Peter’s Hometown
(AKA I don’t see race. Just look at all the black friends I have.)
Peter’s hometown is Madison, Wisconsin.
Peter must have been in a time warp while being on the show. He says he’s gotten to know Rachel “over the last few months”. Dude, it’s been four weeks max.
Rachel is worried that Peter isn’t ready to get engaged and hopes that meeting his family and friends will help him feel more comfortable dropping his walls.
Peter introduces Rachel to his friends.
Apparently, Peter at some point told Rachel that 8 out of 10 of his best friends are black and Rachel had to school him about not playing the “black friend card”.
Peter is my favorite contestant this season but I’m under no illusions about him being the sharpest tool in the shed.
Peter manages to get all of the black people who live in Wisconsin to come meet Rachel at a bar. Two black guys who happen to be in mixed race relationships. I feel like Peter’s trying to tell us something…
Peter pulls his two male friends aside for some “guy time”. He asks them how he’s supposed to know if someone is the person he should spend the rest of his life with.
I got news for you, buddy. You will NEVER know if someone is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes people are right for each other for the moment but life inevitably changes people and forces us to grow. Sometimes we grow in the same direction, sometimes we grow in different directions.
This is one of the issues I have with marriage. You have to make a promise to someone you can’t possibly know ahead of time whether or not you can keep.
Peter’s friends offer him no comfort on that score.
Peter is terrified of getting down on one knee if it’s not right.
Alright, look, Peter. An engagement is not a marriage. If you like the girl and think she COULD be the one, get engaged. The ring is free and then you can figure out later if it’s meant to last or not. Sure, in the real world people figure out if it could last before they get engaged but this isn’t the real world, it’s The Bachelorette. There’s no shame in getting engaged and figuring all that sh*t out later. The percentage of couples from this show that last is miserably low so very few of us out here in Bachelor Nation are expecting this will actually work out. The only pressure you feel is that you put on yourself.
Next, Peter introduces Rachel to his family. Rachel notices how good Peter is with his young niece and sees what kind of father he could make. She’s kvelling.
Peter’s mom is everything Eric and Bryan’s mothers aren’t: calm with healthy boundaries. See how kids turn out when motherhood is done right?
Peter tells his mom that he has fears and doubts and his walls are up and he doesn’t know when they’ll come down.
After talking to Peter, Peter’s mom talks to Rachel and asks where she wants to be in four years.
Rachel wants to be married with more than one child.
I hate questions about the future. It’s so unpredictable. I don’t see myself anywhere in 4 years. I hope I’m happy and healthy but beyond that, I have no expectations because I have no control over the future. I only have control over this moment.
I think it’s the height of folly to think you can make a plan for your life and expect it will go exactly the way you want it to. You can choose your direction but you can never know where the path will ultimately lead you. As Veronica A. Shoffstall says, “Futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight”.
Rachel asks Peter’s mom if Peter is ready for marriage.
She says he’s ready for commitment but may not be ready to propose.
Rachel doesn’t want a boyfriend at the end of this.
OMG. This show is working my last nerve. All you ever get at the end of this show is a boyfriend or a girlfriend. The only difference between a regular boyfriend and a Bachelorette boyfriend is that there happens to be a ring involved. But that ring, as we are well aware, is a guarantee of nothing.
Regardless of Peter’s appallingly realistic approach to relationships, he’s happy with Rachel. He’s just worried that the other guys are professing their love and that he might get cut because he hasn’t.
Dean’s Hometown
(AKA That lavender sh*t show)
Dean hasn’t seen his dad in two years because he’s batshit cray.
After Dean’s mother died when he was 15, Dean’s father cut himself off from his family emotionally and became a Kundalini Yogi Sikh. WT f*cking F?
I almost died laughing when Dean was telling Rachel his father and stepmother’s religious names: Paramrupe (dad) and Santantar (stepmother). 😆
I don’t have an issue with people’s religious choices but Dean’s dad is a caricature of an enlightened yogi master and it’s hard not to laugh at this absurd little man with the lavender turban and nearly floor length tunic.
Unfortunately, the laughs end there.
The producers of this show were completely cruel and irresponsible in trying to exploit Dean’s obviously very serious family troubles for our entertainment.
It was clear in the interaction between Dean and his father that there is tremendous pain in their relationship.
I don’t know what Dean’s father was like before he became a Sikh but what I saw watching the show was a man who was so devastated and disoriented by the loss of his wife that he felt the only way to escape the pain was to hide within the confines of a way of life that would shield him from having to truly examine himself and take responsibility for his failures as a father.
When Dean confronts his father about abandoning his family, his dad says that in his religion, they believe that whatever negative aspect you see in someone else is what you see in yourself. So if Dean is mad at him, he’s actually mad at himself. What a convenient way to avoid ever having to cop to one’s mistakes.
Unless Dean’s father finds the fortitude and motivation to own up to his wounds and how his actions after his first wife’s death affected his children, Dean will never be able to have a normal relationship with him or find resolution with him.
Dean really needs therapy to try to resolve his feelings surrounding his father’s behavior and find closure and forgiveness.
I don’t see him being able to have a serious relationship with anyone because his pain is preventing him from being able to be vulnerable and open. He uses humor to deflect attention from his inner world which is clearly full of turmoil.
I think it was wrong of Rachel to tell Dean she was falling in love with him after he told her he was falling in love with her. I don’t know what she was thinking. Any objective observer could see that Rachel and Dean were never going to be a match and I have to think Rachel must have known too at that point. It was irresponsible of her.
While I found Dean’s father to be mostly a blind fool, I completely agreed with his decision to not have a heart-to-heart with Rachel until she was a permanent fixture in Dean’s life. He wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t see the producers were trying to exploit him and his family.
This was a new low in my mind by the producers of this franchise.
Rose Ceremony
Before Rachel hands out her final three roses, she has a talk with Chris Harrison. She thinks Eric might be infatuated (he is), Bryan is self-aware (NOPE), Peter won’t be ready to propose (50/50 – the producers still have plenty of magic to work), and that Dean is confused about ALL of his feelings (100%). Two and a half out of 4 isn’t bad.
Rachel doesn’t want to let anyone go but she does.
1. Bryan
2. Eric
3. Peter
When I was taking notes, I wrote down the order the roses would be handed out in before Rachel actually started the ceremony. This show is so transparent.
Dean goes home but he lets Rachel know he’s not thrilled with her for telling him she was falling in love with him right before she cut him as well he should.
I hope Dean got over this incident relatively quickly and is moving toward healing and peace.
Next: Episode 9
[jetpack-related-posts]
I do love Rachel. I respect her, and feel like she is a smart woman with a great head on her shoulders, total confidence and self-awareness on her side. But if she lets Peter go because he won’t give her a ring, she may be crazy. A lot of people are saying that he just isn’t into her, but I don’t believe that. I think he is exactly what he says he is… cautious. He wants to make the right decision, and one that he can live with for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want to get engaged to her and then be a laughing-stock if they break up a month later. I think he is fantastic, and he is legitimately the only one I could see as being the Bachelor. Although, wouldn’t the same thing hold true if he was? Not wanting to get engaged so quickly? Hmmm, it is a conundrum. But I tell ya… the boy is smoking hot.
Hi, Jaime.
Well, I guess Rachel might be crazy since she let Peter go.
I don’t see how anyone could think Peter wasn’t into her after the finale. I read that that final “argument” lasted 3 hours. We only got to see about 10 minutes of it. You don’t have an emotional discussion drag on that long if you aren’t invested in that person.
I’m not sure how he could be the Bachelor if he can’t make a decision quickly about getting engaged but I’d be happy to watch his season even if he pulled a Juan Pablo at the end. I’d rather watch something compelling without a ring than something generic with one.
I’ve always thought it was silly for people to get engaged at the end. It’s only worked out a few times in 30 something seasons of the franchise.
I agree with you that Peter is a smoke show. The silvery hair and silver green eyes really does it for me. It’s an unusual combination.
Thanks for the feedback and support. I always appreciate your feedback! 🙂
One more, b/c it was too long of a comment apparently. Sorry.
Eric is a sweet kid, but that is exactly what he is to me, a KID. And he happens to drive me up the wall. Truly, madly, deeply drives me crazy. I just can’t with him. Yeesh
Dean, to me, is one of the best of the bunch. I have a ton of love for him, and my heart goes out to him. He is precious, funny, kind. He will be an amazing husband and father one day. However, you are right that he needs some counseling. Not because he is crazy by any means, but he has so much packed inside himself that he refuses to let out and it is eating him away. He needs to be able to let it go, and move forward. THEN he could have an amazing life with an awesome woman. And he is dang cute.
And Brian. I really have nothing to say except I don’t buy it and his mom needs to chill the f*&% OUT. But I think he will be her pick. We will have to wait and see.
Well, I agree with you on every point. I guess Eric turned it around for me at the finale. He had been annoying but Eric the man showed up to that last rose ceremony. I was very impressed.
I forgot to say in my last response to you that Peter may be gunning for the Bachelor gig now since Rachel was pretty nasty in a very subtle way on ATFR when his feelings were raw. I can see him looking for payback. And I have no doubt he’ll get it. No one on the BIP lineup can compete.
I didn’t want to believe she would choose Bryan but she did. It was disappointing. I do hope she finds happiness though because I like her a lot. I don’t like the way she handled herself on ATFR but I understood it. Too many feelings between her and Peter. She didn’t want to get distracted from her goal.
Thanks for taking the time to write. I really appreciate it! I hope you’re doing well 🙂
Hi Emily,
Great recap! You have wonderful insight into the human condition……that paired with a fantastic sense of humor, make you a very entertaining blogger. I will truely miss your writings! Thanks for the laughs!
Hi, Rachel.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m really tired which is why I probably won’t cover Paradise but if Peter is the Bachelor, I will definitely cover his season. If it’s someone else, probably not.
I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my blog. I really appreciate your readership and for taking time to comment on my blog.
Thank you! 🙂
Thanks for the recap! That was quite a large bite for you to swallow, but you managed to cover it all!
So– everyone I know that watches the show falls into one of two camps regarding their feelings about Peter. Camp 1: Peter is a good guy, who is completely normal for not yet being sure he wants to marry Rachel after barely being in her presence. He knew what he was getting into, and knew the show is supposed to end with a proposal. He probably thought he could get there in time with his feelings, but is finding that he just can’t. (I fall into this camp.) Camp 2: Peter is a conniving wretch whose plan all along was to play his cards right and end up as the next bachelor.
Anyway, I guess time will tell, but I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. 🙂 Thanks again for the recap!
Hi, Melissa.
Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I had no idea there was a divide until you told me but I’ve been seeing it in a lot of comments sections of different articles about the show.
I’m baffled by it. People are saying Peter is a commitment phobe because he didn’t want to propose to Rachel after knowing her for a handful of hours while she was dating other men. I don’t think any sane person would think that was a good idea which is one of the issues I have with this franchise.
I think people also forget that these people are on a television set for 6 weeks while they’re trying to get to know each other. I read that the final discussion/argument between Rachel and Peter lasted 3 hours. For 3 hours they were trying to figure out how to make it work while 10 or so crew members were following them around.
All the intimate moments we see are being watched by a large crew of people. How are you supposed to get any sense of reality of what it’s like to be with someone when all that is going on?
I also don’t think people realize that in order to be on camera, you have to have big bright lights shining in your face all the time. How annoying is that when you’re trying to figure out if you want to marry someone?
The whole thing is very unnatural and it doesn’t surprise me at all when people occasionally come along and remind us the emperor is wearing no clothes.
It’s weird for me to have to defend Peter. I could see why people didn’t like Nick and I defended him a lot, especially after Andi’s season. But Peter? Why do people think he’s faking it? I just don’t see it. I know that he said in a high school yearbook that he wanted to be on the Bachelor but that was almost half his life ago. I don’t think he held on to that dream all these years. He could have easily gotten on the show before now if it was really a serious goal.
Anyway, thank you for your feedback and support. Always appreciated! 🙂
I was disappointed to see Dean is going on BIP he would be a good bachelor.
I thought Rachel was going to pick Peter because he is pretty and she wants the one she cant have either.
Then I thought she was going to pick Bryan after not getting what she wanted from Peter.
So either way not a satisfying choice or ending to this season.
Hi.
I don’t think Dean is ready to helm a Bachelor season but don’t despair because he’s going on BIP. Either Peter is going to be the Bachelor or someone from BIP is. That could be Dean.
Chris Harrison said they were going to see how BIP went before choosing a Bachelor because they chose Nick last year.
I wish Rachel had chosen Peter not because I thought she couldn’t have him but because I thought he was right for her. I still do but she was pretty mean to him on ATFR.
Thank you for your feedback and support! 🙂
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