Are Nick and Vanessa doomed? ©2017 ABC

Bachelor 2017 Finale Recap

Bachelor 2017 Finale Recap

Hi, Bachelor Nation.

Sorry I’ve been AWOL the last few weeks. I got hit with a pretty bad virus and I just didn’t have the energy to do much of anything. School also started so that has been my priority when I wasn’t trying to just get through the day.

I’m not going to do a full recap of the finale or a full recap of the episodes I missed. I’m just going to give you my final thoughts on the season and then I’ll see where I’m at when Rachel’s season premieres. I’m considering calling it quits because this blog just takes up all my spare time (which isn’t much) when the seasons are airing. And believe it or not, there are things I care about a lot more than The Bachelor franchise. 😛

I’m going to do a very brief recap of the episodes I didn’t cover and then move onto the outcome.


I was so incredibly bored by the hometowns this season that I was going to rewrite each visit to make them more entertaining. I actually did get through a full rewrite of Raven’s hometown visit but I would have had to put pictures with it and I just didn’t have time to do that and rewrite everyone else’s hometown date so I scrapped the idea.

Raven’s Hometown

What struck me most about Raven’s hometown date was how fast Nick was going on that damned quad runner.  Was that a stuntman? He seriously could have died.


And making out in the mud?


Rachel’s Hometown

What stood out to me about Rachel’s hometown was that her beautiful older sister, Constance, married Mel Gibson’s best friend from Braveheart. Really, why?


Corinne’s Hometown

Nick is the only Bachelor in the franchise’s history to get the “Pretty Woman” date. I’m surprised Corinne didn’t tell the sales clerk to order them a pizza. Anyway, I can’t believe the Bachelor producers Corinne spent $3000 on a flimsy pale gray sweater and a pair of skinny jeans (because, you know, Nick needed another pair). I have the exact same outfit and it didn’t cost any thousands (or even hundreds) of dollars:


Also, Raquel was very sweet but if Corinne really considers her a family member, why does she still make her family member make dinner for everyone and wait on her hand and foot? I also thought it was funny that Nick spent more time talking to Raquel than he did to Corinne’s mom. I’m sure the producers didn’t plan that or anything.

Vanessa’s Hometown

I’m almost certain that the Grimaldis used Ragu on their lasagna when they found out Nick was a dumb American. I’m also 99% sure that Vanessa’s brother is Seth Green’s long lost twin.


I can’t believe how much crying there was on this date. I was stunned when Vanessa got upset when she found out that Nick had asked other parents for their daughters’ hands in marriage. She is absolutely right about one thing: She should DEFINITELY have watched an entire season of The Bachelor before agreeing to be on the show. She came across as very prudish and demanding in the final weeks because of not understanding the process.

And if she wanted to stay and teach her special needs kids, how did she think that would work if she got engaged to an American? Did she think that through before she left? I mean she might have thought that she was just going for an 8-week vacay and then she’d be back but there was always the chance she was going to be the one of 30 to get engaged. Did she not account for that possibility? Did she think it was just so remote that it wasn’t something she considered? I don’t get it.

Why TF Did Andi Show Up at Nick’s Hotel Room?

Seriously, what was the point of that interaction? If you read Andi’s book, you’ll know that she doesn’t give two sh*ts about Nick. She doesn’t care about him at all and they’re not friends. There was no way in hell she was going to try to get him back and I think we all knew that.

It was definitely staged drama by the producers but to what end? There were only three somewhat pertinent issues discussed during their conversation:

  1. Nick apologized to Andi for the, “If you weren’t in love with me, why did you make love with me?” comment during her ATFR.
  2. Nick wasn’t going to get engaged to one of the remaining women just because he was the Bachelor.
  3. Nick might not use the fantasy suite as intended (yeah, right).

Out of curiosity, did Nick apologizing to Andi for that comment change anyone’s mind about him?

I’d really like to know because if it did, then maybe that was the point of the whole setup. But it was all staged because Nick tracked Andi down several months after the AFTR, went to her apartment, and apologized to her in person for the comment. It’s in her book.

I also know that one of the reasons Andi reacted so strongly when Nick made that comment is because Josh is an abusive douchebag and she was going to catch hell from him when he found out Andi slept with Nick in the fantasy suite. Andi’s outrage over the comment was not as intense as it may have appeared on TV. Or, at least, the outrage wasn’t for the reason she made it out to be.

I know a lot of people really hated Nick for that comment but I had no issue with it. It was his only chance to get closure from Andi and people are way too uptight about sex in this country. What did we think went on in the fantasy suites? Did we think people just played checkers and drank lemonade until dawn? So Nick is a douche for stating the obvious?

I’m not saying Nick isn’t a douche for other reasons (not saying he is either) but I don’t get why him revealing that he and Andi had sex in the fantasy suite was such a big deal.

So onto the second thing that Andi and Nick’s conversation highlighted: Nick’s not getting engaged just because he’s the Bachelor. To which I reply, the f*ck he isn’t.

This was Nick’s LAST chance to get this right. However much I dislike this particular trait of Nick’s, I know he very much cares about his public image. There was no way in hell he wasn’t getting engaged this time. He would view it as letting us down thus tarnishing his brand. Come hell or high water, Nick was basically obligated to get engaged. He would have made himself a laughing stock if he didn’t and would have been persona non grata to Bachelor producers for ruining the season. The Bachelor is Nick’s bread and butter at this point. Without it, he’s back to selling software.

And the third thing: Nick might not have sex in the fantasy suite? Well, if you saw Nick and Vanessa playing the “Newly Engaged” game on Kimmel, you know they at least had sex in Finland so… what exactly was the point of Andi coming on the show?

She really just shouldn’t have been there. The conversation, from my point of view, was utterly pointless and contrived.

Raven Never Had an Orgasm?

Well, that was interesting. I was surprised when I found that out. The question is, did Nick really sleep with Raven and give her her first orgasm or was that just an implication?

I was reading some Facebook comments on the Ultimate Bachelor Fan Page and people were saying that Raven was tarnished now because she revealed TMI about her sex life. Really?

I also listened to a podcast where two guys were discussing the show and they said that it was super wrong of Raven to announce publicly her ex’s lack of prowess in the bedroom. Again, really? She caught the guy f*cking another woman but she’s rude for saying he never gave her an orgasm? I don’t even care if she lied about it. The ex totally deserved it. But even if he hadn’t cheated on her, who the f*ck cares about Raven’s ex-boyfriend’s prowess in bed? I know I don’t.

HE does because he’s come out publicly and refuted her statements but we are focused on Raven, not her douchey ex. It would have blown over for him a lot more easily if he’d just said nothing.

The only other interesting thing that happened during the fantasy suite dates was it was the first time I noticed tension starting to build between Nick and Vanessa. I thought the producers were just editing the show that way to make us think they didn’t end up together but after seeing the ATFR, I’m thinking that was only the beginning of their struggles as a couple.

The Women Tell All

I needed to hear Taylor and Corinne argue about napping like I needed a hole in the head. I am sorry that Taylor’s interaction with Corinne has had a negative impact on her career but it was totally unreasonable for Taylor to shift the blame for that onto Corinne and then expect her to apologize.

Taylor, if you’re having problems in your career because of being on this show, it’s because of YOUR actions, not Corinne’s. You shouldn’t have sunk to her level but you did and not even the passage of four months since your fight with Corinne gave you enough clarity to figure out how not to engage with her AGAIN. So I don’t really care what kind of degree you hold from what university. Maybe you shouldn’t be counseling people until you figure your own sh*t out.

I am glad that Taylor finally did the only thing she could do in dealing with someone like Corinne which was to apologize to her for her actions. Corinne was never going to apologize and the fact that Taylor expected it makes me seriously question her career choice. The only thing she could have ever done to come out of the situation on top was to be the bigger person and she failed to do that over and over and over and over again.

Next: The Finale


15 thoughts on “Bachelor 2017 Finale Recap

  1. Thank you AGAIN for your recaps! You have been a bright spark in a pretty bad year. Hope you ace your classes! It has been a pleasure reading your thoughts.

    • Hello, Caroline.

      I’m so sorry for the very long delay in responding to the final comments of Nick’s season. That goes to everyone who might be following the comments.

      I’ve been hemming and hawing about whether or not to continue the recaps. If I do, they will have to be much shorter and with a lot less bells and whistles. But the comments I got on my last recap are what made me feel like I shouldn’t give up altogether.

      Thank you for reading and thank you for your feedback and support! 🙂

  2. Thank you so much for all your incredibly hard work this season, in sharing your talent with us! We love you! 🙂 I, for one, totally understand if you need to stop, but I hope you will still watch and tweet if possible, since I would love to hear your thoughts on Rachel’s “journey.” Thanks again for everything, and for hanging in there this season!
    p.s. What you said about Nick at the end there… great stuff. I couldn’t agree more.

    • Hi, Melissa.

      The comments I received for the last episode as well as the connections I’ve made through doing the tarot readings for people have convinced me that I should probably continue to blog about the show in some capacity. It will probably not be to the extent I have been blogging though. There just isn’t enough time.

      I decided to watch DWTS because Nick is on it just in case he says something interesting and to keep an eye on him and Vanessa. The show is a dead bore – WAY too Disney for me – but I still want to track his progress. I don’t know what he’s doing with his life. I hope he knows what he’s doing but some of his actions definitely seem questionable and inauthentic.

      Thanks so much for your continued feedback and support! 🙂

  3. I’ve been worried about you! Thanks for the recaps. I know it’s hard work – I actually tried to blog this season because I had so many thoughts but I just couldn’t. I will miss your thoughts but understand why you have to stop. Good luck with school!

    • Hi, Kay.

      I haven’t completely made up my mind to stop writing but I haven’t completely committed to continuing. I will probably continue in a reduced capacity.

      If you have thoughts about the next season, you can send some my way. I’ve been trying to get people to help me blog about the show but so far, no takers.

      I was pretty sick for a while. I dropped most of my classes. I only kept one which was one I was repeating but didn’t get to finish last semester. It’s over now.

      Thank you for your concern and feedback! It’s much appreciated! 🙂

  4. NOOOOOOO – you can’t quit your recaps 🙂 Recaps are the only reason I watch this ridiculous show.

    Also, thanks for pointing out the leech on Nick during Raven’s hometown date. I didn’t even notice that. See how much we need you?? Who will point out the little details??

    Seriously….take care and good luck with your classes!

    • Hi, Cynthia.

      Your name has been floating around my brain for a couple months. Your tarot reading is coming. I’m not sure when yet.

      That wasn’t actually a leech! I was just kidding. I was feigning as much disgust as possible about making out in the mud for comedy’s sake. I mean it could have been a leech but was probably just mud.

      I dropped all but one of my classes which is over now. I’m probably going to continue to blog in a reduced capacity. I can’t have it take up all my time.

      Thanks so much for your feedback and support! 🙂

  5. Hi lovely lady… Glad you are coming out of the yuck from the last couple of weeks. This season has been a strange one, I think. While the formula may have been the same, the core was very different and I appreciated it. I am about a quarter of the way through the AFTR right now and shocked at how….detached Nick seems. I just don’t understand him. I think he craves the limelight, but that deep down he hates it too, and he has an internal battle raging. And the skincare line is ridiculous but to each their own.

    I appreciate the intensity, and the need to understand others. I am the same way. I am shy and quiet and I don’t trust easily, but I am honest and don’t hide who I am. The inner workings of people is just a fascinating subject. Never fear, you shall not scare this one away!

    Anyway, take a break. Get some rest. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Rachel’s season will be lonely without you, but you need some peace in your life. Her story can tell itself, albeit with a lot less humor. Go kick schools ass, love your bf, and love on yourself for a change. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face so many times when I needed it this season. You rock my socks!

    Annnnnddd… Goodnight!

    • Hey, Jaime.

      I hope you are doing better as well. You are a very sweet, gentle spirit and you’re tons of fun to boot.

      There’s a reason why they say it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for 😉

      I agree with you that there’s some sort of internal battle raging inside Nick. I mean he was kind of a geek when this whole thing started and now millions of people know who he is and adore him. It’s hard for most people to turn away from that let alone someone who probably wasn’t always the most popular person. I would be tempted and can see how it could easily become an addiction.

      One of my issues which really has to do with me and not him is that I put my full faith in him after Andi’s season and again on Kaitlyn’s season. I get very angry when I feel like I’ve put my faith in someone and they betray it in some big way which I perceived Nick’s choice to go on BIP to be. I don’t know him IRL but I gave him a lot of support and love for those two seasons.

      When I started to see there might be a negative side to him that was anathema to my values, I was furious. I took it out on him on my blog but I was really mad at myself for missing the negatives in the first place. But once I calmed down, I just accepted him for who he is, warts and all.

      Anyway, that’s one of the reasons it’s important to ME to understand people. Some people are fascinating but more than that, I trust people easily and have gotten burned too often by those who took advantage of my good opinion of them.

      Nick seeming detached is not necessarily indicative of anything. He’s an intellectual. He’s not always cognizant of his facial expressions if he’s too lost in thought. He’s also an introvert trying to play an extrovert on TV. Not the easiest thing to do.

      I have a bad feeling about him and Vanessa. I don’t know if they’re right for each other. She’s very beautiful and kind and intelligent but I think she may not be able to offer him the mental stimulation he needs.

      As I’ve said to other people in the thread, I’m probably going to continue to blog in a reduced capacity so I have time to do other things. I do need to take care of myself but I also really need this connection to the world. It gives me a sense of purpose.

      “Annnnnddd… Goodnight!”

      You’re very adorable. Thank you for your continued feedback and support. <3

  6. I want to be like all the other commenters and wish you luck and politely say I understand that that you won’t be able to continue recapping this show. I really do want to take the high road BUT there’s a part of me that’s kicking and screaming like a two year old. I mean I’m really going to miss you and your one of a kind sense of humor. I don’t use social media (true story so that gives you a glimpse into who you’re dealing with here) so this blog is my only link to you, your on point insights and your hilarious comments. Having said that, I really do wish you the best in all things and if that means giving up doing recaps then I totally get it. I will miss your words but take delight in knowing you’re excelling in other parts of your life that are far more important and fulfilling than the craziness of the bachelor world. Seriously, wishing you good luck and happiness with thanks for all of the deep, therapeutic laughs.

    • Hey, Marla.

      I don’t know if this is Marla H or Marla B but thank you for your kind words. I will do my best to blog in some capacity. It just might not be as exciting as previous seasons. The images in particular take a lot of time.

      Thank you for your feedback and support! 🙂

  7. Your recap was perfect and I enjoyed reading it very much. It has been a pretty boring season, at to me. I watched the last several episodes thinking “blah, blah, blah” and “blah”. Where do they find these people? But I always looked forward to reading your recaps which always brought the fun. Thank you!

    Glad you are better, and wishing you the best in school. And hey I think we speak for all of us that we care more about you than the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows. You will be missed, but always do what is best for you. I will still be sending healing thoughts and cheers!

    • Hey, Vicki.

      I’m really glad I entertain you with my recaps. I will try to continue blogging but as I’ve said multiple times in this comment thread, it will have to be in a less time-consuming way.

      Thanks for your kind words and support. I really appreciate it! 🙂

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