Caila Arrives in Paradise
The next day starts with Nick inexplicably lifting a boulder on the beach.
Emily can’t wait to spend every day with Jared… but then Caila arrives.
The guys are smitten, especially Jared.
Nick claims to find Caila very attractive but at one point he remarks to one of his fellow male contestants what awesome hair she has and that he wants to wash it and when Caila interviews him to see if she wants to take him on her date, he compliments her dress with an eye for fashion detail that rivals that of a Project Runway judge. Are we completely sure that Nick is straight?
Caila chooses Jared to go on her date much to Emily’s dismay.
Jared talks to Emily and basically drops the bomb that he’s going to go out with Caila. Emily accepts the reality with a lot more poise than I would have expected… for now.
Nick consoles her by reminding her that he was dumped twice on national television. Three times if we’re counting Amanda (which we are).
Jared and Caila’s Date
Jared and Caila go horseback riding on a beach. They like each other. They drink out of coconuts. They kiss.
Back at the Playa De Idiotas, Daniel pours water into Vinny’s belly button while he’s sleeping and then drinks the water out with a straw. Seriously, WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK?
A double date card arrives for Lace and Izzy, the first double date in Bachelor in Paradise history. Obviously, they will be taking Grant and Vinny.
Emily feels the pressure as night falls and Jared and Caila aren’t back from their date yet. She doesn’t understand why Jared picked Caila over her. After all, Emily is objectively prettier. In fact, Emily doesn’t understand why all the great guys she meets don’t pick her because she’s prettier than all the girls they pick. She also can’t figure out why everyone else always gets what they want but she never does. Oh yeah, and she has a good heart. She just can’t figure out what’s wrong with her.
Let’s recap Emily’s beliefs to see if we can figure out what’s wrong with her:
- Emily thinks she’s prettier than Caila so obviously Jared should choose her.
- Emily thinks she’s prettier than MOST girls so she should always get whatever guy she wants because physical attractiveness is the most important quality that any woman could possess.
- Emily thinks everyone in the world always gets what they want but she NEVER does.
- Emily thinks she has a good heart on top of being prettier than almost every other girl so she must be inherently more desirable.
After Jared and Caila return from their date, Jared pulls Emily aside and lets her know that he’s more interested in Caila than he is in her.
The Official Double Date
“Grace” and “Vizzy” (their self-given couple names) go out for a night on the town.
They go to a club and get wasted. While Izzy and Lace are laying down on a table trying to catch their breath after a wild night of dancing in a foam pit, a random girl pours a pitcher of water on them. (I wonder how much she got paid to do that. Just because her face was blurred doesn’t mean she wasn’t in on a producer ploy to generate unnecessary drama.)
Lace threatens to go after the girl but Grant stops her. Again, the drama foreshadowed in the previews from last week fails to materialize. Lace yells at the girl to not pour water on them again. Way to bring the pain, Lacey!
Carly and Sarah’s Double Date
Since Carly and Sarah are feeling like the odd women out, they decide to make their own double date. They find some wine and invite Evan and Daniel up to the tree house for a knock-off of the amazing date they think Izzy and Lace are on.
The festivities include:
- Daniel doing push-ups with Sarah on his back.
- Evan’s attempt to impress Carly by trying to do push-ups while she’s sitting on his back. However, Evan forgets that Daniel has about 3 times the muscle mass he does and that Sarah is about 20 pounds lighter than Carly.
- Carly laughing at Evan.
- Daniel trying to get Carly to reconsider Evan by telling her how handsome Evan looks.
- Carly laughing at Evan some more and letting us know he has no “swag” (which I assume means he has no game)
The reason why Evan has no game is because he’s a feminine man and the reason why he’s perfect for Carly is because she’s a masculine woman. I’m not saying she looks like a dude but she’s definitely a more dominant personality than the other women on the show. I think Daniel is actually right that they would make a good couple. They balance each other out.
The party breaks up and Evan drunkenly stumbles to his room and crashes on one of the beds (but not before he makes an awkward attempt to kiss Carly again which she deftly blocks).
I have no idea why but one of the producers seemed to think it was cause for concern that a drunk man was passed out on a bed and decided to go check on him. Further, I don’t know why she was surprised when he wouldn’t wake up. I don’t get it but they call a medic to handle the situation. And, then, if that wasn’t weird enough, Carly is summoned to Evan’s room to check on him as if she were his wife or something.
Evan wakes up and has no idea what’s going on.
The medic says that somebody needs to stay with him and so Carly is conveniently elected. Carly agrees to stay the night with Evan and surprise, surprise, they give making out a second chance.
The episode comes to a close with Nick sitting on the beach alone lamenting his single-hood in Paradise. Which can only mean one thing: someone he really likes is about to come on the show and will probably break his heart AGAIN.
At the tail end, Hurricane Ashley blows into Paradise, an obvious threat to Jared and Caila’s burgeoning relationship.
The outtake at the end of the episode features Emily and Haley annoying the f*ck out of Nick by baby-talking to an iguana who’s hanging out above them in some kind of drainage pipe. They ask the iguana several times if he’ll give them his rose. We see footage of the iguana nodding his head. He was not answering the twins request for a rose (as if you needed that explanation).
But what you might not know is how they got the iguana to nods its head like that. That’s dominance behavior in male lizards. It doesn’t matter if you’re a female lizard or a female human. A male lizard will nod its head at you to get you to submit to his dominance. There is an answering behavior in female lizards which consists of looking down and rotating the arm closest to him (like you’re swimming). Humans can do this too to get a male lizard to calm down.
There are two ways the crew could have captured that shot of the iguana nodding its head:
- Emily and Haley were recognized by the iguana as females and he expressed dominant behavior in response to them looking at him and failing to express submission and, dumbfounded, a cameraman caught it on tape.
- One of the crew members understood lizard behavior well enough to go back later and get it to nod its head by making it feel threatened. Male lizards will also exhibit this behavior with other males if they feel threatened.
One of my ex-boyfriends is a reptile enthusiast. He had a bearded dragon that used to nod its head at me every time I came over because it could smell that I was a female. It’s very uncomfortable being hit on by a lizard.
Next: Episode 2 recap and After Paradise[jetpack-related-posts]