Bachelor 2017 Finale Recap
Hi, Bachelor Nation.
Sorry I’ve been AWOL the last few weeks. I got hit with a pretty bad virus and I just didn’t have the energy to do much of anything. School also started so that has been my priority when I wasn’t trying to just get through the day.
I’m not going to do a full recap of the finale or a full recap of the episodes I missed. I’m just going to give you my final thoughts on the season and then I’ll see where I’m at when Rachel’s season premieres. I’m considering calling it quits because this blog just takes up all my spare time (which isn’t much) when the seasons are airing. And believe it or not, there are things I care about a lot more than The Bachelor franchise. 😛
I’m going to do a very brief recap of the episodes I didn’t cover and then move onto the outcome.
Hometowns
I was so incredibly bored by the hometowns this season that I was going to rewrite each visit to make them more entertaining. I actually did get through a full rewrite of Raven’s hometown visit but I would have had to put pictures with it and I just didn’t have time to do that and rewrite everyone else’s hometown date so I scrapped the idea.
Raven’s Hometown
What struck me most about Raven’s hometown date was how fast Nick was going on that damned quad runner. Was that a stuntman? He seriously could have died.
And making out in the mud?
Rachel’s Hometown
What stood out to me about Rachel’s hometown was that her beautiful older sister, Constance, married Mel Gibson’s best friend from Braveheart. Really, why?
Corinne’s Hometown
Nick is the only Bachelor in the franchise’s history to get the “Pretty Woman” date. I’m surprised Corinne didn’t tell the sales clerk to order them a pizza. Anyway, I can’t believe the Bachelor producers Corinne spent $3000 on a flimsy pale gray sweater and a pair of skinny jeans (because, you know, Nick needed another pair). I have the exact same outfit and it didn’t cost any thousands (or even hundreds) of dollars:
Also, Raquel was very sweet but if Corinne really considers her a family member, why does she still make her family member make dinner for everyone and wait on her hand and foot? I also thought it was funny that Nick spent more time talking to Raquel than he did to Corinne’s mom. I’m sure the producers didn’t plan that or anything.
Vanessa’s Hometown
I’m almost certain that the Grimaldis used Ragu on their lasagna when they found out Nick was a dumb American. I’m also 99% sure that Vanessa’s brother is Seth Green’s long lost twin.
I can’t believe how much crying there was on this date. I was stunned when Vanessa got upset when she found out that Nick had asked other parents for their daughters’ hands in marriage. She is absolutely right about one thing: She should DEFINITELY have watched an entire season of The Bachelor before agreeing to be on the show. She came across as very prudish and demanding in the final weeks because of not understanding the process.
And if she wanted to stay and teach her special needs kids, how did she think that would work if she got engaged to an American? Did she think that through before she left? I mean she might have thought that she was just going for an 8-week vacay and then she’d be back but there was always the chance she was going to be the one of 30 to get engaged. Did she not account for that possibility? Did she think it was just so remote that it wasn’t something she considered? I don’t get it.
Why TF Did Andi Show Up at Nick’s Hotel Room?
Seriously, what was the point of that interaction? If you read Andi’s book, you’ll know that she doesn’t give two sh*ts about Nick. She doesn’t care about him at all and they’re not friends. There was no way in hell she was going to try to get him back and I think we all knew that.
It was definitely staged drama by the producers but to what end? There were only three somewhat pertinent issues discussed during their conversation:
- Nick apologized to Andi for the, “If you weren’t in love with me, why did you make love with me?” comment during her ATFR.
- Nick wasn’t going to get engaged to one of the remaining women just because he was the Bachelor.
- Nick might not use the fantasy suite as intended (yeah, right).
Out of curiosity, did Nick apologizing to Andi for that comment change anyone’s mind about him?
I’d really like to know because if it did, then maybe that was the point of the whole setup. But it was all staged because Nick tracked Andi down several months after the AFTR, went to her apartment, and apologized to her in person for the comment. It’s in her book.
I also know that one of the reasons Andi reacted so strongly when Nick made that comment is because Josh is an abusive douchebag and she was going to catch hell from him when he found out Andi slept with Nick in the fantasy suite. Andi’s outrage over the comment was not as intense as it may have appeared on TV. Or, at least, the outrage wasn’t for the reason she made it out to be.
I know a lot of people really hated Nick for that comment but I had no issue with it. It was his only chance to get closure from Andi and people are way too uptight about sex in this country. What did we think went on in the fantasy suites? Did we think people just played checkers and drank lemonade until dawn? So Nick is a douche for stating the obvious?
I’m not saying Nick isn’t a douche for other reasons (not saying he is either) but I don’t get why him revealing that he and Andi had sex in the fantasy suite was such a big deal.
So onto the second thing that Andi and Nick’s conversation highlighted: Nick’s not getting engaged just because he’s the Bachelor. To which I reply, the f*ck he isn’t.
This was Nick’s LAST chance to get this right. However much I dislike this particular trait of Nick’s, I know he very much cares about his public image. There was no way in hell he wasn’t getting engaged this time. He would view it as letting us down thus tarnishing his brand. Come hell or high water, Nick was basically obligated to get engaged. He would have made himself a laughing stock if he didn’t and would have been persona non grata to Bachelor producers for ruining the season. The Bachelor is Nick’s bread and butter at this point. Without it, he’s back to selling software.
And the third thing: Nick might not have sex in the fantasy suite? Well, if you saw Nick and Vanessa playing the “Newly Engaged” game on Kimmel, you know they at least had sex in Finland so… what exactly was the point of Andi coming on the show?
She really just shouldn’t have been there. The conversation, from my point of view, was utterly pointless and contrived.
Raven Never Had an Orgasm?
Well, that was interesting. I was surprised when I found that out. The question is, did Nick really sleep with Raven and give her her first orgasm or was that just an implication?
I was reading some Facebook comments on the Ultimate Bachelor Fan Page and people were saying that Raven was tarnished now because she revealed TMI about her sex life. Really?
I also listened to a podcast where two guys were discussing the show and they said that it was super wrong of Raven to announce publicly her ex’s lack of prowess in the bedroom. Again, really? She caught the guy f*cking another woman but she’s rude for saying he never gave her an orgasm? I don’t even care if she lied about it. The ex totally deserved it. But even if he hadn’t cheated on her, who the f*ck cares about Raven’s ex-boyfriend’s prowess in bed? I know I don’t.
HE does because he’s come out publicly and refuted her statements but we are focused on Raven, not her douchey ex. It would have blown over for him a lot more easily if he’d just said nothing.
The only other interesting thing that happened during the fantasy suite dates was it was the first time I noticed tension starting to build between Nick and Vanessa. I thought the producers were just editing the show that way to make us think they didn’t end up together but after seeing the ATFR, I’m thinking that was only the beginning of their struggles as a couple.
The Women Tell All
I needed to hear Taylor and Corinne argue about napping like I needed a hole in the head. I am sorry that Taylor’s interaction with Corinne has had a negative impact on her career but it was totally unreasonable for Taylor to shift the blame for that onto Corinne and then expect her to apologize.
Taylor, if you’re having problems in your career because of being on this show, it’s because of YOUR actions, not Corinne’s. You shouldn’t have sunk to her level but you did and not even the passage of four months since your fight with Corinne gave you enough clarity to figure out how not to engage with her AGAIN. So I don’t really care what kind of degree you hold from what university. Maybe you shouldn’t be counseling people until you figure your own sh*t out.
I am glad that Taylor finally did the only thing she could do in dealing with someone like Corinne which was to apologize to her for her actions. Corinne was never going to apologize and the fact that Taylor expected it makes me seriously question her career choice. The only thing she could have ever done to come out of the situation on top was to be the bigger person and she failed to do that over and over and over and over again.
Next: The Finale
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