Bachelorette 2015 Recap – Episode 10: The Final Two Revealed
Before I get into the my Bachelorette 2015 recap for episode 10, I want to play a little game. Below are three separate screen captures of Kaitlyn’s reaction to each of the three remaining guys telling her they love her. I’m listing the guys in alphabetical order. See if you can guess who Kaitlyn will pick as her final two and who she is actually in love with:
Have a guess? Well, I already know who Kaitlyn picked as her final two and based on these reactions, I definitely have a good idea who she’s going to choose. A smile is all in the eyes.
Last week’s episode left us not sitting on the edge of our seats to find out how the fight between Nick and Shawn ended. We pretty much saw it all last week. The only additional thing that happened was that Nick called Shawn out about his Eskimo brother comment. Shawn had no response other than to tell Nick he’s an inconsiderate a**hole and storm out of the room.
Kaitlyn: “Nick and Shawn just hate each other and it’s taking away from my feelings for both of them.”
When did Nick say he hated Shawn? Shawn clearly hates Nick but all Nick ever said was that he had no respect for Shawn because of his poor behavior.
Ben’s Fantasy Suite Date
Kaitlyn: “Ben’s just Ben. It’s easy and it’s nice.” I.E. He’s boring.
Ben and Kaitlyn go horseback riding to a castle that was designed by the same architect who designed Buckingham Palace. It’s a nice castle, don’t get me wrong, but it’s no Buckingham. Maybe it was a rough draft.
They have an uneventful picnic by the lake. Just more of Ben’s audition tape to be the next Bachelor.
At night, they have dinner inside the castle. We find out that Ben turned 26 while on the show and that Kaitlyn’s 30th birthday is in a couple of months so she’s probably 30 by now. Kaitlyn says the age difference doesn’t matter because Ben is so mature but she’s lying. Women generally want older men. Not all but most and Kaitlyn doesn’t strike me as the type who wants to babysit. Four years, especially in your 20s, is a huge age gap.
Nevertheless, the date seems to go well. Kaitlyn claims to have only gotten 30 minutes of sleep. I don’t think they had sex though.
Shawn’s Fantasy Suite Date
The first activity on the agenda is golfing. I guess Shawn is a golfer. As if there weren’t already enough things about him not to like.
Shawn: “She’s got a beautiful swing. Just something else to add to the checklist of wife material.” Vomit.
Kaitlyn ends up winning the round despite her lack of experience after Shawn sinks putt after putt in the lake. I hope he doesn’t miss the hole in the fantasy suite. For Kaitlyn’s sake.
Next, Kaitlyn wants to play truth or dare. Shawn picks dare because “no one picks truth” (least of all Shawn) and he’s a “dare kind of guy.”
Kaitlyn dares Shawn to streak across the golf course.
Kaitlyn: “I’m not leaving this golf course until Shawn strips naked and that sun’s going down fast and that moon’s coming up if you know what I mean.” Well, I may not like Shawn but he has a rockin’ body so bring it on.
Shawn strips down to his underwear. He’s wearing what look like skin-tight black long johns. Kaitlyn cracks up.
Kaitlyn: “Is that your underwear?”
Shawn: “It’s a tough laundry day.” It’s good to know the boy has a sense of humor some of the time.
Shawn finally strips all the way down. He keeps his neon blue socks on though. Shawn sinks his last putt while Kaitlyn grabs his pile of clothes and sprints away cackling. Shawn runs after her carrying his junk in one hand. Yeah, it fits in one hand.
The night portion of the date takes place in a random hotel.
Kaitlyn’s ITM: “Shawn and I have had the most ups and downs out of anyone here and I think it’s because it started up [so high].” I can think of other reasons you’ve had the most downs with Shawn. Namely, he’s a jealous nitwit.
Shawn’s ITM: “…I truly believe Kaitlyn and I are in an awesome spot. Things are just going to get better from here on out.” Famous last words.
Kaitlyn: “I hate to bring this up but it seems like you have nothing bad to say about Ben…” Who has anything bad to say about Ben? He’s a dreamsicle. “…and then you and Nick are just like [at each others’ throats]… What is it that you don’t like about him?”
Shawn: “I just didn’t understand his reason for coming here and I didn’t think he was here 100% for you…” as if so many of the guys were there 100% for Kaitlyn. Clint, J.J., Ian to name a few. You never said boo about any of them.
Kaitlyn: “Why haven’t you talked to him?”
Shawn: “…I did talk to him.” More like you went to his room and insulted him for a solid 10 minutes.
Shawn: “…I’m not the kind of person who talks about people behind their back. I went over to his place and told him I thought he was an a**hole because he is… It didn’t go over very well.” You think? “Obviously, he was very upset and got super defensive and tried making these ridiculous accusations…” So Nick made the Eskimo brother story up out of thin air? And that’s ONE accusation, singular. “You know he does what he does best. He’s a smooth talker…” Unlike you who can barely get out a sentence without defying all laws of grammar. I make you sound better than you actually speak. “As soon as I left, I was just like, ‘I’m glad I came over here because you just proved exactly what I feel about you.'”
So by being eloquent and remaining calm in the face of a completely unwarranted barrage of insults, Nick proved he’s an a**hole and not on the show for Kaitlyn? Whatever, Shawn.
Kaitlyn brings up that Nick told him about the Eskimo brother comment. Shawn is pissed. Because he got caught maybe?
Shawn: “He is a terrible person. He is delusional. He’s manipulative. He’s an a**hole. How old is he? He’s still acting like a 16-year-old girl…” 1) That sounds like a spot-on description of you and 2) you didn’t answer the Eskimo brother allegation in your attempt to deflect blame away from yourself.
Kaitlyn decides it’s best to continue talking about the situation off-camera so she gives Shawn the fantasy suite card and they’re off like a Catholic school girl’s panties.
I assume they had sex in the fantasy suite. I don’t see Shawn being cool with Nick definitely sleeping with Kaitlyn once and possibly twice without him getting a piece of the action too. I guess that makes Nick and Shawn Eskimo brothers. Oh, the irony.
Nick and Shawn’s Cockfight: The Sequel
Nick is waiting for Shawn outside Shawn’s room when Shawn gets back from his fantasy suite date the next morning.
Nick: “What’s up, Shawn?” Long silence. “Got a few minutes?
Shawn: “Not really. I don’t really want to talk to you at all.”
Nick tells Shawn he wants to respond to the allegations Shawn made against him. Nick follows Shawn into his room because it’s not like he has the option to tell Nick to get lost. Production wants a fight.
Nick: “The other day when you stopped by my place, I was shocked but impressed because you finally wanted to have a man-to-man conversation.”
Shawn: “Yeah, something you wouldn’t do obviously because I just spent all day and all night with Kaitlyn just telling me you were saying sh*t about me… if I hear my name come out of your mouth one more time to Kaitlyn, it’s not going to be pretty.”
Nick: “Are you threatening me?”
Shawn: “You’re the worst person. You’re even worse than I thought you were…”
Nick: “Are you threatening me?”
Shawn: “You know I’m glad I came over there cause I was a little hesitant at first but once I left I was like, ‘I’m glad I did that cause you just proved everything I was saying.’ You were trying to throw me under the bus-”
Nick: “Kaitlyn asked me what she thought.” Okay, unless they chose not to show that, she didn’t ask you what you thought of Shawn, but I’m still on your side because Shawn is a total a**clown.
Shawn: “She said you were just talking about me… like the stupid sh*t you brought up before. It makes no sense to me.” I’m not sure there’s a whole lot that makes sense to you, Shawn.
Nick: “Like what?”
Shawn: “You’re just out of your mind. You’re delusional.” And you clearly don’t understand what it means to have a man-to-man CONVERSATION. You know where people ask questions and respond to what’s actually being said.
Shawn and Nick talk over each other at this point and it’s hard to make out what either is saying.
Nick: “Are you gonna let me talk?”
Shawn: “No, I don’t want to let you talk. I don’t want to even see you right now.”
Nick: “So you’re gonna come into my place and talk at me for 20 minutes and not give me a chance-”
Shawn: “Yeah, I told you how I felt. You’re just a little smooth talker who loves to hear himself talk.”
More talking over each other…
Shawn: “I really don’t want to see you right now, honestly. You’re the last person I want to see… I don’t care if I ever see you again for the rest of my life so why don’t you get the f*ck out of my place right now?” And you think Nick’s the one acting like a 16-year-old girl?
Nick: “Alright. Fair enough, Shawn.”
Nick’s ITM: “Shawn claims he wanted to be a man but he wasn’t man enough to have a conversation. And for his response to get so fired up and then threaten me… says a lot about his character… I just hope Kaitlyn is as smart as I think she is. It’s hard for me to imagine she keeps us both after this. She’s got to be sick of this. I mean we all are.”
Yes, WE ALL ARE. I hope I never have to see Shawn and Nick interact ever again.
The Rose Ceremony
Chris Harrison and Kaitlyn sit down to talk before the rose ceremony. Kaitlyn talks about what a great time she had that week with each of the guys and what is special about each of her relationships.
Chris: “But you know Shawn in particular has been jealous. And maybe it’s the situation but I’m sure part of you has to wonder, ‘Is it just here?'”
HINT, HINT. If Chris Harrison takes it upon himself to downplay one of the guys, it’s a good bet he would be a VERY bad choice. People may be cynical about this franchise and they have a right to be but successful relationships coming out of this show DO boost ratings so I don’t think Chris is making idle conversation. Sounds like a warning to me.
Kaitlyn: “I would say that’s my biggest concern with Shawn for sure.” Good. Don’t sweep it under the rug because you’re hot for the boy.
Kaitlyn walks into the rose ceremony where her three men are waiting. She announces that her heart is beating out of her chest. Considering that her dress is cut down to her navel, that can’t be a literal statement or we’d be able to see it.
Before she can start the ceremony, Kaitlyn gets overwhelmed and leaves.
Chris Harrison comforts her and sends her back in: “Tell them what’s going on.”
Kaitlyn: “I know what I have to do but it breaks my heart to think about doing it.”
Thank you, ABC, for yet another manipulative promo last week. You put those two things together and made it seem like Nick or Shawn was going to leave before the rose ceremony because of their fighting. Good thing I have no faith in your edits.
Nick gets the first rose. I’m torn about who I want to get the second one. I like Ben more but the bloodthirsty Roman in me wants to see Nick and Shawn battle to the death over Kaitlyn.
Shawn gets the other rose.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you your next Bachelor:
Ben and Kaitlyn say their goodbyes. Oddly, Ben doesn’t seem that broken up about it. Does he already know he’s going to be the next Bachelor? I wouldn’t put it past ABC to have been grooming him all along.
Next up: Weirdest moment in Bachelor/ette history and Kaitlyn meets Shawn and Nick’s families
2 thoughts on “Bachelorette 2015 Recap – Episode 10: Final Two”
This week was chock full of great jokes/one-liners. Might be the funniest entry yet!
Thanks, Anthony! 🙂