and I’m right that she’s going to be the next Bachelorette, then who is the other woman Ben feels conflicted about? It has to be either Caila or Amanda since Lauren will almost certainly make it to final two. He has a connection with both of them but not anything close to what he has with Lauren from what we’ve seen.

However, deciding to meet Amanda’s family is huge since she has kids. If Ben didn’t feel something strong for her, I don’t think he would have taken her to hometowns unless he’s completely clueless about how big a deal it is to meet a single parent’s kids. The thing is, I just don’t see Amanda and Ben together.

But if Caila is one of the final two and Ben feels that torn between her and Lauren, then we haven’t been shown everything that’s going on between them because I don’t see them together either.

I also don’t see him with JoJo though so that only leaves Lauren to take home the prize… I mean Ben!

This is really a head-scratcher for me. The pieces of this puzzle are no longer falling into place.

The other thing that occurred to me which would really be a long shot and very unlikely is that Ben will suddenly feel remorse for letting Becca go and bring her back at the end. That’s never happened before and it’s improbable at best but if ABC wanted to mix things up this season, that would do the trick.

So I have more questions than answers now. The only thing I can do is sit back and watch the season play out. Only four more weeks until the finale.

Time to move on to the recap.

Ben’s Hometown

Was I the only one in shock from suddenly jumping from the Bahamas to Warsaw, Indiana? I wondered if I’d missed an episode or something. There was no warning and it was kind of depressing to go from the tropics to Indiana. I felt an overwhelming urge to pop a Prozac.

Grumpy Cat: Oh Lawd. Pass the Prozac.

I’m also not sure why it was important to go to Ben’s hometown since the final two will meet his parents in a couple of weeks and the only one who actually met his parents went home. So weird.

Ben meets his parents in a coffee shop to talk about the women he’s brought to Indiana, only one of whom they’ll meet.

I liked the sign in the shop that said, “No, we don’t have WiFi. Talk to each other.” That’s kind of overbearing for a coffee shop but also a funny commentary on our times.  I don’t get out much but I hear people are so obsessed with their phones that they don’t talk to each other when they go out together. Enjoying someone’s company has become so passe.

Ben then drives a boat (or a floating Moon Bounce, not sure which) to a dock to greet his remaining women. They’re all super excited to meet him. For some bizarre reason, Caila decides to try to stop the boat with her hands as it’s docking which, to her incredible surprise, smacks her backwards. I know it’s a relatively minor thing but it does make me question her ability to judge reality. Did she really think that would work? Was she one of those kids who jumped off the roof and flapped her arms like a bird because she believed she could fly?

Emily is smitten with Warsaw: “If Ben asked me to marry him, I’d just move her and have babies with him. It’s so cute!” You know what’s not cute? A woman with the mentality of a 5-year-old being responsible for raising other human beings.

Lauren gets a one-on-one and the other women are immediately jealous. Not only did she get the date but Ben actually ASKED HER OUT!!! Her date did not arrive on card-stock which seems to be a real sticking point for the other women. Uh… this isn’t exactly unprecedented, ladies. Lots of leads have shown up the day of a date and asked out the person they were taking on the one-one-one. I don’t get what the big deal is but they make it a big deal. I guess they have to do something to attempt to make the show interesting now that Olivia is gone 🙁

Ben and Lauren’s One-On-One

There’s no rose on the date so there’s no pressure on Ben to take Lauren to hometowns even though we all know he’s totally going to. (It’s nice that I no longer have to distinguish her from any other Laurens.)

We find out that Ben was the quarterback of his high school football team as Lauren and Ben ride around Warsaw revisiting Ben’s familiar haunts. How popular must he have been looking like he does, being as sweet as he is, and being the damn quarterback of his football team? I don’t know how he can possibly think he’s unlovable considering the amount of love that must have been thrown his way throughout his life.

But I think I’m beginning to understand why Ben chose to opt out of the “no sex before marriage” clause of Christianity:

So many cheerleaders, so little time.

During their ride around town, Ben tells Lauren the story of how he didn’t know how to kiss his first girlfriend and told her, “I want to kiss you but I don’t know how.” He then relays the laughter that ensued before he got his first kiss. Ben seems to think that wasn’t cool but that’s the absolute correct response. I would have laughed my butt off too.

Ben then reenacts the scene with Lauren. Awww… wait was that sweet or creepy?

The pair end up at an after school youth center where Ben used to teach kids how to play basketball.

Lauren and Ben proceed to interact with the kids like they’re running for office and we find out Lauren can do a respectable cartwheel.

They’re introduced to a kid named Ronnie. Ronnie is special in more than one way and ABC decides to exploit him in every way they can get away with without looking like total dicks because that’s how ABC rolls.

Apparently, Ronnie’s very adept at making half-court shots and the coach tells everyone that if Ronnie can make a half court shot, Lauren and Ben have to kiss. I’m pretty sure they’re gonna kiss anyway but I don’t want to steal Ronnie’s thunder.

Next, Ben brings in some famous basketball players from some famous Indiana team. I don’t know the names of the players or the team because as soon as anyone mentions sports, my brain goes into hibernation from lack of mental stimulation. The kids are thrilled. And Lauren is… thrilled too! Of course! Because she’s a huge basketball fan. Uh… yeah. Sure she is.

Ben continues his audition tape to be the next Bachelor when he goes to comfort a crying boy who has sidelined himself. Can someone tell Ben he already got the Bachelor gig? I don’t think he knows. But Lauren is impressed and that’s all that matters. She thinks he’ll make a great dad.

If Ben and Lauren’s hypothetical marriage were an ice cream flavor at Baskin Robbins, guess which one it would be? (Hint: It’s one of the flavors in Neapolitan and it’s not chocolate or strawberry.)

The kids at the youth group all think Ben and Lauren will get married. Meh. I don’t know. They clearly are really into each other but their relationship doesn’t really seem like the stuff of fairytales. It could just be temporary lust. It may sound ooga booga but I get a strong feeling in my gut when people on these shows are meant to be together. I haven’t really felt that yet with Ben and any of the women on the show and the season is almost over. I’m not sure Ben is going to find everlasting love as The Bachelor.

Back at the hotel room, a one-on-one date card arrives for JoJo: “Let’s explore the windy city.” Gee, I wonder where they’re going. I can’t believe the women actually have a debate about whether it’s Warsaw or Chicago. Mental giants they are not.

Emily is terrified of what will happen if she doesn’t get a one-on-one this week. Oh, sweetie. It doesn’t really matter what kind of date you get. You’re going home regardless.

On the night time portion of Ben and Lauren’s date, they quickly and easily dispense with Leah’s comments from last week. Shocking. They didn’t even have to get to the part where they make out under a waterfall for Ben to gloss over any potential red flags, real or fabricated, with regard to his favorite girlfriend.

In an ITM, Lauren says she’s no longer in love with Ben the Bachelor. She’s in love with Ben from Warsaw, Indiana.

I have no response to that

 

JoJo and Ben’s One-On-One

JoJo and Ben make a trip to CHICAGO (shocking) to visit Wrigley Field. I am immediately transported back to 1985 when Ferris Bueller caught a fly ball while watching a Cubs game on his day off. I’m actually so bored with the show right now, I could turn it off and put on the John Hughes’ classic instead.

They throw the ball around. JoJo is surprised when she has to run after the ball when Ben hits it past her. Okay, I may hate sports and not understand the rules of football (which I’m convinced were written at one of The Mad Hatter’s tea parties) but I know how freaking baseball works. (I don’t know why this scene from Clueless just popped into my head.)

Clueless: Balls fly at my nose

 

At dinner, Ben expresses concern over JoJo’s constant pulling away from him. We hear more standard Bachelor fare: “In the past, I felt like I gave more than I got. I need to feel safe…” Blah, blah, blah… kissy, kissy, makeup and suddenly JoJo is “more team Ben than she’s ever been.” And I’m more team Olivia than I’ve ever been. This might have been the most dramatic boring episode of the Bachelor yet!

The Group Date

Becca, Amanda, and Caila are on the group date. There’s a rose. Whoever gets it gets an automatic free pass to hometowns.

They row down a river to somewhere. (You can tell how riveting this episode was for me.) Becca and Amanda in one boat and Caila and Ben in the other.

Becca and Amanda: Wahhh! Not fair!

Caila: Suck it, b*tches!

All’s fair in love and war and nowhere is that more true than on The Bachelor.

When they get to the barn looking place where they’re to enjoy the intense awkwardness of the traditional 3-on-1, the women are informed that only the woman who gets the rose will continue on to the second portion of the date. As if the situation wasn’t tense enough already.

Becca let’s Ben know she’s been feeling really stressed and hasn’t felt validated. She asks Ben not to blindside her.

Caila is afraid Ben won’t want her because she doesn’t have deep roots like he does. She only has a mom and a dad to introduce him to. My eye is starting to twitch. Does this girl have any actual real problems? Why is she crying about this? I will really not be happy if I have to sit through Caila’s season.

Amanda is really nervous about introducing Ben to her daughters as well she should be. Ben gives Amanda the rose and, honestly, I think that’s the only real option he had under the circumstances. You can’t put a single mom on a date with two other women when you could potentially be meeting her kids the next week without giving her the rose. Because if he had given the rose to Caila, then Amanda would feel Ben liked Caila more and no mom wants to introduce a man to her kids if she’s essentially told point blank that he likes someone else more than he likes her.

I’d turn the guy down. I have no problems introducing people to my other family members but if I were a single mom, there’s no way I’d introduce my kid to a guy unless I thought it was really serious. I didn’t meet my ex-boyfriend’s son until we’d been dating about 7 months. I personally feel it’s inappropriate to bring a new man or woman home every week to foist on your children. They could get attached or start to believe that romantic relationships are disposable.

If I were Amanda, I wouldn’t introduce my kids to Ben unless he proposed. There’s very little doubt that Ben would make a great father so I see no reason Amanda needs to test drive Ben with her kids. The important thing is whether Ben and Amanda have a strong enough connection to make Ben want to be an instant father. I don’t see it but I also didn’t see Becca leaving either so what do I know?

This was the point in the episode where I really started to get nervous about Becca leaving. The fact that Ben didn’t give her the rose on the group date and the way Becca was freaking out about Ben not validating her set alarm bells off in my head. Becca isn’t one for histrionics so for her to actually get upset and reveal she wasn’t getting anything back from Ben spoke volumes.

Up Next: Ben and Amanda’s “One-On-One”, Emily and Ben’s One-On-One, and the Final Four

[jetpack-related-posts]

8 thoughts on “Bachelor 2016: Episode 7 Recap

  1. Your recap was far more interesting than this episode. Yawn, yawn, yawn… because, BORING. I miss Olivia. 😉
    Also– stupid, dumb, obvious McDonalds plug. First, Ben was in a bunch of McDonalds commercials, and now this. Poor Amanda. What an amazing date. I’m sure as a mother of two young children, she’s NEVER been in a McDonalds before.
    Lastly, I’m as flummoxed by the Becca thing as you. Something is indeed “off” with these final four.

    • Hi, Melissa.

      I miss Olivia too. The product placement stuff with McDonald’s went right over my head but I read about it on other blogs after I wrote mine. I forgot Ben had been doing commercials for McDonald’s all season. It makes sense now why they were there. It’s just lame. Amanda went from hanging out in the Bahamas with a shirtless Ben to hanging out in a McDonald’s in Indiana working the drive-thru with him fully-clothed. Not cool.

      And the makeshift carnival did not make up for it. I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in fast food but you get that grease in your clothes and hair. It’s gross. I’m pretty sure Amanda was more interested in taking a shower than going to a carnival.

      It was an amazing date for Amanda’s kids, just not for Amanda.

      I agree this episode was super boring. I had trouble writing about it because there was so very little to sink my teeth into. A couple of the other bloggers had off weeks too. I suspect it was from lack of material.

      I don’t see Ben marrying any of the girls left. I also accidentally read a spoiler when I was posting my links on Reality Steve’s site. It’s okay. Something I predicted early on but I still hate knowing. I feel like I have a Bachelor STD now that I know something is going to happen. I won’t say anything though until the finale.

      I think Ben should bring Becca back. I know she doesn’t open up as easily as the other girls but that should be a good thing. In the real world, we’d call it sane if a woman wasn’t ready to get engaged to a man they’d only spoken to for under 24 hours total over the course of 7 weeks.

      I would be fine with Lauren being the final girl if I knew more about her but I’m not sure if there’s anything TO know about her. Maybe she just doesn’t have much of a personality.

      Thanks for your comment. It’s very much appreciated as always! 🙂

  2. Caila is too young and giggly to be the next Bachelorette, (though I guess they’re all young, even for this franchise.) Please not baby voiced Amanda either (and part of me cynically thinks he was asked to keep her for the drama of a child for hometowns). I guess Becca would be good (3rd time’s a charm?) As for Vanilla Ben (aka Sherlock Higgins – hilarious): Jojo is too extroverted to be with him – also, she dresses kinda slutty IMO. She reminds me a lot of Andi & Kaitlyn: funny chicks you’d want to befriend at a bar. So she’s be a fun B’ette that we’ve seen before.

    I saw chemistry during Lauren B-now-just-Lauren’s 1st date, and thought they would be a great couple (though I doubted she knew any of those Indiana pro bball players any more than we did). Speaking of Laurens: I wasn’t a huge Lauren H fan until her retainer talking head. As much as I’d love to see her on BiP, I hope she finds real love in the real world.

    Count me in for liking the “No, we don’t have WiFi. Talk to each other.” sign at the Warsaw coffee shop. I once saw a date where the guy was playing solitaire under the table. Not nice. I wonder why Vanilla didn’t bring each of that week’s date to his local bar, so his friends could meet all of them.

    I agree there was no way was Emily was even close to “winning”. Imagine taking her out to dinner and she asks for the kids’ menu!?!

    Great post and pic of the See-and-Say! Especially funny was the blind, armless cupid out of arrows.

    • Hi, Jennifer.

      Thanks for the comment.

      I agree with you about Caila and Amanda. I don’t want to see either of their turns as The Bachelorette. JoJo is very much what we’re used to in a Bachelorette. A B’ette needs to be sexy, fun, outgoing, and be willing to kiss a bunch of dudes on national TV. I’d be happy to watch Becca’s season but her virginity presents a stumbling block to her playing tonsil hockey with multiple men she barely knows. I’m fine with the lead not kissing a lot of people but most of Bachelor Nation likes a little soft core porn (VERY soft core) with their biannual viewing of the franchise. (Triannual I guess if you count Paradise which seems like a hotbed for STDs to me.)

      Aren’t the women supposed to dress slutty on this show? I thought it was in their contract. 😛

      How bad does a date have to go that you’d rather play Solitaire on your phone than actually talk to your date? I’m going to go out on a limb and say those two didn’t make it.

      I definitely see chemistry between Ben and Lauren. I just don’t know enough about her to be able to say, “They’re a match made in heaven.” Right now, their relationship seems strictly hormone-based.

      “Lauren B-now-just-Lauren’s” <-Funny! I'm glad you enjoyed my recap and my silly armless cupid joke! 🙂 Thanks for your feedback! Always appreciated!

  3. Nice summary! Is it just me or was Emily flirting with Ben’s dad? Maybe it’s just reflexive for her (and obviously she wasn’t *actually* trying to get with him) but I found it a little gross.
    Keep up the nice work!

    • Hi, Stacy.

      I didn’t notice Emily trying to flirt with Ben’s dad. I was too busy laughing at the fact that Emily’s lack of mental prowess and maturity actually brought his mother to tears.

      Thank you for the compliments! Feedback is always appreciated. 🙂

  4. Becca + Ben. Honestly, I never see this working out. While they talked about the no-sex deal and Ben was “ok” with it. In real life, Ben living without it – I can’t see that working. I read some article about Ben trying to pick up a girl at the bar prior to the Bachelorette where his pick-up line was he studied/minored in human sexuality.

    Caila for Bachelorette. Yeah, I’m not on that bandwagon either, even though she is getting the bubbly, sex panther edit/press. She is confusing and seems too young/naive on camera. I would like to see more of JoJo finding love.

    • Hey, Leilani.

      Thanks for the comment.

      I hadn’t heard the story of Ben trying to pick up a girl at a bar using that line. There is a lot of gossip floating around about the people on these shows so I have to take it with a grain of salt but if he said it, it seems kind of sleazy. I guess it depends on the delivery but I probably wouldn’t be amused by such a pickup line.

      As for Becca and Ben, I guess I just thought she was the only one who was possibly ready for the kind of commitment Ben seems to be looking for. I didn’t see a lot of intense passion between them either but Becca seemed to really like him and with the editing, I could see their connection being hidden from us. But I guess there really wasn’t anything there.

      I’m much more interested in seeing a season with JoJo than with Caila. Caila is too ditzy for my tastes. I want to see someone with some common sense as a lead.

      I appreciate your feedback! Thank you! 🙂

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