Vinny and Izzy's relationship before and after Brett
They were at 100%. Then Brett came and they were at 75%.
Vinny and Izzy's relationship before and after Brett
They were at 100%. Then Brett came and they were at 75%.

Bachelor in Paradise 2016: Week 4

Recap Episode 2

Izzy finally puts her mascara down long enough to talk to Vinny.

Vinny pours his heart out. Izzy expresses her uncertainty about their relationship.

Vinny’s trust is broken so he decides to leave Paradise.

I think it was the right decision. I don’t think Izzy handled the situation well but I also think it was unfair of Vinny to expect somebody to fall in love with him at first sight and keep going at the pace they have to move at on this show to get to an engagement by the end. During After Paradise, Izzy indicated that their relationship was mostly physical at that point and she didn’t know Vinny well enough to be ready to get engaged by the end of the show. Both of them made mistakes.

There have been a few love stories that have come out of the Bachelor franchise but the majority have ended in disaster because people were manipulated into falling in love with other contestants they didn’t know at all in a very short span of time. The couples that have lasted have said their relationships didn’t really start until the season was over (with the possible exception of Jade and Tanner). Reality TV is just not a good format to foster long-term relationships in.


Jade and Tanner arrive in paradise and lighten the mood. They have a date card to hand out to one couple that they think needs/deserves it the most. They interview all the couples:

  • Carly expresses that she still is having bouts of indecisiveness about Evan.


  • Jade and Tanner exchange troubled glances when they find out that Grant has told Lace that he loves her but she hasn’t said it back. Jade and Tanner’s reaction causes Lace to doubt her relationship with Grant.
  • Josh oversells his relationship with Amanda. Tanner isn’t buying it.
  • Nick questions the possibility of finding love in Paradise because of his previous experiences with the franchise. Tanner gives Nick some relationship advice to which he responds, “Cool.”when_I_say_cool_I_really_mean_fuck_you
  • Ashley is interviewed alone. She tries to sabotage Caila’s chances with Jared by telling Jade and Tanner that Caila doesn’t care about him as much as Ashley does…

… AND Jared and Caila get the date.

I thought it was pretty uncalled for when Ashley called Caila “a little piece of sh*t” in her ITM. Who does that? Ashley needs a therapist more than she needs a boyfriend.


Later that night, Nick and Jen are walking along the beach when Jen tells Nick that he seems to have shut down the last couple of days. To Jen, he seems more interested in her when she backs off.

They have the most adult communication of any couple perhaps in the history of this franchise. They may not work out but at least I can stand listening to them talk to each other.

Jen may have a point though. Maybe the reason Nick fell so hard for Andi and Kaitlyn is because it was a competition. I never thought about that before but it’s a distinct possibility. I constantly talk about how it doesn’t make sense that Nick is on this show because if he wanted to find a girl and settle down, he could easily find someone in the real world.

Maybe the only time he’s felt real feelings recently is while he was on the Bachelorette because he likes the chase.

It’s just a theory. We’ll see how the season plays out.

Jared and Caila’s Date

Jared and Caila have a candlelit dinner overlooking a river but after about two minutes, it starts raining. I’m pretty sure those were Ashley’s tears falling from the sky.

Caila tells Jared she feels that Ashley is an obstacle to their relationship and that they have to walk on egg shells around her. Jared says he agrees. To Caila, this is being vulnerable. To me, it is stating the obvious. But whatever. It makes her feel closer to Jared. And that’s what’s important (???)

I’m not sure if I’m really rooting for these two. I’m definitely not rooting for Ashley and Jared but I’ve never liked Caila and I wanted to slap her upside the head when she couldn’t make up her mind about going on the date with Brett. I’m not rooting for her either. And Jared led Ashley on so I’m not rooting for HIM. F*ck ’em.


Jared and Caila decide to ditch their dinner and clothing and make out vigorously in the river in nothing but their skivvies. Calvin Klein: The underwear brand preferred by Jared and time-traveling McFly’s since 1985 (’55?)

In an ITM, Ashley complains about how sexy Caila is and how unsexy she is.


Dear, Ashley.

You are beautiful and sexy. Just stop crying and STFU about how unfair life is.
You will have men eating out of your palm (with the possible exception of Jared).



Carly feels her relationship with Evan is mediocre. She needs something to happen to lift her relationship from hovering somewhere around the 50th percentile.

And PRESTO! CHANGE-O! A date card arrives for Evan and Carly to take part in an ancient spiritual cleansing ceremony.


Carly and Evan’s Date

They go to an Aztec sweat lodge to undergo the spiritual cleansing. I guess both Evan and Carly are into that sort of thing. I am too – kind of. I don’t know about the sweating part though. That seems less like romance and more like exercise to me.

Evan tells Carly how much it means to him that he she’s accepted him for all “his weird”… even though, unbeknownst to Evan, she really hasn’t. But Carly is really touched by the fact that Evan can see her at her sweaty worst and still think she lights up the room: “That’s what we’re all looking for, right?”

Carly and Evan come away from the sweat lodge with a new appreciation for each other.


Ashley is hell-bent on keeping Caila and Jared apart. She says Caila may be able to make out with his body but she knows how to stimulate his mind. So Ashley’s essentially admitting outright that she’s going to mind-f*ck Jared? How is that loving him and treating him right exactly?

She tells Jared that it’s obvious he’s more into Caila then she is into him… which Jared takes to heart because taking love advice about someone you’re interested in from someone you know is obsessively-unhinged in love with you is always a smart move. Jared says he trusts Ashley and knows she would never try to sabotage his happiness.


Jared confronts Caila to see if she feels the same way about him as he does about her. Caila rightly wonders who made Jared question her feelings for him. She suspects it’s Ashley. Jared confirms it.

Caila tries to gently make Jared understand that Ashley’s motivations are selfish but he’s in denial. Jared believes with his whole heart that Ashley is his friend and would never deliberately undermine their relationship. *cough* Idiot!

The next day, Caila confronts Ashley. She demands to know why Ashley thinks her feelings for Jared aren’t as strong as his feelings for her. Ashley says she’s “heard” things. Yeah, from someone named Ashley.

Caila asks Ashley how she and Jared are going to progress as a couple if he always trusts Ashley more than he trusts her. Ashley says she doesn’t know if Jared will ever trust Caila more than he trusts Ashley.

cat fight animated

To be continuedโ€ฆ

Next: After Paradise


10 thoughts on “Bachelor in Paradise 2016: Week 4

  1. I just want to say, I loved the part you wrote in the last blog post about the iguana! Even if it was a puppet in this case, I thought the information was fascinating, and even looked it up and read more. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Thanks for the shout out! Bachelor shows are my guilty pleasure and I NEVER get to talk about them, so it’s great to read your hilarious recaps without spoilers and have a forum where people can also comment and rehash things!

    Sarah was an idiot for giving her rose to Daniel instead of Christian, but the people who are on these shows are not the best at decision making.

    “Pro tip #2, Ashley: Your soulmate will love you. Thatโ€™s part of the definition.” OMG. I’m dying of laughter right now.

    Apparently, Ashley’s been crying on other shows too. I stumbled across this article where the Million Dollar Matchmaker describes Ashley’s appearance on her show Before the taping of this season’s Paradise.

    In some ways, I do genuinely feel sorry for her because I think everyone’s been there at some point– friendzoned by someone you really care about. But, you and Nick are totally right. It’s obsession based on an illusion and not actually love. Also, most people who have been in that position are in middle school or high school. By the time you’re an adult, you usually want something real. Ashley needs to stop trying to be Jared’s friend and cut off communication completely. It needs to come from her because he will never do it. Like Caila, he’s fake because he’s trying to be nice… but in being the “nice guy,” he’s just hurting both himself and Ashley.

    I agree with your take on Izzy’s change of heart. As Carly said, it happened with her and Kirk as well. Kirk started questioning things when Carly was like, “Come to a wedding with me. Meet my whole family. We’re so cute together. When should we get married? What should we name our kids?” It was way too fast for the length of time they’d been dating and he bolted.

    • Hi, Megan.

      I’m glad I’m making you laugh! Mission accomplished.

      I went and watched the video of Patti Stanger talking to Ashley. I think it was pretty telling when she said he didn’t want to move out of the friend zone because he couldn’t imagine his life without her. That is some f*cked up sh*t to say to someone who has a crush on you. Now I really dislike Jared and think he’s probably mostly to blame for this nonsense. I hope that Ashley was telling the truth about being over him. She doesn’t need that in her life.

      I wonder why Ashley has such a hard time with love and relationships. I have a feeling she was an ugly duckling who was spoiled by her dad so she grew up thinking she wasn’t a sexual being but also was never forced to become an independent person. The two qualities combined are a total turn off to most men but I have to admit I find Ashley endearing even if I can’t deal with her antics most of the time.

      Thanks for the info and feedback! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. What follows is the most obnoxious display of indecisiveness I have ever witnessed in a human being in my entire life.

    WORD!! My god-I think that solidified my intense dislike of Caila (sp?), it was like watching a train wreck. Does Jared always attract the weird ones? He seems to have the personality of a piece of cardboard.

    • Hi, Alyson.

      I kind of wanted to throw things at my TV when Caila wouldn’t shut up about whether or not she should go on the date with Brett. I’m SO glad they didn’t choose her to be the Bachelorette.

      Haha! Jared DOES have the personality of a piece of cardboard. I don’t know what Ashley sees in him. He does have a great jawline but one does not fall in love with a jawline.

      Thanks for your comment! I really appreciate it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. This was hilarious. I always love your recaps. I totally agree that Izzy just didn’t seem to be ready for what Vinny seemed to want at the end – an engagement. She’s a few years ylunge than him or maybe she’s just not in that place in her life yet. She handled it really poorly though.

    • Thanks, Kate!

      I’m glad you find my writings entertaining.

      I think Izzy is on the right track. She just needs to get to a place where she’s able to commit and she’ll find someone. I tend to believe that if you mess up a relationship, it wasn’t the right one for you. It’s just a lesson along the way to finding the kind of love that you need.

      Thanks so much for the feedback! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Awww! You are the best, ever! Just wanted you to know that. I am seriously tired of the Ashley drama. Good grief, child, grow UP! Learn to be the bigger person. Learn that love, TRUE love, requires sacrifice. Jamanda make me want to puke. Not a fan of Lace. Meh about Jaila. I ADORE Carli and Evan together. They are both so perfectly different and odd and wonderful. Love them. Finally, really rooting for Nick, whether it is with Jen or someone else. I want him to find someone perfect for him in every way. He deserves it. Love him. And Damn, Daniel! !!!!

    • Thank you! YOU’RE the best ever too! (How can we both be the best ever? I don’t know but I’m certain it must be possible.)

      I think Ashley’s father might be standing in the way of her growing up. She seems to still be daddy’s little girl at 28. I’d like to see her gain some independence from her family and cut Jared out of her life.

      I like Amanda – mostly. I don’t like Josh at all though and am worried about his abusive nature. I believe he is controlling. I don’t think it’s AS bad as it’s been made out to be but it’s still concerning.

      I like Carly and Evan together too. Carly is actually one of the more intelligent women who’ve been on the show so I like her. Evan has grown on me like toe fungus.

      I like Nick. Always have. Daniel cracks me up. I’d rather see a reality show about him than about Ben and Lauren. THAT would be entertaining.

      Thank you for the feedback and comments! ๐Ÿ™‚

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