Take cover! Hurricane Ashley is back.
Take cover! Hurricane Ashley is back.

Bachelor in Paradise 2016: Week 3

After Paradise

Sean Lowe and Michelle Collins host After Paradise for the second week in a row. I don’t think Chris Harrison is coming back unless they announce the next Bachelor on the show.

James Gunn is the guest host. Who would’ve thunk it that the screenwriter and director of Guardians of the Galaxy is a Bachelor Superfan?

The twins are also on set and they’re SUPER big fans of “Guardian of the Galaxies.”


James Gunn agrees with me that Nick gave Ashley the truth the way Jared should have and that Jared is a total wuss.

America’s Poll #1:

Who do you feel the most bad for? Jared, Ashley, or Caila.

America chooses Jared with 52% of the vote.

I don’t feel the least bit bad for Jared. He needs to take a cue from The Book of Mormon (the Musical) and man up all over himself. I feel the most bad for Caila. All she tried to do was meet someone new and then Ashley happened. But Ashley wouldn’t have happened if Jared hadn’t been a total p*ssy. So I feel a little bit bad for Ashley.

Daniel is the next guest on the show. Daniel says that he really likes Sarah because she understands him and he understands the suffering she’s been through because his father is a quadriplegic as well. I’m pretty sure Sarah is NOT a quadriplegic.

We see a deleted scene of Haley and Emily trying to figure out which state was the last to be added to the union.

Their guesses: Maine, Augusta,  Rhode Island, Florida, Washington, New York, Idaho, and Antarctica.

twins make Daniel want to blow his brains out

Yeah, dumb dumbs. It was Hawaii.

I don’t think anyone else on Paradise would’ve known that either but I also don’t think they would have guessed “Antarctica”.

James Gunn agrees with me that Josh and Chad are the two biggest dicks ever to be part of the Bachelor franchise. A close third for me would be Jake Pavelka. James says he’s spent enough time in Hollywood to be able to recognize a sociopath when he sees one.


Americas Poll #2:

Why did Evan warn Amanda about Josh? To win her over, To look out for her, or Random act of desperation.

Random act of desperation wins at 69%. I think it was 60% desperation and 40% genuine concern.

America’s Poll #3:

Who should go home? Ashley, Jared, or Caila.

Ashley wins 58%. I vote for Jared. He’s the one responsible for this debacle having lasted as long as it has. Ashley may be obsessed but she wouldn’t have been if he hadn’t led her on.

Am I done? Please, say I’m done. I’m exhausted.

By now the new episode has already aired. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I’ll be back next Sunday or Monday.

You guys rock! Have a great week. 🙂

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Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:

Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese. – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap. – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows. – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.


6 thoughts on “Bachelor in Paradise 2016: Week 3

  1. Nick might be there for fame, but his commentary is hilarious and I LOVE that he gave the “He’s just not that into you” speech to Ashley. I know a guy who is being led on by a girl right now and I’ve given him this speech at least three times: It’s not love. It’s an illusion. This person is never going to love you and will never reciprocate. They literally put in minimal effort until they want something like validation, companionship, etc. and then they use you. It’s completely heartbreaking to watch.

    Also, Evan is creeping me out. Rumor has it he and Carly end up together, but he’s being very… rapey, for lack of a better word, and manipulative. To be fair, I think 30% of my grossed out feeling toward him has to do with his bad haircut. As Carly says, if he was just normal, it wouldn’t be so bad. Also, I’ve tried to research him. Is Evan an actual doctor? Or is he like a lab tech or something? There’s no info on his ex. Are his kids adopted? He acts like he’s never dated anyone before. The social awkwardness I don’t think is just because the cameras are there. And I think that social awkwardness is one thing, but practically molesting a girl while she tells you to leave her alone is a whole other level of gross.

    • Hey, Megan.

      I agree with you about Nick. I want to not find him fascinating but I do. I’m writing to you the day before the season ends so I think it’s safe to say that my favorite part of the season was that speech he gave Ashley. It was perfection.

      I don’t find Evan THAT creepy. I definitely find him socially awkward, even cringe-worthy at times, and definitely pathetic but not super creepy. Evan was wasted when he tried to kiss Carly the second time so I give him a pass.

      I think his kids are his biological children. Reality Steve says he has almost no contact with them based on the activity on his social media accounts.

      No, Evan is not a real doctor. He probably does consultations with men who have sexual dysfunction FOR a doctor or clinic but I think he’s just an intake person. He was a pastor before he started working in ED. That’s all I know about him.

      Thanks for all your support and feedback! 🙂

  2. Great recap – your images and gifs are hilarious. Loved your note to Nick. I’ve always been on the Nick train. Never the Evan train though. Yuck. The twins are too dumb to be for real, right? Caila and Jarred make a cute couple, I’m rooting for them. And Nick and Jen, I liked her on Ben’s season.

    • Thank you so much! It takes a lot of time to put it all together. I’ve been working about 18 hours a week this summer on each of my blogs so I’m happy they’re entertaining people.

      Yeah… sometimes I really want to jump off the Nick train because I do believe he’s caught the fame bug BUT I also think he’ll mature past it once he realizes it’s meaningless. So I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. There’s enough good there for me to still find him compelling.

      Oops. Caila and Jared didn’t work out. I watched Reality Steve’s video chat from a couple weeks ago and he said that everyone was mad at Caila because she told Ashley and Amanda she would be willing to get engaged to Jared even if she wasn’t in love with him for the fame and money. According to Steve, everyone wanted her gone and that’s the real reason Caila left.

      I liked Jen too but… I guess that’s not going to work out either! 😀

      I think she’s a little too sedate for Nick’s tastes. She’s great but someone’s got to light the fire inside of him and she hasn’t seemed able to do it. They’re both kind of low-energy introverts. They understand each other but I think they both need someone a little more dynamic to balance them out.

      Thanks so much for your feedback, Jennifer! I really appreciate it. 🙂

  3. This show is the best kind of train wreck! I have laughed so hard. I liked Daniel on JoJo’s season because he is funny as crap. Now, I like him even more. He says some things that piss me off sometimes, but he definitely makes me laugh even more. The twins are just annoying. And I AM SO CRAZY about Nick. He is gorgeous, funny, sweet, down to earth, smart. I have always liked him, except for the making love comment, and now I love him more. I hope Nick and Jen make it…. They are the perfect couple! Finally, I think Jared could have been a lot more assertive, telling Ashley no. But in one of their conversations, he said to her that he was tired of having this conversation with her, over and over. I think he likes her as a friend, and tried to keep her as a friend, after giving it a shot. With Ashley, I don’t think that is possible. I think you have to make a clean break, because she is going to stick her fingers in her ears and hum like a baby when he tells her the truth. They are both wrong in certain ways, but Ashley needs to grow the heck up. And her saying there can’t be anything worse than fwatching someone you love fall in love with someone else made me as angry as she made you with her death comment~

    • I do like Daniel too. I don’t think he’s ever made me angry. He’s kind of a dick with his lewd comments but I also find it of entertaining that he thinks he’s actually complimenting women by saying those things.

      I like Nick a lot too. It’s hard not to. I didn’t mind the “making love” comment but I seem to be the only woman in America who thinks it was justified under the circumstances (Andi refused to give him closure privately so he was a pent up ball of emotions by the ATFR). Also, Andi went into way more detail about their encounter in her book than he did on TV so I consider it a non-issue at this point. I really never found it offensive though because I was raised in a household where sex was openly discussed.

      I agree with you that Jared made a mistake with Ashley. Sometimes you just need to cut people loose so they can heal and move on. I was angry too over her comment about watching someone you love fall in love with someone because she so obviously doesn’t love him. It’s just infatuation. I screamed at my TV a few times during the episode.

      Thanks so much Jaime! I really appreciate the feedback and comments! 😀

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