Rachel’s One-On-One
“Rachel, let’s get a taste of the local flavor. –Nick”
Rachel and Nick go to a bar that is “only for locals” to have a drink in preparation for “the talk”.
Nick: Uh… Will I be, um… similar to guys you’ve dated? Will I be different in some way but I’m not saying which way because I’m not supposed to notice the way in which I might be different because I’m white and white people aren’t supposed to notice these things? Will this and by this I mean the distinct lack of melanin in my skin versus the considerably more melanin in your skin make sense to them?
Rachel: Yes and no. I’ve never brought home a white guy.
Nick: I have no idea what you’re talking about but thanks for helping me not look like a racist on national television.
Rachel: I’ve dated a white guy but I’ve never brought one home because my dad would murder him.
Nick: Will they be OK with it? I’m too young to die! I’m too young to die!
Rachel: If you knew the rest of my family you would see that we’re a rainbow of fruit flavors very diverse.
Rachel returns to the beach house glowing from her date with Nick. Corinne freaks out. She knows that Rachel, Vanessa, and Raven aren’t going home so it’s either her or Kristina getting the axe.
Dr. Harrison has another session with Nick to discuss his choices for hometown dates. Nick knows who he wants to send home and decides he doesn’t want to do it at a rose ceremony.
Corinne is freaking the f*ck out that Corinne is going home but if you’ve seen this show long enough, you know that the person freaking out about going home is the person who’s definitely not going home.
Lo and behold, Nick shows up at the beach house and asks to speak to Kristina.
I believe I said last week that she was going home this week. It’s not that I don’t like Kristina. I like her and I find her admirable. She’s been through some serious sh*t in her life and it takes a lot of strength and character to come out the other side a better person for it. But she just wasn’t right for Nick.
Love isn’t about what’s fair or what’s right or “giving people a chance”. It’s about chemistry and compatibility. The world can judge the love between two people as much as it wants but love doesn’t give a sh*t. (And there’s certainly going to be a whole lot of judging going on if Nick chooses Corinne.)
Kristina doesn’t take it well at first but then she comes around and lets Nick know she’s happy he’s finding love with someone even if it’s not with her.
I don’t know if Kristina has been barefoot the entire season because her American family never sprang for a pair of shoes for her but she jumps into the f*ck off van (that one’s for you, Jaime 😉 ) without any shoes on.
****SPOILER ALERT – STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ A SPOILER ABOUT TONIGHT’S EPISODE. ABC SPOILED TONIGHT’S EPISODE EARLIER IN THE WEEK ON EXTRA SO I’M NOT SAYING ANYTHING THAT’S NOT ALREADY OUT THERE. BUT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW, STOP READING.****
My dad watches Extra and they ran a segment last week revealing who the mystery woman is who comes back to talk to Nick. It looked like Danielle L. from behind but it’s actually Andi. I have no idea why she’s coming back on the show other than to make us think Danielle L. might be coming back.
So if Danielle L. isn’t coming back, it means the final two is either Vanessa and Raven or Vanessa and Corinne. My money is on Vanessa and Corinne. Nothing will make America sweat like having the most likable and least likable contestants battling it out in the final round.
But I hope I’m wrong. I will rest much easier knowing that the worst choice Nick will make is Raven. I don’t think Raven is a bad choice (I heart Raven) but I don’t think she and Nick are right for each other.
Thanks for reading and commenting, guys! I really appreciate it!
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I also really value your input so please, leave me a comment. Good or bad, I respond to all comments.
I’ve noticed that I’m getting visitors from all over the world so if you’re not a native English speaker, please, don’t let that stop you from posting! Your English doesn’t have to be perfect. I still want to hear from you! Talk to me Bachelor Nation.
Check out these other blogs I think you’ll enjoy:
Therese Odell’s blog – Spoiler free and if you like snark, you will love Therese. (She has a new site. This is the updated link: foolishwatcher.com)
OfficeStace.com – She does a nice, short and to the point spoiler-free recap.
IHateGreenBeans.com – Thorough, spoiler-free recaps by Lincee. Super nice lady too!
Some Guy in Austin – Spoiler-free guy’s perspective on the shows.
BachelorBurnbook.com – A compilation of the funniest tweets about all things Bachelor.
Reality Steve – SPOILER ALERT! Reality Steve is pretty caustic but love him or hate him, he’s entertaining and he’s the only truly accurate source for spoilers and “dirt” on contestants.
Sharleen Joynt’s Blog – Sharleen Joynt is the absolute bomb. She’s by far my favorite former Bachelor/ette contestant of all time. So glad I was finally able to find her blog to share with you guys. She is unsurprisingly the most insightful blogger about the Bachelor/ette/IP franchise.
“but I really don’t want to give up the money or the fame so I’m going to bite the bullet and put a ring on the finger of the woman least likely to give me crap about whoring and drinking while we’re engaged”…..This was too funny!!!! Loved the entire “conversation” between Nick and Chris.
Thank you for your recap!
Hey, Cynthia.
Thank you for your feedback! I’m glad I could make you laugh.
I got your tarot card reading request. I’m making my way through them but they’re a lot of work.
Thanks! 🙂
I have two favorites tonight for you…
You’re not a boat bangle, child. Nick’s looking for a wife (allegedly), not the latest trend in yacht accessories. PICTURE INCLUDED!
Back at the beach house that has been padded for Corinne’s protection while producers continue to prey on her deepest narcissistic fears by denying her time with Nick, Corinne decides that Rachel would be a good person to confide in about her rich white girl problems and her concerns about Vanessa’s compatibility with Nick.
Almost had to change my britches twice!
Most importantly, thank you for my shout out.. I am loving the f*&k off van…. Oh.SO.MUCH! As always, you the best ever!
Hey, Jaime.
Glad I could make you laugh. It makes this whole crazy blog idea worthwhile.
No, YOU’RE the best ever. 😛
Thank you, Jaime. Your support and feedback is much appreciated. 🙂
HI Emily I enjoy your blog and feel that since I have been reading it for awhile I ought to tell you so! I am a mental health therapist and the show intrigues me with all the dysfunction and drama LOL. I really like all your metaphors, observations etc—-I feel it enhances my viewing pleasure… 🙂
Hi, Susan.
Thank you for writing to let me know that you enjoy my blog. I really like to know the people who are reading my blog so don’t be shy.
I’m glad I can enhance the Bachelor experience for you.
Thanks for the feedback! 🙂
Cringey Corinne gets even more likeable next episode, a bit of overacting but its shocking you can tell he actually likes him
Hey, DG.
I saw Corinne on Jimmy Kimmel and she seemed really demure and quiet. It makes me wonder how much of what happened on the show was her and how much was alcohol. She didn’t seem like the same person.
Yes, I could tell Corinne actually liked Nick. I’m glad my instincts were right though and that he wasn’t seeing her as a serious possibility as a wife. I think she got to hometowns solely because of Raquel.
As always, thank you for the feedback! Really appreciate it 🙂
Hi Emily,
I’ve been in a bit of a funk the last few weeks so didn’t get to this recap until today. If I had read your blog when you posted it I am sure I would’ve been back to my old self sooner. So many great lines, a number of belly laughs, and your writing style is excellent.
My favorite line was “you’re not a boat bangle, child”, On point! The entire recap was one of my favorites. I love how your mind works. If I was a magical fairy god-mother I would make your body as fine as your mind. But will send healing thoughts to you every day.
Your health comes first and if you must stop, then I am sure all of your fans would miss your wonderful recaps, but would still want you to do whatever you have to do to get better and stronger. I’ll just go re-read your old recaps for the laughter, and would enjoy staying connected.
Hi, Vicki.
Thanks for letting me know your comment went missing. I think you probably didn’t put the captcha code in and it went to my spam folder. I found it though.
You’re very sweet. I wish you could be my fairy godmother too! 🙂
I’ve been struggling a lot the last few weeks because of a virus. It was coming and going and now it’s got a strong hold on me. I haven’t been able to do anything.
I really don’t know what I’m going to do yet. This season got screwed up at the end. It’s hard to be funny when you don’t feel well and all you have are generic hometowns to write about.
If I continue to cover the show, I will have to do it differently than I have up until now. It’s too much work. It takes up all of my free time.
I’m happy to keep in touch with any of my readers. You can write me anytime. My email is located at the bottom of every page. It goes through to my main email.
Thanks you very much for your feedback and support! 🙂
Missing your recaps. Hope all is well.
Hey, Marla.
Did you get my email? I did a tarot reading for you a couple of weeks ago.
I’m struggling with a virus so I think I’m done for the season. I’ll probably write something after the finale. I’m pretty sure Nick is going to choose Vanessa so I’m not on the edge of my seat or anything.
I’m glad you enjoy my recaps. Thank you for your feedback and comments. 🙂
Hi Emily-
Sorry for the delay in responding.
No, I never received the tarot reading! If you still have the results, I’d love to see it!
I hope all is well too! Thank you as always for your re-caps!
Hi, Caroline.
I’ve been knocked on my ass by a virus. That’s why I haven’t been writing. It’s taking all my energy to get through the day right now.
I’m glad you enjoy my recaps. Thank you for your feedback and support! 🙂
Hi Emily,
I swear I wrote a long winded comment a couple of weeks ago, but messed up the sending part I guess. So will keep this one short. Always your recap is a joy to read, and there is always some comment or picture that makes me laugh. So thank you again.
Sending healing thoughts your way.
Hey, Vicki.
I found your comment and responded to it. See above.
Thank you for the healing thoughts. I need them! 🙂
I’m just seeing your response to me on 3/11 and no, I didn’t get your email. Shoot! I do hope you’re feeling better. Positive affirmations and healing thoughts your way.
Hi Emily-
There seems to be 2 ‘Marla’s on here now, which is unusual, since there aren’t many of us around.
Hello, other Marla!
I’ll sign in as Marla H from now on. But no, I never received your tarot reading. Perhaps there’s some confusion between the two of us?
Hi Marla H! I’m Marla B. I never received the tarot card reading either. Could there possibly be more than 2 of us? I would have loved the tarot card reading but it seems another Marla must have been the lucky recipient.
Hi, Marla H.
I’m sorry to take so long to respond to my comments that came in after Nick’s season ended. The reading was for Marla B. I don’t know if you requested a reading or not. If you did, I don’t think I got the request. You can request again if you wanted a reading by going to my contact page.
I would never have guessed there would be two Marla’s either. It’s an unusual name.
Thanks so much for your feedback and support! 🙂
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