Bachelorette 2015 Recap: Only 5 guys left?!

Bachelorette 2015 Recap: Episode 8

There’s a lot to get to in my Bachelorette 2015 recap for episode 8, namely how we started the episode with 9 guys left and are now down to 5, but here’s a quick summary of the episode:

Shawn loses his sh*t, we finally get to see what happens on J.J. and Joe’s two-on-one, Kaitlyn continues to make what she deems “mistakes” (the only real mistakes she’s made were assuming Nick would tell the other guys she f*cked him and telling Shawn in San Antonio that he was “the one”), Shawn loses it again, and Chris Harrison drops the biggest bomb on Bachelor Nation since the announcement that there were going to be two Bachelorettes this season.

Last week, the show left off with Shawn visiting Kaitlyn’s hotel room to have a talk with her. This week we see the resolution of that episode. The show made it look like it was going to be this big deal where Shawn might leave. Didn’t happen. Shocker.

Kaitlyn: “I reassure you more than anyone.”

Shawn: “Are you in love with me?”

Dude, have you seen this show? You know she can’t answer that question until she gives out the final rose.

Kaitlyn: “You can’t put me on the spot like that.”

Shawn: “Yes or no.”

This isn’t the Shawn show, Shawn. Stop being so damned self-centered and expecting Kaitlyn to break every rule in the franchise just to make YOU feel comfortable.

Kaitlyn (taken aback by his demanding tone): “I’m FALLING in love with you.”

Shawn: “I don’t know if I can do this.”

I think the simple answer is that you can’t. You don’t even know that Nick and Kaitlyn slept together and you’re already acting like a jealous, insecure boyfriend.

How dumb are some of the people who go on this show? They know they won’t be the only ones vying for the affections of the lead and yet they demand special treatment when they were fully aware beforehand that special treatment isn’t really an option until THE LAST DAY OF FILMING. People who get pissy and don’t take responsibility for their feelings that result from a very informed decision that they made piss me off. Grow up, kids. Reality is harsh and reality TV is even harsher.

Kaitlyn says her heart will break if Shawn leaves and again bemoans the mistake she made with Nick, still believing that Shawn’s behavior is due to him being upset that she slept with Nick. Would that it were! Then Shawn’s behavior would make a little more sense. I don’t care if she told him he was “the one” off camera. For anyone on this show to take a comment like that seriously before the votes are in, is foolish. Hearts and minds change with the winds on this show and one need only look to Desiree’s season for proof of that. She went from being totally in love with Brooks to totally in love with Chris in a span of what? Two days?

It also annoys me that Kaitlyn has jumped to the conclusion that Nick would betray her by bragging to the other guys that he slept with her. If she thinks this is what the guys would be acting like if they knew Nick not only came in mid-season but managed to get into Kaitlyn’s pants in under 72 hours, she’s kidding herself. They sure as hell wouldn’t be as calm as they are. They’d be screaming from the rooftops and why Kaitlyn would want a guy who she thought might do such a thing is beyond me.

Next, we hear a brief conversation between Nick and Tanner. I knew they kept Tanner around for exposition:

Nick: “Shawn called me a master manipulator… He’s the only guy who hasn’t tried to get to know me.”

Tanner: “Shawn thought this thing was over on day two.”

Part of me does wonder if Nick is a master manipulator but then I think back to that video of him talking to a friend on the phone after Andi dumped him that was taken on an airplane without his knowledge. He had unkind words to say about Josh but he definitely did not seem insincere in his feelings for Andi. His frustration and disappointment were obvious. He couldn’t have manipulated that but I think a lot of people out there think Nick IS a master manipulator.

I don’t believe he is but if I have been completely fooled and I’m wrong about him, I hope Kaitlyn ends up with Jared. Shawn is too insecure and I don’t think they really have much in common other than wanting to bang each other.

J.J. and Joe’s Two-On-One

That sounds dirty.

Going into the date, Kaitlyn wants Joe to open up and worries about keeping J.J. around too long if she doesn’t see a connection with him because he has a kid.

The three of them go to a beach in Ireland to have a picnic. It’s predictably awkward until Joe and Kaitlyn leave to go sit on the shore for some alone time.

Joe tells Kaitlyn he’s falling in love with her and he’s never felt this way this fast about anyone. Whoa. That came out of left field. Joe hasn’t even had a one-on-one and he’s falling in love with her?

I like Joe. He’s a really sweet guy but he has zero chance with Kaitlyn. I don’t want to see him cry when Kaitlyn sends him packing. Still, Kaitlyn is happy that Joe opened up to her.

Next, J.J. and Kaitlyn have some one-on-one time. J.J. mentioned earlier in an ITM that he has a negative event in his past that he needs to cop to in order to be completely honest with Kaitlyn. As if he didn’t have enough check marks in the negatives column.

J.J.: “Three years ago, I cheated on my wife. I lost everything. My wife, my daughter half the time…”

Kaitlyn: “I’m glad you told me… I have to admit, that’s my biggest fear in a relationship but I think you suffered enough that you wouldn’t make that mistake again.” Yeah, he’s going home.

J.J. in an ITM: “I wasn’t told to walk the plank or jump off one of these cliffs.”

Unfortunately.

The trio get together again at the picnic site and Kaitlyn cuts J.J. loose.

Can I get an amen? What a freaking tool. I can’t believe he made it as far as he did but thank God he’s gone. Of course, he was the last bit of comic relief on the show so who can I mock now? Shawn? He’s just obnoxious, not funny.

J.J. feels like he was blindsided by a semi-truck.

People don’t get blindsided by semi-trucks, J.J. They get killed. You wouldn’t have had the opportunity to feel blindsided if you were ever hit by a semi. But don’t despair. You and Clint had a really strong connection. Maybe you can patch things up. You guys make a really cute couple and with last week’s Supreme Court ruling, you guys can get married now. Maybe you can even talk ABC into paying for it. I’d watch.

Kaitlyn doesn’t feel strong enough in her connection with Joe to give him a rose yet so they go for drinks to get some more one-on-one time.

Back at the hotel, Shawn is freaking out again: “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.”

Seriously?! This is the hardest thing you’ve ever been through???? No dead relatives, no heartbreak, no being bullied in school? If you think this is hard, I don’t know what you expect MARRIAGE to be like. I think you should go get burned by the world a little more before you make a lifelong commitment to someone. You’re not ready, dude.

Kaitlyn (to Joe): “It’s hard when people are like ‘why aren’t you validating me?’ You’ve been really patient.”

Yeah, I’d rather see you with Joe than Shawn too, Kaitlyn.

Joe gets the rose.

Shawn Goes to Kaitlyn’s Hotel Room AGAIN

Joe gets back to the hotel. All the guys are sitting around waiting to hear about his date. He announces to the group that he’s falling in love with Kaitlyn. Shawn in true infantile style, gets up and leaves the room.

He needs to tell Kaitlyn what’s really been bugging him. He interrupts her while she’s filming an ITM. More like production ALLOWS him to interrupt her during an ITM for dramatic purposes.

Kaitlyn (crying): “Shawn is going to tell me he’s leaving because of mistakes I’ve made. Obviously, that’s what’s happening.” Yes, OBVIOUSLY. It couldn’t be anything else but your worst fear coming to pass. You sure do make a lot of assumptions about what’s happening and don’t ask a lot of questions.

It turns out, Shawn is just bothered by the fact that Kaitlyn told him he was “the one” in San Antonio but she hasn’t backed up that statement with any similar platitudes or validation since.

See Kaitlyn? No big deal. Except it is because if this is how he acts when he thinks he’s on a somewhat level playing field with Nick, imagine how the sh*t is going to hit the fan when Shawn finds out you f*cked his arch rival.

Kaitlyn says something at this point that is very suspicious to me and I’ll come back to why after I talk about Chris Harrison’s big announcement: “If you’re there at the final two, I’m going to meet someone else’s family.” You mean at the final four, don’t you, Katie? Or did you just let it slip that a big chunk of tonight’s episode was shot out of sequence? Guess the editors thought they could slide that one past us.

Kaitlyn: “I’m worried that Shawn is having such a hard time and there are still things he doesn’t know.”

Oh, you think that might be a problem? His head is going to freaking explode.

The Cocktail Party

Kaitlyn enters the cocktail party with a nervous speech about mistakes she’s made and how worried she is about what’s going to happen. Now all the guys are completely on edge, especially Nick and Shawn.

Shawn knows “100%” that Kaitlyn was talking about him when she talked about mistakes. Oh, please. Telling you “you’re the one” over boffing Nick? Get over yourself. It’s not always about you.

Ben Z. steals Kaitlyn first for some one-on-one time. Nothing worth mentioning except that when Ben kisses Kaitlyn, his whole mouth goes around hers like he’s some kind of sucker fish. Gross.

Ben H. and Kaitlyn have a cryptic talk about the night Kaitlyn had off camera time with Shawn. Apparently, Ben H. was there too and both Shawn and he were feeling stressed about their relationships with Kaitlyn. Then Ben went to take a shower and when he came back, Shawn’s boo boo was all better. Ben H. tells Kaitlyn he knows Shawn got some sort of validation while he was in the shower and it hurt him. Kaitlyn is grateful Ben H. talked to her about it and didn’t jump to conclusions.

I view this conversation as nothing more than the next stage in Ben’s audition to be the next Bachelor. None of it actually needed to be said. We all know that Shawn got off camera time and the fact that Ben H. was there is superfluous information. I’m sure that audition will continue next week which, as things are likely to play out, will be his last or second to last episode on the show.

Nick’s Emotional Breakdown

Kaitlyn decides to confront Nick about their time together and see if he’s told any of the other guys about it. Wait? You’re going to actually ask someone a question and not assume they’re acting out your worst fears behind your back? It’s a little late but about damn time.

Kaitlyn and Nick sit down for a talk. Nick is nervous as hell. Kaitlyn is reserved. You could cut the tension with a knife and sadly, it isn’t sexual.

Kaitlyn tells Nick that he can talk about the date but maybe not let the other guys know just how “romantic” it was. You couldn’t just tell him not to tell the other guys you had sex? In fact, why didn’t you tell him that when he was putting his clothes back on?

Nick: “If I didn’t have to talk about our relationship, I wouldn’t at all. These guys always ask ‘How’d it go? What did you do?’ I didn’t say we kissed, I didn’t say it was romantic, I didn’t say it was passionate, I didn’t say it was intimate…” Hmmm… pretty sure he said a couple of those things. Checking the tape…

He said it was a “romantic setting”, it was intimate, and really personal. So he fibbed a little but the important thing is he didn’t skip around the hotel room singing, “I banged Kaitlyn and you didn’t. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.”

Next Up: Nick Gets Teary-Eyed

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