The Reign of Lee
The Reign of Lee

Bachelorette 2017 – Episode 4 5 6 Recap

Bachelorette 2017 Episode 4 5 6 recap

Hi, Guys.

I’ve been dragging ass on blogging about this season. I did respond to everyone’s comments a couple of weeks ago. I’m sorry for the delay on that. I very much appreciate all your feedback and support. It really keeps me going.

Honestly, I’m not finding a lot of material to work with on Rachel’s season. I think Rachel is an awesome lead but her guys are neither bad nor good enough to be interesting. Without great characters, it’s hard to temporarily suspend disbelief (as I do every season) that I’m not watching the same show over and over again with different faces.

I do, however, enjoy Josiah as ridiculous as he is. He’s both extremely witty and extremely un-self-aware, a fun combination. I hope somehow he ends up on Paradise.

Lee is awful but not as compelling a villain as Chad. His hair is completely ridiculous. Obviously, he went to the Johnny Bravo School for Combing Your Hair Really Fast. It’s hard to take a man seriously when a third of his height is comprised of his hair.

I’m not going to do a full recap of each episode I’m running behind on. I’ll mention some highlights from the last 3 episodes and give some thoughts but I’m pressed for time and motivation.

My recap for the episode that aired last night will be posted later this week.

Episode 4

Oh, right. Before Lee decided to prey on Kenny’s insecurities, he preyed on Eric’s. That feels like ages ago.

This episode begins with a continuation of the drama between Lee and another cast member at a cocktail party (just like every episode this season until Rachel finally gave Lee the boot).

While Lee is still tormenting Eric, he decides it’s time to pick another fight with another member of the cast by interrupting Kenny while he’s talking to Rachel to give her a really embarrassing etching of the word “enchanting” on a scrap of wood. It looks like he also attended the Johnny Bravo School for How to Pick Up Chicks.

If he was trying to impress Rachel, FAIL. If he was trying to pick a fight with Kenny, Mission Accomplished.

I think my favorite part of the season so far has been the conversation between Dean and Brady trying to figure out the difference between quirks and quarks at this cocktail party. It’s a race to the bottom that’s capped off when Jack the Ripper interjects to let them know that quarks are the things that plug the tops of wine bottles.

physics_reality_show_contestants

Rachel is afraid Bryan’s charm is too good to be true. Bryan responds by saying this is a fairy tale and it’s 1000% real.

man_unicorn_1000_percent

The Kenny and Lee drama begins. I really don’t care what they’re fighting about and I’m going to continue to not care about it for the next two episodes even though the Bachelor producers are going to do their best to try to convince me that it ends in bloodshed in the teasers for future episodes but I already know it won’t because THEY DO THE SAME THING EVERY F*CKING SEASON AND IT NEVER F*CKING DOES.

Rose Ceremony

Anthony, Eric, and Alex have roses.

  1. Will
  2. Dean
  3. Jonathan
  4. Peter
  5. Adam
  6. Bryan
  7. Matt
  8. Josiah
  9. Jack
  10. Iggy
  11. Kenny
  12. Lee

Rachel seemed reluctant to say Lee’s name but it’s in her contract to keep the villain until the two-on-one so she (and we) must endure him for another two episodes.

Diggy, Bryce, and Brady go home.

South Carolina

A one-on-one card arrives for Dean after the boys finish exclaiming over their hotel room which is in their contracts.

“Dean, Our love is about to take off. – Rachel”

Eric gets his panties in a twist because he hasn’t gotten a one-on-one yet. Only two other guys before Dean got one-on-ones. Simmer down.

Rachel takes Dean for a “picnic” which consists entirely of champagne. That’s not a picnic. It’s a prelude to date rape a blimp ride. I guess you have to be drunk to get on a blimp?

Rachel drives the blimp. Then Dean drives the blimp. The guys back at the hotel see the blimp go by. A scrolling sign on the outside informs them that Dean and Rachel are inside (hearts and stars) and Eric’s head is about to explode AGAIN. A fun time is had by all.

When Rachel and Dean have dinner, we get our once-a-season sob story about a contestant’s parent who died of cancer when they were young. I’m not saying watching a loved one die of cancer isn’t hard but is there no other way we can empathize with these people than through hearing that one of their relatives died of cancer?

Maybe if the producers spent a little more time looking for personality and a little less time looking for meatheads and Barbie dolls with sad stories to tell (who doesn’t have a sad story to tell?), I might not be as bored out of my skull as I currently am watching this season.

Dean gets the rose because so one with a cancer story goes home the night they tell it.

Next Up: Episode 4 part 2, Episode 5, Episode 6

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38 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2017 – Episode 4 5 6 Recap”

  1. BEST RECAP EVER!!!! I laughed so hard reading this that I had to read it a second time and I am still laughing. Emily, your sense of humor is priceless!! This was so worth the wait. I’m grateful you took the time to write it. Thanks for providing me with my laughter therapy!

    • Hi, Marla.

      Thanks so much for your feedback and support. I’m glad I could provide you with laughter therapy!

      🙂

  2. I agree with Maria! This recap was one of your very BEST!!! Thanks for continuing to write. I don’t mind waiting to be entertained! Actually recapping a couple episodes at once makes a lot of sense, especially this season when there have been more than a couple episodes with not much happening! You had some great lines in there Emily. Your take on Lee had me laughing. His hair was way too much. I’m not certain that Bryan is as sincere & invested as Rachel but I’m hoping I’m wrong. She really didn’t have the most interesting group of guys but I’m still curious to see how it all plays out.

    • Hey, Julie.

      Sorry for the delayed response. I hope you subscribe to the comments or you’ll never see this.

      I guess we know now how the season turned out. I still don’t trust Bryan but I’m hoping I’m wrong since I want Rachel to be happy.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the recap. Thank you so much for your continued feedback and support! I really appreciate it.

      🙂

  3. I am pretty sure you covered it all and for the first time in weeks I enjoyed this very boring season, love Rachel, but I agree that she has lousy taste in men. Just like Marla and Julie I love your humor. You brought on the laughter. So worth the wait. Thank you!

    • Hey, Vicki.

      I’m glad the recap was worth the wait. Sorry for the delayed response. I’ve been running out of time every day for the last couple of months.

      I’m glad I could make the season a little better for you. For me, the most fascinating part was the last episode. If only the whole season had been that compelling.

      Thank you for your feedback and support!

      🙂

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